Life — May 5, 1898 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

385 In the Future. HE government must be ap- prehensive of war by and by.” “Why” “T see an order has been issued that only boys shall be born this year.” A Tragedy. ITRWAS Christmas Eve, the month was Tt She wore her father’s gown: The reins beyond the horses lay, The sleigh was upside down, They sped across the boiling snow, Above the sun's cold glare The little birds, above, below, h the air. The jangling sleigh-bells made no sound, The horses backward few; The cows were lowing underground, The trees all downward grew, ‘Twas high noon, and the moonbeams played, Jouds to dust all ran: He was a winsome, pretty maid, She was a big, strong man. He softly said, yet did not speak “Thate you! Marry me.” She laughed, as tears ran down her cheek “Love you, No!” said she. This sad event, which is, or was, Or may be, must appall! I know it happened, just because I was not there at all. me Massie, N° is the time to sell. If you have a I yacht, sell it. If not, sell a mule. If you have no mule, buy one, Mules are searee, and the government necds them, ‘*7T OOK here, Gugg + sold me ripped the first time I straddled ab “Sthraddled it? Vy, mine vrient, dot sood vas made vor a lady's vheel!” More Spanish Treachery. T seems to be regarded as matter for concern that General Woodford failed to serve our President's ultin:atum on the nish Government, and had his passports sent bim before his bolt was shot. The true history of this incident, which has been telephoned to Lirr at great expense from Madrid, is that late on the evening of April 20th, Sagasta, with charac- teristic Spanish treachery, caused the strect in front of Gen- eral Woodford’s house to be strewn with tacks. Accordingly, when our Minister fared forth at dawn on his momentous errand, both tires of his bicycle were promptly punctured, and he was compelled to lead his vehicle back, ‘This delay spoiled the job. Before the holes could be plugged General VENA! NOW 1 COULD LOVE THAT MAN IF Woodford's passports had reached him, and the express wagon ‘T 80 POOR!” was waiting for his trunk. ea I comicbooks.com