Life — August 18, 1898 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“LERE® 135 ised my publishers that I would deliver to them at sundown, in good order, a Highland story with a superfine quality of dialect, and I have Just two hours todo itin. Thanks for calling, and tell your people that the Spanish-American war wou't hurt the katlyarders a ittle bit, as they OBL, HE names of the winners in the Short Story Contest will be announced in the next issue, As already stated, a large proportion of the contestants failed to enclose with their manuscripts'the necessary returh postage. These manuscripts are now held in this office, and upon the receipt of stamps before September Ist they will be returned to the authors. MAMMAL “WELL, WHAT 18 IT Now??? 1 HAVE THE TooTHACHE 1! more optimistic. Our plant was never in better working order; we bave a public that Is beginning to understand oar gibberish; a public that thinks It likes It, and, as the dialect Ls our chief claim to recognition, we shall continue to work If for all itis worth, as you say In the States.” I stpped gingerly at the raw Scotch and sald: “But, Mr. McCrockett, you do not grasp my meaning fully. Itisnot that the Americans like Scotch less, but the warmore. They wanta war flavor to everything. That is why a prominent pubilsher asked Le Gallienne to rewrite Dickens, and lay all the scenes in Cuba, Porto Rico and the Philippines. It's war or nothing with Americans to-day.” The canny Scotchman filled oar glasses. again. Then he winked softly. «It will be Just as easy to enlist the good people of Thrumstochty and send them to the American front. Kate Carnegie ts eminently fitted to be a Red Cross nurse. Never fear, man. Kailyard Mterature Is a growth that we ts not to be killed by a war. It a war story appeals to your people—and you «ay It does—why, a war story im- Pregnated with bot Scotch dialect. will be a winner from the word go, as you say tn the States. “We've got to the point Where we can turn ont a first-class novel in whatever time may be demanded, and We'll simply set our clerks to work at manufacturing war color by the keg in our colored goods department, and the result will be a book that will make ‘The Sticket Minister’ or ‘The Bonnte Brier Bush? look like thirty cents, aa you say in the States, Now you really must excuse me, as I prom- MAJOR.GENERAL WILLIAM R. SHAFTER, comicbooks.com