Life — March 25, 1899 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

e Se ars ————~ -—- “ Whtr-r-roo! Oi'm Jerkin’ him onty the lure.” ixplain; he slopes off inty the dark ay the trays, and the nixt day he sinds a man for his traps and hoorse. Tho girl slid inty tho house, and Smith hangs around whoile Oi drisses the mare's cut and puts her to bid. He's not pumpin’ me. He's seein’ it all plain erough, and he’s thinkin’ dapely. The whole party wint home in the mornin’ widout seein’ Blanche, it bein’ given out thot she wor near did wid sudden illness, and 'twor loike a picnic in tho rain, thot damp and dismal yez down't know, “Thot's all, sor, The girl wor married two years ago, Oi'm hearin’, to a felly named Jones, one av thim she frosted. Smith niver give ber another chance, Mobbe 'twor bitter for him, Oi dunno, but sho wor a foino girl, barrin’ her foolishness —tho bist av them bas thot—and, on the quiet, sor, sho loses nothin’ whin sho down’t get him.” T extended my hand to Mr. Magarvey, after a silence which seemed to indicate beyond doubt that the reminiscence was at an end, and looked him squarely in tho face, “Patrick,” said I, “you have changed somewhat of tate years, Did you know that we had mot before?” “No, sor,” said ho, and his eyes twinkled with wonder ; * beggin’ your pardon, sor, what's the nat “ My name,” said I, in what was intended to be an impressive manner, “is Smith, I have taken to the wearing of a beard only recently, and it seoms a good disguise,” He looked bewildered for an instant— meroly w flash, Then he said: “The Smiths is a very numerous family, sor, and ‘tis many ay thim Oi’ve mit in me day. Oi—Oi trust, sor,” running his fingor lightly over the mare’s scar, “ thot 'tis happy Oi’'m foindin’ yez, sor.” I might have said yes, but, being honest, I said nothing. D. H, Talmadge. ¢¢ 7 Sittrue that the professor of mathe- matics sometimes takes a drop too much?” “Yes, he seems to believe that one swallow doesn’t make a summer,” No Doubt of It. ILLIAMSON: Do you believe that hanging prevents murder? Henderson: Ofcourse. Why, there have been lots of men who would have been killed if they hadp’t got hung. LD LADY (at insur- anceoffice): |want to take out a fire insurance policy at once. Our house is on Missionary: 18 PANGO INT—MY AssiSTANT, YOU KNOW. 18 B86 AT HOME? Tiger: ou, Yes! uu's IN ALL RicuT. BUT UB's NOT aT nomE. The Next Morning. “ OW do you feel after last night?” “Rocky. How do you?” “Fair, Wife awake ?” “Yes. Yours?” “Yes.” “Mad 2?” “Wild. Yours?” “Don't mention it.” “I don’t know that it pays, after all.” “Nor 1” Up late. Too many cigars—nothing in it.” That’s so. At rare intervals all right, but a constant thing—never! “Right. Great jackpot.” “The last one. Yes. Say, why didn’t you call me in that first round ?” “You had me beat all right.” “*T had only two small pair.” ** That was enough.” “I must be getting to the office.” “Me too, Coming again to-night 2” « Yes—I guess $0.” vm Masson, fire. “RAISED ON A PARM." comlecbooks=com