Life — April 13, 1899 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IMPORTANT DOMESTIC STATISTICS. An up-to-date mathematiclan Sgures that the use of tele- phone service in a private house adds $7 per cent. to the time availible for social or Intellectual pleasures, increases the veetnexs of the temper 4734 per cent. by conjuring awkward cles of all sorts, and protongs the expectancy of life wing to the removal of dally friction and the sense of perfect security obtained. Message rates make the service absurdly cheap, considering these tmportant results. How so? , Corponil Cartridge couldn't write his name before he enlisted, and now hy —Yonkers Statesman. DON'T BE CARELESS. In these days of nursematds, the Gall Borden Eagle Brand Condensed Mik ts a great xafegnard to the health of the little ones. It will noteastly xpoll, being perfectly stertiized tn tts manufacture. Tom: What are the relations between you and Miss Van Dyke nowadays? Jack (gloomity): Her father and mother, bang It! —Hareara Lampoon. HOTEL VENDOME, BOSTON. The {deal hotel of Amertca for permanent or transtent guests, “A MAN has to dle to make anything out of life tnsar- ance,” sald the citizen “Oh, no," replied the tnsurance agent, blandly died yet."—Yonkers Statesni For polite service, all the conventence of home, and dine location, you will do well to stop at the Thorndike" while In Boston. “Wily does Bants go around with his hair pulled down over hls forehead and tits shoulders ail bunched up? It makes biin look Uke a mn TL know It. one who hada grudge agatnst him once told him that be tooked like Napoieon, and he belteved it —anscers. Don't forget to ke ® few bottles of Cook's Im- pertal Extra Dry Champagne with you on your summer outings. Wuen Lawson Tait, the English surgeon, and his wife, were driving through the city of New York one hot summer morning, Mrs. Tait, observing large blocks of Ice standing or, remarked: ‘¢ What a novel plan they the alr nice and cool by exposing small ice- bergs opposite each door,""—Boston Home Journal. A GOOD REWARO, A schoolinistress concetved an original tdea. Her scholars only dreamed of amusements, and, tn spite of all her efforts, the good intstress could obtain neither good behavior nor good work. One day, on opening her class, she sald to her pupils: Young indies, those among you who, during thls entire week, will prove themselves studious, and who will have had no bad marks, will receive axa recompense a bottle of Funkla du Japon, a perfume such as you have never smelt before, the most dell f the renowned Parisian Pertumer Oriza Legrand sold by all perfumers and druggists, The result Was that the schoolmistress atthe end of the Week had hot a sufficient supply of Lottles to satisfy the claimants, CuaM, the F ‘a Gascon, Wragwed that his was the wonder of the wortd hardly sce the My father bad a dintng-room,” sald Cham, “ which was Just as remarkable the other way. It so low that the only fish we could serve at table was sole."—Ezchange. FOR A SPRINGTIME OUTING. No region {n America 1s more beautiful or healthful than the magulficent mountain country of Western North Caro- lina, which Is known as the “Land of the Sk; id has forty-three peaks higher than Mt, Washi Asheville bs the centre of this beautiful section, and nearby are the famous Hot Springs, Tryon, Saluda, Sapphire, Blowing Rock, Lenotr, and a score of charming resorts, Asheviile Is less than twenty-four hours from New York, and Is reached by through vestibule trans upon the Southern Railway, which operates three handsome trains between New York and the South dally, and ts the only tine tn the South operating a aystem of dining cars all the year round. A beautiful book, just Issued, entitied ©The Land of the Sky,” sent toany address upon request. A, S. Thweatt, Southern Railway, 271 Broadway, New York. was talking one day with ers laronial dining-halt It was so bigh you could Facue Lieveurs (CORDIALS) “The first and only truly American production.” Superior Tonle and Digestive Beverages, which combine the Delicious Taste and Aroma of Natural Y Write for Mastrated Booklet and Prices. EAGLE LIQUEUR DISTILLERIES, RIEINSTROM BROS., Distilters and Exporters, ESTABLISHED 1876. 943-905 Martia St, —D44-DE4 East Froat Bt, CINCINNATI, O10, WALL STREET JOURNAL AT ALL “CASTLES IN THE ALR.” NEWS-STANDS Chained fo Business? Can't go Fishing or Shoot- ing? Do the next best thing—READ Forest and w Stream, The Sportsman's home journal of shooting, fishing, eel yochting, camp-life, and natural history. All dealers. " For 2: al trial tri ISHIN cents, speci 'UBLI kly, 10 cents we will send it'on 4weeks. FOREST AND STREAM . CO., 346 Broadway, New York, HEAbLicHTS An Article that has maintained itself as su- perior to all others, for nearly a century, must needs have positive degrees of excellence, such as our OLD CROW RYE. None other can approach it in quality or popularity. Compare it with others; it will help you to decide. H. B. KIRK & CO., NEW YORK. . a —