Life — August 18, 1898 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LITRE 133 This new species of human creature has not hitherto attracted much attention, except at the stage entrances of theatres and music halls; but science, which is very comprehensive in its reach, has now got its cagle eye on the Clubman, and proposes to differentiate and classify him, An expedition bas been scnt out by the Smithsonian Institute, armed with stickpins and flynets, which will invade New York at an carly period with a view of sccuring some good specimens of the genus, which will be stuffed and articulated for the benefit of science and future generations, Joseph Smith. ISMARCE’S death leaves the world somewhat short, for the time Leing, of grand old men. Vope Leo Is left; a re- markable man, to be sure, and very old, but not in a condition of health to encourage us to lean much weighton him, If there are great men left In the world, however, the lack of age Is a want that will constantly tend to correct itself. Very great met, as arule, are made of lasting materials, and are apt to Teach advanced age. The typical grand old man Is one who has shown great ability tn bigh station, tas borne heavy re- sponsibilities, and has maintained his energy and mental strength until very late In life. Lord Salisbury might make a fairly efficteut grand old man, but be ts out of health already, Considering the size of the vacancy, It would scem expedient for Mr. Cleveland to take care of himself and regard the laws of health. A Thoughtful Fiance. ye Suppose I teach you to play cards now, and then you'll know all about it after we're married, “REGINALD, I AIN'T REGISTERIN' ER KICK ABOUT YER BUM WAGGIN, Manig: Won't that be lovely! What game will ER DE OLD SKATE OP A GOAT YE'VE RUNG IN FI you teach me? TINK YER MIGHT'VE REMOVED DE NAILS PRUM EAT AFORE YER ASKED “Solitaire.” ER LOIDY FER A DRIVE! . - — ————_ LARA: Are you engaged to Douglas for good? fully bard time trying to acclimate them, MAN is known by the Gentrupe: It looks so. I don’t think he'll When he is removed from carth by an Photographs he keeps, ever be able to marry me. overdose of alcohol, or some benevolent epidemic, he dies happy in the knowl- édge that an unterrified press will record him as a Clubman, and will recite the many clubs he belonged to, And that is fame. His days are passed in slumber, or in gazing thoughtfully from club windows in close and masticatory communion with a king-stick, His nights are divided between music halls, the Waldorf, and other dance halls; or at the club smok- ing-room, absorbing nicotine, conversa- tion and hot Scotch. * * . HE Clubman seldom sees the source of his supplies and the author of his being: their business hours are somewhat different. There comes a time when they do mect—in collision; then the apoplectic bull throws a fit, and the golden calf he worships is borne away to a jagcure. His absence causes acute anguish in the coulieses, and remarks—tbat are aio one von nena wlacR TH not acute—in the clubrooms. “CERTAINLY, 1F "—