Life — October 13, 1898 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ALA MODE, I'm musing on the style, Mary, Of the frock you wore last night; I thought no modiste’s gulle, Mary, Could make you such a fright. I dare not speak my mind, Mary, On your corsage or your skirt, ‘The truth ts oft unkind, Mary, And your feelings might be burt. But yet | would suggest, Mary, Before | take to drink, ‘That the plume upon your crest, Mary, Should not be red and pink. The style which I indict, Mary, Recherché is, | know, And s0's the ft, a sight, Mary, That multipties my woe. Tiong to be at rest, Mary, To ease my eyes awhile, From the colors on your breast, Mary, And your most atrocious style ! —Moonshine, Wet1," Morris Cleburn sald, as he entered the door of bis home one day, “I can't get work. A man has nochance these days. I was talkin’ {t over with Hill Jest now, an’ he gays it’s the same with him, No Job nowhere!” Mrs. Cleburn looked up from her troning. + I find plenty to do,” she sald, qutetly. “Oh, yes, you women hev things all your own way, any- how. As Hill nez—* + Where did you see him—tn the saloon t”? Mr, Cleburn was annoyed. “Why, yea. I Jest dropped tn there as I was passin’ to T SEIS§RS AT NVLLy speak toa man that owed me, There wasn’t nobarm In that, Was there? No. Did he pay you” + Yes, of course he did.” “ Where Is the money?” “Money? Ob, yes. I—I've got tt here In—” Mr. Cleburn made a fine show of searching tn his pockets and then exclaimed: “Pye been robbed! I had that money right here when—* Mra. Cleburn looked up resignedly. beat you went up to the bar to settle the labor problem with Hill? Well, don’t 100k for {t. The children and I can go without supper another night, 1 guess, Where are you going?” Mr. Cleburn was starting toward the door. in’? he asked, more in sorrow than In anger. “I'm goln’ where I can have some peace. There don't seem to be any of It here. ‘A pleasant fireside,’ as Hill says, ‘ts the greatest blessin’ a workin’man can know.’ But I batn't got one. I hain't got one!” He struck the door, as he had seen the play actor strike the flimsy canvas on the stage, and went back to the saloon. And Mary Cleburn amiled, as women do, above dead hope, dead love, aud dead respect—and went on with her troning. : —Chicago Journal, Tue oldest love letter tn the world Is in the British Mu- seum. It ts a proposal for the had of an Egyptian princess, and was made three thousand five hundred years ago. It ts 1m the form of an inscribed brick. Perhaps it la as well that we adhere to notepaper. It would be decidedly awkward otherwise. Fancy having trouble with your sweetheart, and recelv- Ing your love letters plumb in the face. If they were bricks it would be awkward, not to say unpleasant. Then again it would be bad for the novelists and dramatists. The heroine would never be able to tear the faithless swain's letter. It couldn't be done with bricks. Again, imagines breach of promise suit. The love beteks brought up to the courts in an open van would be liable » excite derision, One or two might drop off and the thread of the case would be lost, and married ladies would have s deadly weapon within thelr reach. They could use the lore letters as firebricks, and on winter evenings,- after a com. forta te family row, the husband would sce his twenty-year. old love phrases glowing bebind the fire. Then he would go out and kick himself, and order gas stoves. So on the whole We are better off as regards the medium for making asses ot ourselves than were the anclents.—Moonshine, Tne governess was giving little Tommy a grammar les son the other day. “An abstract noun,” she sald, “ts the name of something which you can think of but not touch Can you give me an example?” Tommy: A red-hot poker.—Tit-Bits, Mn. Ticks: Adam was certainly in great luck. Miss Wicks: How was that? “Why, when he got a wife he only had to give up ath; and now it takes all the backbone a man has Just to think of getting married."—Rozbury Gazette. ‘Tue reverend lecturer paused. “ While we are glorytag over this signal triumph of our arms in the complete destruction of the haughty Spantards’ fleet,” he feeling’ sald, “let us not forget that It was a greater power than that of Schley or Sampson that effected the enemy's overthrow.” Aman tn the back part of the room hastily arose.“ You are right, brother,” he exultantly cried, “It was the grand olf Oregon!” And the demorallzed meeting soon after adjourned.—Cleveland Plain Deater. For salo by all Newsdealers tn Great Britain, The national News Company, Bream's Building, Chancery London, E. C., England, AGENTS. Inter- Lane, EUROPEAN AG T3—Messre. Bi 0, & Avenue de l’Opers ree Pears’ Whoever wants _ soft hands, smooth hands,white hands, or a clear complex- ion, he and she can have both: that is, if the skin is naturally transparent; un- less occupation prevents. The color you want to avoid comes probably nei- ther of nature or work, but of habit. Either you do not wash ef- fectually, or you wash too ef- fectually; you do not get the skin open and clean, or you hurt it. Remedy— Use Pears’ Soap, no matter how much; buta little is enough if you use it often. An sorts ot stores sell it, especially druggistes . ali sorts of people use it. beats two It’sinthe nameifhed Three of aKind beat two palrs, but one pair of Elastic in places for comfort; Non-elastic in places for durability Ask your furnisher for the “Endwell; 14 boc. for a sample pair postpatd, Sacaper model, ee Ree Poe te. tastener free, for, CHESTER SUSPENDER CO. 3 Decatur Ave., Roxbury Crossing, Mass. Every Evening at 8:10. i) A RUNAWAY GIRL. DALY | ta Rena AR GHEE, ‘on Embroidery. Complete pairs of any other make, @| 100 illustrations, ” raduated” cordeads— in centrepieces, tea-clot broidery.’ No. 132 Union Street, Embroidery Lessons with Colored Studies tor 1899 lan unabridged dictionary to one bo Just published. Latest and Most Complete Book Can't read. structions for be- inners by expert embroiderers.. ISnew, full-page ‘olored Plates, not to be found in any other book. Tells all about stamped linens, needles and color numbers of silk required; all the popular stitches, old and new ; newest designs ete, Cross-stitch" and the “American Flag Mailed for 10c. in stamps. THE BRAINERD & ARMSTRONG CO, New London, Conn. There are other railroads, but if yor can get a ticket via the New Yort| Central you know you will have notoaly the best service and make the fastest tine, but when you reach your journey’sed lyou will find yourself in the centre of the city to which you travel, and havisg| passed over the most comfortable route you will vow never to go by any other. ‘A word to the wise is better tha Martin Fanquaar Turrer For_@ copy of “The Luxury of Modern way Travel, send two 2-cent stamps to H. Dantels, General Passenger Agent, Central Station, New York. Chapters on in Em- ‘Address ur furnisher’s joes not Keep Endwell Braces.” evr LIFE. VOL. 31 now ready. Bound in Maroon and Gold, Green and Gold, Full Black. PRICE, 824.00. If Copies are returned an allowance of $2.00 is made Comicbooks.com