Life — December 3, 1898 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

«+ Poole’s My Tailor.” Some thoughts suggested by a Tatlor's Bill.—PAID. THE BILL. Oras Pinyt Ss to Lado YER COUNT Tatton. TOWER MUUESTY THE OCEEN TO HENRY POOLE & C° (TELECRAPHIC ADDRESS “CLONE: LONDON 36, 37, 38 & 39,SAVILE ROW Ww. shrunpavs) S898 Gr Ue Uastic bse at liu 6 1 b Lk brecnety a a, 79 Veet Bux ee — big Lhaws $ Paws —~ Brune os Kx wns 5h Macomb &F. 3 THE THOUGHTS. Ne “Poole's my tailor.” Poote! You know! Who makes the Prince of Wales’s things, He's tailor (as his billheads show) To half the emperors and kings. An introduction is required At Poole’s, before they'll take your trade, No common people are desired, However promptly bills are paid. Yet my bill shows, ’mong other things, “ Discount (for cash) fifteen per cent.” Oh! Can it be that, sometimes, kings Are—shall we call it negligent "? Some several things about this bill “LIFE DE DERN POOL JURY SAYS HE AIN'T GUILTY!" Lead me to ponder and to muse; Such names—the Emperor of Brazil, “The Emperor of the French "—they use, Though once those names great lustre shed, Deposed, deceased, forgot are they. And Poole, himself, I'm told is dead, But Ais name lives and holds its sway. _ And so ask: “ What's ina name?” The answer on this bill appears: If you would have undying fame, Wield, not the sceptre, but the shears, Some other things about this bill Lead me to wonder and to guess. What seck ye in your tailor? Skill?— But why indulge this foolishness? PooLe 18 My TarLorn!! And I beg To gloat on it for all t's worth, Tho tape that told my length of leg Perbaps has told the Prince's girth. Perhaps the fron that, passing o'er ‘These garments, made them look so nico, Had pressed the coat his Highness wore When Langtry chilled his back with ice. Theso great folks don’t seem 80 remote, As all these thoughts occur to m With Poole’s name right inside one’s coat, One feels quite close to royalty. And lots of fellows, I surmise, Feel just that way. And I'm afraid It’s not the clothes that Poole’s supplics, But the dear Prince, that draws the trade! For I have shown my suit to Reiss (My tailor—er—that used to be). He wants my trade, but yet agrees That “ Poole” links one to royalty. And 60, while it’s against his rules (He mend mistakes of others? “ Nit!”), Btill, just to handle goods from Poole’s, He'll try to make the d—d things fit. Charles Hoyt, LOST GLORY. “aM DEY GOIN’ TER MAKE YER PAP GIT IN DE CHAIR AT SING SINO,