Life — May 19, 1898 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST. The new “protected cruiser" wide, Till a man-of-war espied ber and punched holes into ber cruised upon the ocean And the man-of-war continued for a little while to float, Till driven to the bottom by a new torpedo-boat. Then while the foe softly laughed, Torpedo-boat destroyers came and sunk the other craft, triumphant rubbed his hands and And as the victor dashed about, and murk, Destroyers of torpedo-boat destroyers did their work. through battle’s smoke Whereat into the action something new in vessels came— “ Destroyer of destroyers of destroyers” was its name. Which brings the matter down to dat no doubt, Until some ten times wrecker of destroyers ventures out. —Exchange. where it will rest, able T. Reed, Speaker, reclined in a hotel er-shop chair the other afternoon, looking like an ned Buddha far plunged in contemplation of the | tations of the infinite. Inscrutability gleamed steadily from his penetrating little eyes. He seemed to reck not that the burly, selfish world was a-move. Ho gazed with @ continuously focused gaze upon the knob of the barber- shop door—whether attempting to hypnotize himself or to hypnotize the knob, who knows?—and he spake no word to the grinning black barber with teeth like peeled almonds, who swept the scissors with zephyr touch through the colorless wisp of hair that faintly fringes the after-part of the great man’s skull. The disinclination of the Honorable T. Reed to be discursive was not according to the barber's ideas of things. He attempted to draw the great man out, perhaps in order to bequeath a legacy of epigrams to posterity. The great man only grunted monosyllabic replies, and resumed his reverie. Then the barber decided to switch the conversation to the subject of Mr. Reed’s hirsute peculiarities, “ Yo" haiuh’s sut’nly thinnin’ out a heap, suh,” said he. “Um—m," said Mr. Reed it 0° tonic do it whole lot o* good, sub." “Bin bald on de top o' yo" head long, suh?* Mr. Reed did not remove his gaze from the doorknob as he drawled: “ Tcame into the world that way. Then I had an inter- val of comparative hirsute luxuriance, but it was not enduring. Ihave long since emerged from the grief of the deprivation, It no longer afflicts me. Do not permit itto weigh upon you.” The black barber studied over this for awhile, appar- ently without fully apprehending its meaning. however. “ Yo" haiuh's look some bettuh, sir, ef yo" kep’ it long inde back Inike,” he said, after a few moments of silence. The Honorable T. Reed removed bis gaze from the Newadealers in Great Britat mpany, Bream’s Building, Cl AL MPO See DRTED HIGHEST IN PRICE FINESTIN QUALITY 2sc. a Bundle. - 10 in Bundle. ‘Trial Package in Pouch by mail for ase. H. ELLIS & CO., Baltimore, Md. ‘Tue American Tosacco Co,, Successor. ANNOUNCEMENT ! On and after May 16th we shall resume the sale of back numbers of LIFE. The prices will be 25 cents each for recent issues and 5o cents each for those that have been published more than six months at the time the order is received, doorknob, fastened it upon the ceiling, cleared and spoke again: “Let me assure you, my tonsorial friend,” said te “that the appearance of my hair,as I have been acces tomed to wearing it, is very satisfactory to mysel perhaps I might also say, to my constituents. What lis hair still adorns my bead I have possessed for a long tics I know it well. I have been on familiar terins with many years, I have inadvertently mingled spruce gen and chewing tar with it in my years of extreme you, Thave often sun-dried it in order to present a proper py guilty appearance at home after surreptitious swim: expeditions, Ihave had it pulled the wrong way by ben whom I only learned to thrash afterwards. At the sase period of my life Leven endured the ignominy of Darny it cut—in ascending tiers—by experimental muiden The consequence of all this is that that bit of remalnicy hair and I are old and, I trust, inseparable friends | indulge the hair, and the hair indulges me. The ha indulges me by permitting me to wear it after my ov conception of the way it ought to be worn, anil I induie the hair by firmly declining to have it trifled with by ge tlemen of the scissors who possess artistic ideas me bizarre than my own. I fear I'll have to ask you totadeip us both—the hair and me. Cut it the way I directed yon to cut fi The black barber looked dazed, When th; had lumbered out of the shop, rolling li manc-wy bo'sun's mate on a three-day liberty ashore, the barte mumbled to himself: “Speakub! Ah shou'd say bi Kuh! "— Washington Post. histo EvROPrAx AGENTS—Mevere. Brentano, Avenue de Opera, Parts Human Intellect has devised no better MAS THE STRENGTH OF ian | system for the benefit of mankind than LIFE IN- SURANCE. THE PRUDENTIAL represents the widest ex- tension of the plan. It insures Both Sexes. All Ages, J to 70. Amounts, $15 to $50,000,000 Premiums payable yearly, half-yearly, quarterly, weekly. THE PRUDENTIAL INSURANCE CO. OF AMERICA JOHN FP. DRYDEN, Presiden! Home Office: NEWARK, N. 3