Life — April 28, 1898 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

fruity smile and joyous hand, and transport bim any- where—out of the State. * * * ‘LY a Deadhead who is genuinely great, one in whose hands the Nose Trust is as putty, one who is solicited by railroad wreckers to accept passes with the privilege of not being whisk-broomed— only he can ever hope to overcome the coy reserve which hotel owners manifest towards strangers in temporary embarrassment, Natu- rally, a Deadhead who lives in luxury at a hotel, without a vulgar resort to dollars and cents, must have a special training in hypno- tism, be possessed of soporific logic, and have HOW SHE WAS WON. G ELSE WILL CONQUER THE SPANIARD, LET Us TRY THIS The Deadhead. ment has weight, bis dictum vogue, and that his disfavor means calamity. Once these views are firmly imbedded in the gray matter of the nasal exiles of Poland and Pomera- nia, the Deadhead may adorn the foyer with his person and disinfect the box-oflice with bis breath, The energies of the Deadhead are frequently directed against the transportation companies, for he loves a change of scene, and is not above impressing his genius on many communi- ties. A bloated, grasping and inding monopoly submits to phlebotomy with little enthu- siasm; its business is to bleed, not to be bled; 3 only Deadheads of supe- HE Deadhead is the high type of commercial eivitizs tion; the acme of American ambition and ethics; the in- carnation of the desire to get something for nothing. The Deadhead is the evolution of the pirate and buccaneer, soft- ened by time, restrained by law, and fixed by convention; his tongue has supplanted the twelve- pounder, his brazen cheek the blade of steel; yet the profoundly moral nature of the freebooter is duplicated in his mellowed modern prototype. The favorite lair of the Deadbead is the theatre, his favorite prey the simple, guileless manager, the credulous, soft- hearted impresario. ps because prov ident nature arms the victim against its lestroyer, the Deadhead is not as flamboy- Tor genus can tap rail- ant as in days of yore, for today he tinds Tad magnates and steam- the wary Theatre Trust bas beak and tal- boat pursers. A Dead- ong, that its flesh is tough and its feathers head with a positive sift Tew. for variegated fiction and * . . a cargo of dazzling HE imaginative faculty is highly devel. schemes is fhe man to en- oped in the Deadhead, for he has gage the cold and caleu- to go up against a class of persons who lating magnate in conver- have made inveracity a fine art and aper- sation. The heart of the manent investment, He has a smooth man- railroad despot is usually her; a tongue well oiled and geared at 108; as tender as his teeth, and awarmly amiable handshake; a contidential he is seldom touchy, wink; and, knowing the taste and voracity though haughty; but if of the “Profesh,” he is a skillful and fluent he {s convinced that the distributor of verbal confections. ‘Free Deadhead is on the Gov- front seats ” is bis motto—no real gentleman will accept a back seat—and in the acquisi- tion of them his talents are displayed. His task is to convince the merry persons with crescent noses who pillage the public at the box-office that he is an influence in mould- ing public opinion, that his critical judg- ernor’s paper, that he is a cousin of Croker and half- brother to Platt, the mag- nate takes him to his bosom and thaws out; even Chauncey Depew will greet him with the comicbooks.com