Life, 1898-06-23 · page 12 of 20
Life — June 23, 1898 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Life Magazine Page 528 This page contains satirical commentary on American military preparedness, likely from the early 1900s. **"Encouraging"** section mocks a conductor reassuring a woman about naval readiness for potential conflicts with Spain and possible invasions of Canada or Siberia. The satire critiques overconfident military planning. **"Womanopsis"** is a poem about women's complex nature—comparing them to marble and sharp speech, yet capable of gentle deception. **"Too Much"** presents a brief marital joke about age differences at marriage. The large cartoon depicts a military officer amid explosions and chaos, illustrating incompetence or disaster, with the caption "THERE WERE HEROES IN THOSE DAYS." This appears to sarcastically contrast romanticized historical military heroism with contemporary military bungling or foolishness.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
NCOURAGING. Youne Man (on train): Say, conductor, a woman asked me to take care of this baby for a moment, saying she would be right back, and now they tell me she got off at the last station. O-oh, what shall I do? Coxpuctor: Brace up, young fellow, and don’t let it worry you. Any woman who Would do a thing like that isn’t worth bothering about, Womanopsis. ‘0 him who, in the love of Woman, holds Communion with hor visible forms, she speaks A various languago; for his gayer hours She has the band of 1 silo And ice-cream hunger; and she glides Into his pocketbook with a mild And gentle nerve that steals away His ducats ore he is aware, But, v Of tho last, bitter dollar come 4 And make one shudder and grow sick at heart, Her soul is marble and her speech as sharp Asa Toledo (Ohio) blade, Then go not with ber, but go forth, go Unto thine own infernal resting-place. Stay not, lest she appeal to “ Father,” Who was not killed by that historic blow, Though For, when he kicks, thou wilt approach the grave Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch About him, and steps upon a tack. Tom Hall. ness, anc en thoughts ast pst USBAND: That man you've invited here used to kiss you before we ied, did you. “But I've gotten over it, and he hasn't.” WHAT WILL THE CROP BE? O1 we are not going to be caught this way aguin. After we have finished with Spain, and nailed General Weyler’s hide to the barn door, we are going to make due preparations for future even! Besides contract supplemen we must lay in war suppli nt to have in moth- proof storage at least a hundred thousand fur suits, in case we should need to in- vade Canada or Sibcria, or should havea dispute with Sweden about priority of discovery at the North Pole. And we shall need an immense supply of linen dusters and breech-clouts for possible operations in future in the Philippines ing for a taf Cul and Indies, and plenty of temperate zone clothing iu case we clash with Europeans. Those stories of our men sweltering in woolen clothes at Tampa have not been good reading. We don't want that to happen again. If we are liable to inter- vene anywhere between Cape Horn and the Yukon River, we must at least keep proper uniforms in stock, Too Much. 6 7 DON’T think they should marry, pre is such a disparity between pst THERE WERE HEROES IN THOSE DAYS 2AlS0. comicbooks.com