Life — January 12, 1899 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A CIVIL ANSWER, T sits with my feet on my table, If anyone asks me for why, Remarks just as grave as Tm able, My ends are ta view, friend, says I. Yate Record. Lorp BLessiNotox, the husband of the celebrated Coun- tess of Blessington, had a horror of adraught. He was able —Count d’Oresy used to declare—to detect a current of alr cansed by the key deing left crossways In the keyhole of the door, Heand his wife and a youth were one day walking on the hanks of the Thames, The boy, skipping tackward and forward, went several times dangerotsiy close to the edge of the bank. “Tuke care, take care!” cried Lord Blessington, exhibiting @ degree of solicitude most unusual where an- ‘other person was concerned. “For heaven's sake, mind what you are about, boy, or you'll certainly fall tnto the rv After two or three repetitions of his alarm In this fasion for the tad, Lady Blessington, losing patience, sald: “ Oh, let the hoy alone; if he does fall {nto the water he swims like a fish.” “+ Yes, yes," sald his Lordship, tn injured tones; all very well; but what about me? f bail cold driving home In the carrtage with ty “that's, teh my death of Argouaut. Here is a story told by Rudyard Kipling, His father, John Kipling, went to pay & visit to an Indian Rajan who, was about to bring home queen, The elder Kipling bad of the palace, and tts owner showed him the gifts of stuifs and perfumes he had procured for his ¢. The Rajah also seut for his Jewel caskets, and asked Mr. Kipling to assist him in selecting the gems to be Included in the marriage gifts. They were of extraordinary size and value, such gems as are seldom seen except In the East, and to the artist the selection was a pleas- ure, Finally, be lifted a wonderful diamond, one of the choicest gems in the coltection, and sald: * You should send tis. No woman could resist It.” The Rajah looked up, caught ft, and held tt Jealonsly to his breast. Then slowly replacing it inthe casket, he answered: “Nay, such gems are not for women.":-The Bookman. AT the wedding anniversary of a rallway magnate, one of the guests, nodcing a somewhat lonely-looking and rather shabbily attired man tn one corner of the parlor, walked over and sat down near him. “1 was introduced to you,” he sid, “ but I did uot catch your name + My name,” repited the other, “1s Swaddleford.” “Oh, thet you are a relative of our host?” “ Yes,"" rejoined the “ poor relation,” with a grin, “Iam his cousin, five haudred thousand dollars removed.” Youth's Companion, Storr, round and Jolly, Blshop Johnson of the Eplscopal Chareh of Southern Cattforuta 1s a type of the well-nurtared Prelate, He 1s esteemed a wit and a wonder by the familtes whose cordial bospitallty he enjoys. He not only makes but takes Jokes from the humblest of the clergy and latty, without tn the least impairing his Eptscopal authoritz. The Klshop’s hostess in a Southern parish recently re- marked that the reverend father in God looked Letter since he had come into the diocese. * Yea," frankly acknowledged the Bishop, whose eleva- ton to the episcopate was very gratifying to bim. “The alr of the see agrees with me."—News Letter. AN English officer whose ship was stationed off the ‘cag of Ceyton went for a day's shooting, accompanied by # h itive attendant, Coming to a particalarly, inviting river the officer resolved to have a bath, atid asked tue native to ~ him a place where there were no alligators. The natty him to @ pool close to the estuary. The officer thor enjosed his dip, and, while drying himself, he ask gulde why there were never any alllgators in that pool. “ Becanse, sar," promptly replied the Cingalese, plenty ‘fratd of shark.""—argonaut. “Tuk operation of shaving,” sald the thin man, « constant source of wonder to me. Just to think of « mas running a keen instrument over your face and taking nothiog off but the beard!” ‘There was a pause, and then the thick-faced man asket earnestly: jd you kindly tell me the name of your sifted London Fun, A Prrsscrc man who holds a pubile position, wticy Pays him $2 per day, and consequently ts burdened wit cares of state, was found by a friend one Sunday morning s 3 o'clock sitting on the coping of the fence about St. Mauls Cathedral, weeplng aloud “Mello, Bully,” sald his friend; “what's the troatie now?” “Before this war began,” explained Billy between bs sobs, “the national debt was $1,228,000,000, Look where itis now! “Don't cry, Billy," sald his friend, sympathet “with & tax of $1.10 per gallon on whiskey, n0 on accuse you of trying to avold discharging your share of the obligation." —£zchange. For sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. ‘The Inter- national News Company, Bream's Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, AGENTS. EUROPEAN AGENTS—Messra. Brentano, ‘& Avenue dol'Opera, Paris. In the wear and tear of life of the most active of business men, Amer- fcans. there 1s too much \ waste and 7 too little = 5) i upera- Satisfied with the mere physical rest of the body, they renew from day to day the Intense strain upon the nervous system without giving it its required invigoratio: which is done through rest and moderate stimulation. ‘There is need at all times of a pure alco- holie tonic, It follows, therefore, ns a se- quence and axiom, that the purer the stim Ulant, the surer and more beneficial are the effects, ‘To produce a pure tonic, one that can in good faith be recommended, no expense and no art of distillation must be spared, and full time must be alowed for matur: ing and aging. Such a stimulant ts Hunter Baltimore Rye 10 years ure and mellow. Physicans prescribe and ‘recommend it for its purity; clubmen everywhere prefer it for its pure, Fich flavor, and Its effect as a tonical stimu: Every Evening at 8:10. Miss Ada Rehan, Madame Gene. Mats, Wednesday and Saturday at2, Everyone with a pair that the GODIVA is the best Solid Back Hair Brush. Five hundred and sixty pages of text and illustrations, somely bound in green and gold, red and gold, or full black. BounD: VOLUME XXXII. OP. LIFE READY FOR DELIVERY FEBRUARY ist. Price, $4.00. The bound volume of LIFE is an ornament to any library. If you have the numbers comprising this volume, we will exchange them for the bound volume for $2.00. eee eee REEEREEREEE RE ae Hand- The Steady Advance... in amount of sales of OLD CROW RYE goes on, weekly, yearly, It is the quality of te goods, and it is a gratifyiog result, fully verifying oo long cherished belief that the public knows more about the quality of goods than is gee erally supposed. Buy only of reliable desl. ers. H. B. KIRK & @O, Sole Bottlers, N. Y. Agents for the Great Western Champaget. monthly, eee RE fe water free from organic mitt which produces 4 seas, 26 fm seariuy eatte which 2. rheumatiem ad dese. THE SANITARY stil Ric RRR A AR AI