Life — November 24, 1898 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

StANKIWS. a 4 THE PHILOSOPHER “WHAT'S THE USE O° BEIN’ RICH? YER CAN ONLY DRINK AND SMOKE JE} 80 MUCH, ANYWAY, BUT IF YER COULD BE FOUR OR FIVE PELLERS AT ONCE, WHY, THEKY'D BE SOME PON IN BEIN' RICH, AND I'D WORK PUM IT.” A Sudden Change. ICHMOND: How did you catch such a severe cold? Bronxporoven; Our janitor got drunk and allowed the temperature to rise to fifty-four degrees, The sudden change was too much for me, OVERHEARD IN THE PASTURE. The Old Army Mule: AY, JACK, GIVE HE A QUARTER; 1 WISH TO PCRCOASE GONE PENS, INK AND PAPER. I FIND I'M ABUUT TUE ONLY VETERAN Wn er WRITTEN A WAR ARTICLE, AND 1 “BUT WHAT BENEFIT DO I DERIVE FROM THIS? “ol, YOU'LL BE THE ONLY ONE THAT READS IT. Filtered Information. TD hesayany- thing about me?” “Ho ?— well, yes, t he did mention you?” “What 'd ho say?" “He spoke of your having been there.” “ How 'd he know it?” “Ob, he know.” “Ob, come! What ‘d he say?” NoT MUCH SHOW FOR MAUD MULLER THESE Days. “Shall I really tell you, Rob ?”” “ Go on ; do go on!” “Oh, my! Well, dear Rob, he came in just after you went out, and there was a cigar stump on the table and cigar ashes on the floor, and he said, ‘Great Heavens, Louisa, has that young creature been hero again? My, he'd smoke in church! It scoms to be the rule with all these modern boys to smoke wherever there's no sign up. Why don’t you teach bim manners ?’” “Was that all?” “Almost all, dear; but ho did say that if you succeeded in life you'd grow up to bo one of those fat little men who ride down Fifth Avenuv in victorias, with thelr wives, and emoking cigara.” “and what did you tell him, Louisa?” “I didn’t tell him, dear, Hp did tho talking.” Their Path in Life. “ OMEN,” ho said, “are 80 quick- witted, And take such forward views, Will they eventually be fitted For walking in our shoes? “Tho question really makes mo dizzy.” A friend bis musing checks— “Well, yes—they might, if thoy wero not busy Walking on our necks.” Madeline 8, Bridges.