Life — December 22, 1898 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

constant shower of wooden bullets, furnished by tho Spanish War Department. Cuarrer VIII. Ox the American sido wore the representatives of tho Herali, World and Journal, the World, Herald and Jour- nal, or the Journal, Herald and World, according to the sworn testimony of different oye-witnesses, They were assisted by a fow officers belonging to the United States Navy, Commo- dore George Dewey, and sev- eral hundred American sail- ors, including the men be- hind the guns. Tho flagship Olympia led the way, fol- lowed by the Baltimore and Raleigh, and began a game known as the merry- go-round, which consists of circling around the enemy until the bell rings for breakfast. This important function concluded, the game continues until the enemy is vanquished, Cuarren IX. Hrruerto, the Secretary of War had been engaged only in those vast prepa- rations which in the army left nothing to be desired but food, medicine, ammunl- tion and clothes, Absorbed in the work of selecting friends and relatives to guard the lives of our common soldiers, he was aroused by tho news of tho battle of Manila Bay, It now became time for him to act. Someone whom he despised and hated and had a grudge against must be ap- pointed at once to go tothe Philippines. The placo was remote, the climate bad, and tho chance for glory not strongly No one would do 80 well in a crisis like this as General Wesley Merritt. Ho was accordingly sent for. “You will take two hundred men,” said Sceretary Algor, “and proceed to Manila, and keep conquering it until further orders.” “Do you think two hundred men will be enough?” asked Merritt. “ Beware, sir,” warned the Secretary, “of protesting against ordera, or you may be forced to resign.” Genoral Merritt was thoughtful for a moment. “Sir,” said ho, “ what happened to you once is not likely to occur to us now, with McKinley in the Prest- dential chair, I want fifteen thousand men.” “Never! Why, with that number you would suo- coed! It cannot be done!” “Very well,” replied the General, triumphantly; “I shall appeal to the New York Herald.” : ‘The rest is history. (To be continued.) Tom Masson. A Slight Mistake. HE man tn clerical black tiptoed softly into the office and sat down on the edge of a chair, with his hat held in both hands. The mamger of the International Amusement Company regretfully put down the morning Paper at a point where Welterweight Tim had only half fotahed the Oshkosh Boy, and remarked: “ Well, sir?” “[—er—I am the pastor of the Lonesomeburst Chapel,” sald the visitor, “and I called to see you about that enter- talnment which you furnished us last evening.” “Oh, yes, Let's see; we sent you Doddsley with his talk about‘ Through Palestine with Camel and Camera.’ How you like 1t#”* “[—that ls—we thought there must have been some mls- take.” “Mistake! Wasn't the lecture all right? I assure you that Mr. Doddsley never touches a drop.” “Oh. it wasn't that. The lec- ‘turer was all right, and he gave ‘us @ Very interesting and instruc- tive discourse; but the pictures were hardly appropriate, and I'm afraid that spotled the effect. ‘They were views of a prize fight taken in some place called Carson City, and Mr. Doddstey, having his back to the screen, did not notice them until he was almost through.” But before the manager had finished explaining, ® committee from the Knockout Sporting Club was wrecking the furniture of the outer office. Niner | Hh +* Very sell,’ replied the General, triumphantly; shall appeal to the New York Herta”