Life — January 19, 1899 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Mrs. Lecrere (as her husband comes home at 2 a.m., slightly under the influence): So you're home at last, are you? You—you—old, big, round, double-hooped, open- topped barrel. Oh—h! Mk. LECTURE (17h sees three or four wives): Thash pretty good. Whash the resh vem got t’ say? POINTS ABOUT TELEPHONE SERVICE. Telephone subscribers in New York have the uso of the best equipped telephone system in the world. Every station has a long distance telephone set and 1s connected to the Central Office by a direct metallic circuit under- ground line, The rates vary with the amount of use. In private residences and stables the use of the service is not great, and consequently the cost fs small, but the con- venience {s immeasurable. The telephone service puts the whole organization of a great city at your fingers’ ends, day and night. Wrex the mach-embraced Hobson was standing at the foot of the Francis Keys monument, recetving the adoration of the throng, an ancient lady with a countenance suggest- ing an animated tomahawk, pressed forward to shake the hand that shook the hattery exploded the Merrimac, Jost at that momenta gust of wind caught Hobson's hat, and in order to retain this possession, the naval constructor lurched forward. Ills movement was entirely misunderstood, and tho old lady, who plainly was Rof potto, reputsed his supposed advances with flne scorn. “Don't ye try to kiss me, ye—ye coxcomb,” she sald, threatentn » the amazed Hobson, “or I'll swat y Since then Hobson Is sald to have opened a little account 4n his private ledger, headed * Unkissed Kis — News-Letter. Tourists pronounce the “ Thorndike,” opposite the Pubite Gardens, Boston, a most comfortable and thoroughly equlpped hotel. Para: See the xplder, my boy, spinning his web, Ts tt hot wonderful? Do you reflect that, try as he may, no man could spin that welt JouNsy: What of It? See me spin this top. Do you Teflect that, try as he may, no spider could spin this top? —stray Stories, HOTEL VENDOME, BOSTON. The Ideal hotel of America for permanent or transtent guests. Boston But. Pleaxe, im, kin you gimme somethin’ to eat—Just the meat the dog left will ¢ Mus, Micoies: We haven't any dog. “Oh, you ain't? Den you git to work an’ cook me a plate o’ ham an’ eggsan’ a cup 0° coffee, "fore 1 kick ye tn the Jor.” —Indiana polis Journat. MODERN CIVILIZATION, Itts observed that nature's supply of food for Infants Is lacking Iu the higher civilization; hut the defictency Is per- fectly supplled by the use of the Gall Borden Eagle Brand Condensed Mik. A_USITRD STATES marshal relates that he was once ordered ti Lan who was selling whiskey to his dusky friends, After he captured the warrior, he gave bim a long lecture on the depravity of his conduct. After listening stolldly, the half-breed sald: “Aln't dere 29 way I can get helped outer this? an help you now but God,” his captoranswered, shook his head sudly, In a hopeless manner, 8 he muttered: “Well, God be good deal like Uucle Sam. Injun never see bin."—Argonant. THE FLORIDA SEASON. There Is every tnd hat Florida and the South will this year, the greatest number of visitors in thelr history. The Southern Railway service will be maintained at the same high standant which has made it so popular, It now operates two through trans dally between New York and Jacksonville and other Florida points, and on January 16th a third train, the “New York and Florida Limited,” will go Into service. ‘This train {s typlcal of the highest Inxury tn travel, It 18 composed of magnificently furnished compart- ments, drawing-room, steeping, dintng, eat’ and observation cars, and will leave New York daily, except Sunday, at 11.50 a.m., arriving at St. Augustl 2 the nextday. Each of these trains afford excellent service to Brunswick and Jekyt Istand by connection at Everett, Ga. also through Pullman drawing-room cars to Aiken, affording excellent facilities for Angnsta, Reservations, iterature, ete., may be had of A. 8. Thweatt, E. P. A., Southern Ratiway, 271 Broadway, The Improved BOSTON GARTER "Is the recognized STANDARD for MEN'S WEAR. Keeps the Stocking Free from Wrinkles DOES NOT BIND JHE CUSHION BUTTON CLASP Hall’s ‘w2" Soe Sioitian Does not tear the stock- ing, and will not unfasten HairRenewer || secidentaly . SOLD EVERYWHERE Restores color to faded or gray hair. ’ Sample Pair} Silk. 50c. Makes hair grow; stops falling of the hair. by Mail} Cotton, 25¢, Cures dandruff; prevents baldness. GEORGE FROST CO] If your druggist cannot supply you, send $1.00 to BOSTON, MASS. soar eee. Hall & Co., Nashua, Nelle CUFFS HELD yadda taprovgt Waobburge HAMILTON HOTEL Mill never tupovesmay be mtantly HAMILTON, BERMUDA. - Sctiiy aaijunted or taken off, ex: OPEN DECEMBER UNTIL MAY. o Byatt ss pois gol trousers: Electric lights and all tmprovements, deren, shoring torae cod cher MEAD & BROOKS, Managers. American Ring Co., New York Ofice, 3 Park Place. : What Is It? Why, the most delicious and exquisite > ~©Natural Champagne Fermented in the bottle. Excels in healthy giving P properties, Ask your dealer for it, The “The New Hammon eine Co, Mane Hammondsport, roughly introduce our nen doliverat ati ited States east of the Rocky Mountains hav- |ng an express office, ‘oneassorted case containing twelve bottles 2s tlre: One pint each of Golden Ace, Bee! Iron and Wine, and jognac Process Brandy, and nine g ofassorted Still Wines, matine I doz. varieties, on receipt Staduress accompanied with $6.00. GOOD FOR LITTLE Fo se and good for their aly peSaleMS 4 Fathers and Mothers. The perfect family Medicine. A pleasant but positive cure for _ Constipation, J indigestion and Headache-—— Aut DRUGGISTS comichooks.cogn