Life — September 22, 1898 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

APPROPRIATE, And still the dread bactili dare The country’s strength to storm! ‘Tis pity they're too small to Wear The Spantard uniform. —Washington Star. Hovsrnotner (sharply): What do you want? BuwaLan (sarcastically): The tuitiative and referendum, of course.—Petroit Journal, A PARKOT 01 by an Arch Street physician gave signs of po st human intelligence” the other night. A party of young folks were on the lawn and were spending an hourin guessing rh Finally a young lady aske “Why does a dog turn around twice before be ne Bet ybody could answer the parrot croaked : “One good turn deserves another.”—Phtladetphia Call. RIGID RULES ENFORCED Veterinartes of the N. Y, Condensed Milk Company exam- tne cows supplying milk for the Gat! Borden Eagle Brand Condensed Milk, to guard against any contamination, Send for“ Infant Health.” tnt very mother. sald Mr. Dooley, “dam thin Cublans. “If Vd back up th’ wagon tn front tv th’ Vd say to Gin'ral Garshy, Pd say, want you,’ ant hav’ thim all down at th’ station an’ dacently booked be th’ desk-sergeant befure th’ fall ty night. Th’ tinpydince tv them!" “What have they heen doin’? Mr, Hennessy asked. * Fallin’ to undherstand our etvilization,” sald Mr. Doole: Ye see, It was this way, This Is the way tt was. Gin'ral rehy with wan handherd thousan’ men’s been fightin’ bravely fr two years f'r to Hberyate Cubla, Pir two years he’s been marchin’ his sivinty-five thousan’ men up an’ down ‘th’ island desthroyiu’ th’ baughty Spanyard be th’ milly \. Whin war was declared he offered his own sarvice an’ th’ sarvices iv’ bis ar-rmy ty fifty thousan’ men to th’ United States, an’ while waitin’ fr slups to arrive he marched at th’ head fv hls tin thonsan’ men down to Sandago de Cubs an’ captured a cigar facthry, which they soon rajooced to smokin’ ruins. They was holdin’ this position —Gin'ral jarshy an’ his gallant wan thousan’ men—whin Gln'ral Shafter arrived. Gin’ral Garahy tmmedjitly offered th’ sar- vices tv himself an’ his two hundherd men f'r th’ capture tv Sandago, an’ whin Gin'ral Shafter arrived there was Gin'ral rxhy with his gallant band iv fifty Cubtans r-ready to eat ata minyit’s notice. Gin'ral Shafter 1s a big, coorse, two-flsted man frm Mitchigan, an’ whin he see Gin'ral Garshy an’ his twinty- five gallant followers, ‘Front,’ says he. ‘This way,’ he says, ‘step lively,’ he says, ‘an’ move some tv these things,’ he says. ‘Sir," says Gin'ral Garshy, ‘d'ye take me fr a dhray?? he says, ‘I'masojer,’ he says, ‘not a baggage car," he xays, ‘I'ma Cultan pathrite, an’ I'd lay down me life an‘ th’ lives iviv'ry wan Iv th’ eighteen brave men tv me devoted army," be says, ‘bat I'll be dam’d if | carry a thrunk,' he saya. ‘TL fight whiniver'tis cool,’ he says, ‘an’ they ain't wan iv these twelve men here that wudden t follow me to bell If they was ‘awake at th’ time,’ he says; *but," he says, “If 1t was wurruk we were lookin’ fr we cud have found It long ago," he saya. ‘They'se « lot tv ft tn this country that nobody's usin’,* he says. ‘What we want,’ he says, ‘1s freedom,’ he says, ‘an? If ye think we have been tn th* woods dodgin th’ savage corry- spondint fr two year,’ be says, ‘fr th’ sake tv r-rushin’ yer laundhry home,’ he says, * "tis no wondher," he says, * that th? rroada frm Marinette to Kalamazoo 1s paved with goold bricks bought be th’ people lv yer native State, he says, “So Shafter had to carry his own thrunk, an* well It was fr him that {t wasn't Gin'ral Miles, th’ weather bein’ hot. Ap was mad clear through, an‘ whin he took hold iv Sandago an’ was sendin outinvitations, he scratched Garshy. took his gallant band tv six back to th’ woods an’ there three 1v thim ar-re now, ar-rmed with forty rounds tv canned lobster un’ ready to r-raysist to th’ death.’ —Chicago Journal, “THAT was a good old motto,” sald the statesman who was considering the Puilippine question; “+ Be sure you're right and then go ahead “Yes,” replied the friend; ‘It's a safe guide for every "tagree with you there. There are circumstances where It must be revised to make {t fit. When you find your- self in a position where you can't be absolutely sure my motto 1s, ‘ Be sure you're wrong before you back out.’ —Washington Siar, "Prince of Wales's Favorite Wine, de LOSSY-HOLDEN CHAMPAGNE, Dressing The best Shoe Dressing in the world The genuine 1s made only by Robert H. Foerderer, Philadelphia, manu- ¢ facturer of the famous Vicl KID Ask your dealer for Vicl Leather Dressing, and be sure the trade- mark with the name of the maker, is on each box or bottle. Imita- 8 tions may ruin your shoes. 3 A book about buying, wearing and caring for shoes, mailed free. Address pees HOBENT H. FUEKDERER, Philade., Pa. To California and Back 176 pp., 176 illustra- tions, 5 cents, The Mok! Snake Dance 0 pp... 64 ilustra- tions, 8 cents, Grand Canon of Colo- ‘rado River. $2 pp.. 15 illustrations. 2cts. New _Mextco_Health Resorts. 80 pp., 31 illustrations, 2 cts. Arizona Health Re- sorte, 72 pp., 18 illus. trations, 2 cts. Malled free Las Vegas Hot Springs ‘and Vicinity, 4 pp., Jor postage named. SN iustrations, 2¢ts, They tell the story of wonderful sights and scenes, and special resorts for tourists and hameseekers in the Great est, They are published by the Santa Fe Route, are literary and artistic, and will make you better acquainted with the attractions of your own land, C. A. HIGGINS, AG.P.A.A.T.& 8.F.R" Flag, CHICAGO: 1848 Great Northern Bldg. More Toothache. Dentifrices BENEDICTINS ‘For the Teeth. BENEDICTINS’ DRNTIFRICES, 24 & 26 White St., N.Y. AMERICAN TRAVELER. “T would not have believed that there could be such luxury in a thousand-mile journey as I found on the New York Central, between New York and Chicago,” said a distinguished American who had spent the past fifteen years abroad. ‘‘There is nothing to equal it in all Europe.” For «copy of “The Luxury of Modern Ratlway Travel,” xend two 2-ceut stamps to George I. Daniela, General Passenger Agent, Grand Cen- tral Station, New York. 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