Life — March 31, 1898 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

248 Major Brace’s Embarrass- ment. friend, Major Brace, has been telling me that the rector of the church . which he * goes to, ob serving the sedateness of his walk and the salubriousness of hisconversation, has called his attention to the expediency of be- coming @ somewhat more formal pillar of the temple, by making public attestation of his connection with it. The Major, being in decided sympathy with the purposes of the church, has been looking into the matter. He finds it requisite, among other things, if he joins the church, to take upon his own shoulders all the responsibilities assumed on his account by his sponsors in baptism. He says his sponsors agree on his account to re- nounce the devil and all his works, the vain pomp and glory of the world, and other mat- ters which the prayer-book specifies. He has no kindness, he says, for the devil, and no desire to retain the usufruct of any of his works but “the vain pomp and glory of the world” has given him some slight pause, because of a diffculty in determining precisely what spe- cifications these somewhat loose descriptive terms include. If “vain pomp and glory" means plumes on a hearse, he will cheerfully forego them. If it means the privilege of having his por- trait in the newspapers, he will not cleave to that, He is quite willing to give up, so far as lies in him, all purpose and expectation of marrying either of his daughters to any mem- her of the British peerage, all unchristian joy over our country’s bold gesticulations in be- half of Cuba, all pride in the United States Senate beyond what loyalty demands, and all hope of having either of his sons on the football team of any prominent university. Further than that he does not quite know how to go, and yet these renunciations some- how seem trivial to him when footed up and balanced against the sonorous interrogation of the church. “Where shall I get any vain pomp!” the Major demands, “Do you really think it rows in this country, or that a republican form of government is consistent with itt I own I am often proud of Mrs, Brace’s clothes, and her glorious and majestic ap- pearance in them when they are new. I even take a pleasure in that brilliant aggrega- tion’ of jewels which is known in our fam- ily as ‘The Constellation,’ and which she often wears of an evening with admirable “BREAKING IT Gi Chauncey M. Depew. love him for his well- WE sidered thought and diction ne We love him for the stories that he knows how to repeat. Somehow, when Chauncey tells them, they take on an added charm— If we have heard them all before, pray tell us what's the harm? We love him for his manner, his approachableness, too— ‘There never was another man like Chauncey M. Depew. ‘Tis true that Chaunce; isn't good at lying on the shelf; He much prefers to move about and advertise himself. ‘Tis true, behind that polished front, suave and kind and ¢ The figure of sleek Vanity is stalking night and day. No medium too small for im to work—aye, that is true, And yet we love and reverence our Chauncey M. Depew. We love him fur the tact that he so gracefully displays: We learn from Chauncey M. that tact invariably pay He teaches us that little m in, by sitting up quite late And talking, may lead some of us to thinking he is great, Some think he is a fraud—but that will never, nerer do— We're bound to love and reverence our Chauncey M. Depew. effect. pomp, but it is not mine. Mrs. Brace must settle about it herself. I might renounce the yellow shoes I bought last year, and which I own I did not like the less for being ostenta- tious, but their day is so far advanced that they are pomps no longer. I confess that I am somewhat disconcerted. I could renounce the devil, though really he is almost as vague an entity to meas the ambiguous * Mrs, Astor;* but Ishall have to take further counsel with the rector about the pomps and vanities. Perhaps he will understand them in some sense which will make them seem tangible enough to let go, but, unless he does, it puz- zles me to know how I am to give them up without blushing before all the congrega- ES. M. ‘The Constellation’ may be a vain Itinerant Feasting. HE newspapersreport theinvention of a new kind of dinner-party, which starts as far downtowns is convenient, and works uptown, stopping at one restaurant after another for relays of food. One such enter- tainment, of which public record has been made, began in University Place, continued in a gastronomic lair on Madison Square, and was wound up on Fifth Avenue in the neighborhood of Thirty-fourth Street. The advantages of this ingenious plan are very striking. It involves several layouts of flowers and increased expenditure for con- veyances, and gives the guests convenient opportunities to shake down their food and prepare for new exertions, It also obvi- ates the necessity for anything like sus- tained conversation, and thus simplifies the intellectual end of the entertainment, It isa very pretty device, and helps us all to realize that the world moves, and that civilization has by no means stood still since the days of Lucullus,