Life — August 25, 1898 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ACCORDING TO SCIENCE. There Is a man tn our town (Ilis name my memory siips) Who kissed ten thousand microbes OW bis sweetheart’s ruby lips. And when he found what be had done, With all bis might and matn He rushed up there another night And kissed them on again. = —Up-to-Date, Visitor (who has been regaled with terrible tales of shipwreck): But you don't mean to say you lose visitors bere occastonally ; they generally washes up after a tide “Wnex a man ts angry he tells you what he thinks of «Yes, and when a woman ts angry she tells yon what she thinks of you, and what eversbody else thinks of yo Chicago Record. DRILL SERGEANT: movement in "bout facet Recnerr: Whin the command ts given yez advance the face three Inches to the rear, “Right yez are, If all the min was the we'd soon have the best driite r, then, Dyte, what is the f4-rs-t ikes of ye, npany on the grounds, —freman (Mont) Chronicle, BEST BECAUSE NATURAL, The market Is flooded with so-called baby foods. Hence astmites that scientifically prepared ts the best when the natural supply falls. Gall Bor Brand Condensed Milk is the best infant food. Expe- pw's talk jen Eagle Mn. FowLen: Tommy, my son, do you know that tt gives me as much pul as it does you when [punish you? Tommy: Well, there’s some satisfaction In that, anyhow. =Tit-Bits, Finst Dostestic : meron, that, you live with, over on the other side of the street. Secoxp Dowestic : Gractous! | hope she won't see me. It will he Just like ber to go and get a bonnet like mine. Boston Transcript. Ole, the password ts * Fish.” ay bane one flskerman myself bear" Ww, remember tn a loud tone of voice that his lesson well, — Bozeman (Mont.) Chronicte. showed that he ki Tue: fashionable physician was going away fora week or 80, and bis less fashlonable professional brother bad agreed to look after his practice during thas time, “1 suppose,” sald the one wh among the more lowly, wrong, and there are tnd of me, 1 will be perfe exercise “Oh, dear, no,” reptied the other, “That's not at all the correct thing now. The IMcycle Is getting so common, you know, I find It necessary now to advise my fashionable patients to give up the bicycle and devote themselves to golf.” —Chicago Post. practice had been that where there ts really nothing fons that something Is expected Hy safe ln prescribing a little bicycle IN a small town in which the bicycle craze was raging, & woman Was talking with the only ¢ and, commenting ‘on the number of wheels to be seen on the streets daily, observed: *You must he making your fortune at this rate, If only half the machines ridden by the towuspeople come from you.” “Well, mum, I don’t know so much about that,” was the You see, I have to sell a good many of my machines Kathleen Mavourneen’ principle. ‘Kathleen Mavourneen’ principle!” cried the mystified fair one. * What ts thatt” “Why, payment on the hire system. Don‘tyou know the song,mum? ‘It may be for years, and it may be forever.’ Good-morning, mum."—Pearson'’s Weekly. LivtLe Cha! : Father, what 1s the between firmness and obstinacy? FaTwER: Merely a matter of sex, my son.—Tit-Bits. difference Prince of Wales's Favorite Wine, de LOSSY-HOLDEN CHAMPAGNE. ABBOTTS orvcivas Dressing The best Shoe Dressing in the world The genuine 1s made only by Robert GH. Foerderer, Philadelphia, manu- facturer of the famous VICI KID Ask your dealer for Vici Leather Dressing, and be sure the trade- mark with the name of the maker, is on each box or bottle. Imita- tions may ruin your shoes. ‘A book about buying, wearing and caring for Address shoes, mailed f DERER, Philade, Pa, <j ROBERT Ht. ¢] ‘¢] e] ‘<j 7] « ‘<j ¢] <j <j ‘<j <] <j ej ‘<] ‘¢] 4 $ ¢] <] ¢] RUINART. Several members of a New York Club, describing a recent trip to Chicago on one of the New York Central’s twenty-four hour trains, ex press the opinion that this service fur- nished all the accommodations of a first-class club, with the added advan. tage of the finest landscapes in the country, and an opportunity for the practical study of history and geography that is unsurpassed. peel ite, huntpatt on Feselgt ofa tro: cent stamp, by George H. Daniels, General Passenger Agent, Grand Central Station. New York. PLEASE CANDY CATHARTIC A New Novel by J. A. MITCHELL, Editor of LIFE. GLORIA VICTIS I12Qmo. 81.26. “Tt is worth reading, and stimulating both to the aspirations and the sympathies.""— Pioneer Press, St. Paul. **Gloria Victis’ is one of those books we read, lay down and think about, and discuss, if possible, with another who has read it.” —Chronicle, Binghamton, N. Y. “J. A. Mitchell, the editor of Lire, has a sprightly style and a play of fancy that make his writiugs always entertaining; and his ‘Amos Judd’ and ‘That First Affair’ pleased many readers, Mr. Mitchell's new story, ‘ Gloria Victis,’is a much more ambitious work than those stories. and will at once give him rank among our contributors to fiction as a writer of daring yet deli- cate imagination.”— Evening Bulletin, Philadelphia. “It is a clever book; every reader will find it entertaining; many will dis- cover in it the fulfillment of a serious literary motiv: — Philadelphia Press. “It begins well. but wanders from the path of interest, and steadily in- creases in idiocy afterthe fourth chapter. In addition to its general inanity, the story is sloppily written, and one wonders how such a firm as the Scribners ever published it.”— San Francisco Call. CHARLES SCRIBNER’S SONS, 153-157 Fifth Ave, N. Y. Ccomicbooks.com