Life — April 28, 1898 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Wasutxatox, D. The President and Cabinet and w York Jaundice correspondent spent three hours in the Jaundice's Washington Bureau last lent at first favored waiting until the report of the Board of Inquiry is acted on before declaring war: but when your correspondent informed him that the Juundice’s*Sunday edition describing and illustrating the “ First Naval Duel West was already printed, he immediately receded from his position, and stated that he would issue the necessary declaration of war as soon as the’ Jaundice’s tugs, containing reporters, artists, and trance-mediums, reached Key West. By special arrangement with the telegraph companies, connections have been made t the Gulf Squadron and the Jaun- dice building, New York, so that the first shot fired in the Jaundice’s tear between the United States and Spain will be fired by the Jaundice!! One hundred picked men arrived here from Yappe- ville, Wis., to-defend the national capital. They were “picked” at the depot and relieved of all their valuables. The Jaundice has arranged the following programme for the navy: At the beginning of hostilities, the United States monitors Melancholia, Fitzsimmons, Singed Cat and Sitting Bull will individually engage the Spanish destroyers Tamale, De Monk, Garrote and Tarantula Our submarine torpedo-boat McGinty will station herself off Key West, and apply spontaneous combustion to all comers under the Spanish flag. The Fish Commission this morning issued a most sig- ficantjorder, which leaves no doubt as to the aggressive irse the Administration means to pursue toward Spa The order reads that “All Spanish mackerel are to le For sale by all Newadealers in Great Britain. national News Company, Bream's Building, Chancery Lani London. E. C., England, Aorsts. Whiting’s Papers If you're bothered to get them, a line to us will place you in possession of samples from one of numberless dealers who wants your orders. WHITING PAPER COMPANY 148-150-152 Duane Street, New York auso ar Holyoke, North Wilbraham, :Chicago, Philadelphia The Inter- United States waters by noon to-morrow.” Prominent diplomats say that Spain will at once resent this harsh edict, and attack our helpless coasts, Footpads broke into the naval gun foundry last night, and this morning it was found that several guns had been rifled, At the Spanish legation last evening an important con- ference was held, the nature of which your correspondent could not learn, his ladder being too short to enable him to get his ear to the window.—Harper's Weekly. “Tuere is one thing you don't have to do, anyhow growled Mr. Wipedunks, through the lather that covered his face, as he proceeded to strop his razor: “you are always complaining about your hardships. You ought to be mighty thankful you haven't got beard to bother y I don’t know about that.” replied Mrs. Wipe duoks, “If [was a bearded lady, I believe I could mal a better living for this family than you're making, —Chicago Tribune. Ir was at a Lyceum rehearsal. A magnificent climax had been reached in the dialogue, and the moment arrived for the effective use of the usual thunder and lightning. The stage carpenter was given the order. The words were spoken, and instantly anoise, which resembled a succes- sion of pistol shots, was heard off the wings. “ Zounds, men,” shouted Sir Henry Irving, rushing behind the do you call that thunder? It’s not a bit like it.” ir,” was the carpenter's reply, “but the fact is n't hear you because of the storm. That was real thunder, sir."—The Wave. scenes, ificide, and Other Tales. By W. G. V. Four for a Fortune. By Albert Lee. Social Pictorial Satire. By George Du \: Senorita Montenar. By Archer P. Crow Vanity Fair. By W. M. Thackeray. HENRY HOLT AND COMPANY: NEW y King Circumstance. By Edwin Pug Fighting for Favour, By W. G. Tarbet The Durket Sperret. By Sarah Barnwell ') HERBERT 8. STONE AND COMPAS Priscilla’s Love Story. By Harriet Preset A Bride of Japan. By Carlton Dawe. THE MACMILLAN COMPANY: NEW Yor esses at the Riddle of Existence. By G Told in a@ Coffee House, Collected a: n by Cyrus Adler and Allan Ramsa: Through Finland in Carts. By Mrs. Ale CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS: In Old Narragansett. B: The Dull Miss urter, CHICAGO AN NEW Yc Alice Morse Ea Archinard. By Anne De The Eugene Field I Knew. By Francis Wilson, Her Heart's Desire. By Charles Garvice New Yor. By F. Hopkinsoo Sai: Houghton, MiMin anid Compass 1807-98. Boston, By Laura E. Richards Bo Boston and New York: The Harvard Index. Rosin the Beau. es. and Lauriat. Dawxixa: How's 5 Priuups: It’s d feel very well myself. uur indigestion, old man 1 nicely, thank yous but 1 de Baz EUROPEAN AuNTS—Mesara. 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