Life — August 4, 1898 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Plaint of the Weathercock. ‘OU call mo fickle weathereock ; Say [ blow North, South, East, and West; You call me fickle weathercock, You say I love none best. But Tam faithful weathercock ; The winds aro never still; To all a faithful weathercock, I follow their sweet will. Martha Gilbert Dickinson, An Unknown Quantity. OCHELLE: How much did wheel cost you, old man? Parke: I don’t know; my doctor hasn’t sent in his bill yet. that One Proof. se RUE happiness does not depend upon externals,” “That’s so. Uglimug is as happy as a lark since Miss Gargoyle accepted him.” > CENE: Two small boys preparing to attack a very stout man. Micky: Hit him on the solar plexus, Chimmie. You can’t miss it. TROVING TO YOU, GENTLEMEN, THAT SM?04P,C 18 AN EXPLOSIVE.” HE prospect of Cuba’s falling into our hands is first-rate. The pros- pect of its getting off our bands again is not good at all, The prospect of Gen- eral Blanco’s having a pleasant summer is not good, either. He will have no fighting at present, not much food, and no fun, Our armies evidently do not mean to meddle with him until they get good and ready, and that won't be until October, at the nearest. It makes a bad outlook for General Blanco. Oh, yes; very. The possession of Santiago is a relief to the American people. Having that port, and all eastern Cuba, we can rush in all the supplies we care to spare, feed Cubans, dig drains, repair railroads, and experiment with the capacity of the Cubans for self-government. That ex- periment will be highly interesting, and until it promises much better results than at present it will continue. With Gen- eral Blanco at Havana there must. be very many of the individual Spaniards who, by their thievery and rapacity, are responsible for the protraction of the Cuban insurrection, and thereby for the present war. For some time to come, no matter how scarce other food may be, they will be abundantly served with food for thought. Here's wishing them profitable medi- tations, and here's hoping that in due season they may think better of fighting at all, and avail themselves gratefully of the chance that may be offered them to get back to Spain with whole skins and free of expense, Ignorance. V HAT is commonly called igno- rance is really a kind of men- dacity, which assumes that a thing is the opposite from what it actually is. It would not be strictly true, there- fore, to state that the Powers of Europe have been ignorant of the United States Navy. IRgnorance is a condition of not knowing, but the main trouble with the Powers was that they knew too much. Spain knew, when the Maine was blown up, that it was due to a lack of dis- cipline, to some defective organ- ism, which was easily accounted for when applied to the American sf France and Germany both knew we had ships, but, Bah! and Himmel! they were overloaded with armament and ineffective in actual warfare. England had seen our vessels and admired them, but our system of naval schooling was wrong, and several British Admirals were good enough to say that cer- tain things remained to. be seen. To know too much is worse than not knowing what it is unpleasant to be forced to learn, Where ignorance is not bliss, it is folly not to be wise. LAIR: What's the use of stealing cake and then saying your praye: Dotru: I'm praying that you won't want any. S EMITIC Prisoner before Police Justice : Wha ** Wansenpulver.” “What's your Christian name?” 't got no Christian name.” your name? EL WILLIAM J. BRYAN is moving southward with his regiment of invinctbles, and ft ts commonly supposed that he will succeed in capturing Havana before the government can interfere. The startling news of the noble Colonel's stealthy approach ts cabled hourly to Madrid, and the shadow of a great coming dis- aster ts even now cast upon the Spanish throne. After Havana, Spain itself will be within the Colonel's grasp, and It Is rumored that he ts em- ploying three tutors a day to teach him the Span- ish language, that he may be able, In the streets of Cadiz, to talk up votes for the coming Presiden- tial election.