Life — January 13, 1898 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HE surgeon amputates one leg While patient “hollers,” Then deftly pulls the other one For about 200, Amoxo the legends connected with the great Cardinal Borromeo, the following is told to visitors to the huge palace of that ancient family on the Borromean Islands in the Italian Lakes. When Cardinal Borromeo had shown to Cardinal Giulio the vast abode which he had just com- pleted, the latter maintained a strict silence until they had inspected the whole. When departing, he said: “Your Eminence, I have been reftecting that the huge sums spent on this palace might have been given to the poor.” Cardinal Borromeo replied: “Your Eminence, they have been given to the poor, But our notions of charity differ, I pay the poor for their labor, and Your Eminence for their idleness,""— Argonaut. “T SEVER saw a man so cut up as old Rox is over the death of his bookkeeper. And yet you have always said that he had no heart and regarded his employees as mere machines.” “T'll tell you something on the quiet. The bookkeeper was about three thousand dollars behind in his accounts and old Rox was keeping him on and making him work it out."—Cincinnati Enquirer, Coxtrovensies about Scotch dialect are notoriously dangerous affairs, but Mark Twain, in his new book, “More Tramps Abroad,” throws new light on their man- agement. He is telling of a discussion at the table d’hote about the way in which the Scotch peasantry pronounce the word “ three: The solitary Scot was having a sultry time of it, so I thought I would enrich him with my help. In my position Twas necessarily quite impartial, and was equally as well and as ill-equipped to fight on the one side as the other. So I spoke up and said the peasantry pronounced it three, not thraw. It was an error of judgment. There was.a moment of astonished and ominous silence, then weather ensued, The storm rose and spread in a surprising way and I was snowed under ina very few minutes. It was a bad defeat for me; a kind of Waterloo, It promised to remain so, and I wish I had bad better sense than to enter upon such a forlorn enterprise. But just then I had a saving thought, at least a thought that offered a chance. While the storm was still raging I made up a Scotch couplet, and then spoke up and said: “Very well, don't say any more, I confess defeat. I thought I knew, but I see my mistake. I was deceived by one of your Scotch poets.” “A Scotch poet! Ob, come! * Robert Burns.” Itis wonderful the power of that name, These men looked doubtful—but paralyzed all the same. They were quitesilent for a moment; then one of them said--with the reverence in his voice which is always present in a Scotch- man’s tone when he utters the name: “ Does Robbie Burns say—what does he say #" “This is what he says: ‘There was nae bairns but only three— One at the breast, twa at the knee. It ended the discussion. There was no man there pro- fane enough, disloyal enough, to say any word against a thing which Robert Burns had settled. I shall always honor that great name for the salvation it brought me in this time of my sore need. It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, Name him.” J.B. LIPPINCOTT AND COMPANY: PHILADELPHIA AND Loxte, Alen Women and Manners in Colonial Times. 2 wi By Geo. Fisher, A Damsel Errant, By Amélié Rives. A Son of Israel. By “ Rachel Penn.” A Queen of Hearts. By Elizabeth Phipps Train Chalmette. By Clinton Ross. F. TENNYSON NEELY: LONDON AND NEW YORK. A Novelette Triology. By T. C. DeLeon. Just a Summer Affair. By Mary Adelaide Keeler, Petronilta the Sister. By Emma Homan Thayer. DREXEL BIDDLE: PHILADELPHIA, Shantytown Sketches. By Anthony J. Drexel Hidde, The Flowers of Life. By Anthony J. Drexel Bille The Second Froggy Fairy Book. By Anthony } Drexel Bildle, The Manslaughter of Delishya!! By Merrick O. Rea Westminster: The Roxburge Press, A Man and a Woman. By Stanley Waterin Chicago: Way and Williams, Eating and Drinking. By Albert Harris Hoy, 1.2 Chicago: A. C. McClurg and Company. played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceire There are people who think that honesty is always te best policy. This is a superstition; there are tins when the appearance of it is worth six of it. —New York Evening lost “ Dip Miss Flavilla seem pleased when you asked br to go to the theatre #* “Pleased? She wanted to keep the tickets for fer something might happen to me.""—Chicago Record. For sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. 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