Life — February 3, 1898 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

APTER CROSSING THE RED SEA. SAID MOSES TO AAI In the Car. GE wished she stood within his shoes, Because he had a seat; But since that was impossible, She stood upon his feet. The Reflections of a Philoso- pher. HEN his son was about to begin bus- iness on his own account, the retired gold-brick operator said to bim: “Con- fidence, my boy, is the basis of business prosperity. Remember that all labor is honorable; some is more profitable and safe than others. The wise business man, hke nature, works along the lines of least re- sistance; therefore cultivate the widow orphan, Do not join in the vulgar nda against the agricultural classes: they may lack the graces of the Four Hundred, and have eccentric theories of finance, but their money is good and easy, Never forget the courtesies of your profes- sion or ignore its members; treat bankers and brokers with the same consideration that you do other members of our noble order, If you meet a policeman on the street, turn down the avenue; there is room enough for him and you in the great city. Study human nature. Remember that man is constantly seeking to obtain one dollar's worth of merchandise for ten cents’ worth of value. He who accommodates him is do- ing a good thing. Men are constantly buying and selling our product, gold bricks. Know your man and your brick: the thickness of the plate on your brick should always be in inverse ratio to the thickness of your patron's head. Prudence in business isan adjunct of success. While the general proposition, that men’s ears are longerthan their memories, is true, in order to avoid the exception to the rule, follow the example of the gentle lightning and never strike twice in the same place. * Versatility, while admirable, is danger- ousand unprofitable iu business. Avoid the sandbag and jimmy; stick to the time- honored gold brick. Riches hurriedly ac- quired destroy good manners and mark the parvenu; therefore eschew green goods un- less they be human, It is esteemed more conventional to shave notes than to raise them, Whistling for your money is as un- satisfactory as whistling to raise the wind; whistling is est 1 vulgar, anyhow “Pride in one’s workmanship is praise- worthy. Never sell a defective or il plated brick; such conduct is unprofes- sional, and honesty isthe best policy. Hap- piness and peace come only to the modest and inconspicuous. Therefore be content with modest competence, and let not un- lovely greed lead you to cornering the gold-brick industry, Remember that cor-