Life — March 3, 1898 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A MOMENTOUS TOPIC. (Me, Simpson discovers a London label in Mr. Dingley’s headwear.) ‘Tis quite the thing to estimate The man by his attire. My hoseless feet—oh, lucky First made the crowd admire. But though a contrast great it be. I've just discovered that To jue The label in his hat aman I want to see ay with buttonhole bouquets, kewise Hyperion hair. For all such whims have No more they make us stare. The coat, the trousers and the vest Don't count. I tell you that There's only one important test The label in the hat. 1 their days; What though there's business to be done: What though the public hopes For some glad glow of reason’s sun In darkness where it gropest Let Congress with attention pause While we in phrases pat Discuss, mid humorous applause, The label in the hat ~Washington Star. For sale by national News C London, E. C., nygland, AGENTS, The wind and dust cause painful chapping of the skin. are so affected should use only a Pure Soap. 44 per 9 100 Poent 1 Newsdealers in Great Britain. Tho Inter. pany, Bream’s Building. Cuancery Lane, Ara small dinner given recently in a Western city the guest of honor was a young married woman who is the proud mother of two handsome boys, both under five years of age. In their education she endeavors to follow asystem, after the manner of most young mothers, and is very particular to live up to any rule she has made for them. During an early course inthe dinner, and in the middle of an animated conversation with her host, she suddenly paused with a startled look and cried: “There. if I did not forget those boys again! Have you a telephone in the house, and may I use it? * She was taken to the telephone by her host, and the murmur of her voice in earnest conversation floated back to the diping-room, After a short pause she returned, * Ido hope you will pardon me," she said. “But you see, always have Georgie and Eddie say their prayers for me before they go to sleep. I forgot it to-night in the hurry of getting off, so I just called up the nurse, She brought them to the ‘phone, and they said their prayers over the wire, somy mind is relieved! "—New York Sun, “Wuat's worrying you, Silas?" Mrs, quired. *T made a fool of myself this morning,” her husband replied. “ How did you ever come to do that * Met Jones in the car going downtown and told him all about how much I consider myself worth, This after- noon I learned that he had been appointed tax assessor for this district."—Chicago Daily tockwelll ins Those who PURE. | CLOTHING. HENRY KEEN, Tailor. oe Established 1844, h Holborn, London. W. C. Mixture Smoking Tobacco # x The Government Protects You EASTERN OFFICE, 41 Beaver Street, N.Y. when you drink brandy bottled in bond. WALDEN COGNAC is the only brandy bot- tled in bond under super- vision of officials of the United States Goveru- ment, which guarantees age and purity of the , Vil, brandy. Wf MN A pleasant, healthful f stimulant, endorsed and fo recommended by lead ing physicians in Europe — and America. iy) Insist on having the genuine Watex Coaxac and none other. 19 and 21 West 31st Street, A coxtayMan walked into a Western newsparer office to advertise the death of a relative. What is your charg he asked of the clerk. ion “We charge two dollars an inch.” “Ob!" said the countryman, “T can't afford thy My friend was six feet three inches.” —Household Words * Beastey nuisance. isn’t it!" said a young manaty social gathering the other evening. “Spoke to that felt over there—took him for a gentleman—and foun be be @ ribbon on his coat; some blooming head waiter,{ suppose.” * Ob, no,” replied the other: of the evening.” “Dash it all, now is it?” said the astonished swet “Look here, old fellow, as you know everybo-ly, woot you mind sitting next me at dinner and telling me wb everyone is 1 “Should like to very much.” replied the « “but you see I cannot. “s Blank, the guer her man I'm the blooming head waiter —Chicago Dai “Wovtps'r Your Majesty like to take out insurance?” respectfully asked the agent, on mitted to the royal presence. “Tean’t afford it,” replied King Solomon all can do to look after my family while I'm alive Waving his hand to signify that the interview was ended, he turned to the speaking tube and ordered bs steward to provide three hundred porterhouse steaks soi seven hundred veal cutlets, breaded, with tomato saw for the family dinner.—Detroit Journal. 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