Life — January 6, 1898 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A DESIRE. I WOULD you lay within the heart Of Yukon mountains old, You still would be, as now thou art, A sweet infinity of gold. I'd stake my largest claim right there, To compass all your charms divine, And as I dug you out with care, Ah! then you would be surely mine, —C. Tacume. Tux police justice had formerly been a bartender. He had gone into politics and hail been elected by a big majority. This was his first case. Mary McMannis was up before him for drunkenness, The justice looked at her for a minute, and then said, sternly “Well, what are you here for # “If yer please, yer honor,” said Mary, “the copper beyant pulled me in. sayin’ I was drunk. An‘ I don't drink, yer honor; I don't drink. “All right," said the fustice—his former bartender habit getting the best of him—“all right; have a ciga Buffalo Enquir “Lwever in my life used such a thing as a poster or a dodger or a handbill,” said John Wanamaker.“ My plan for twenty years has been to buy so much space in a news: paper and fill it up as I wanted, I would not give an advertisement in a newspaper of 50) circulation for 5,000 dodgers or posters, If I wanted to sell cheap jewelry or T SEISSORS AT NVLLv run a gambling scheme I might use posters; but I would not insult a decent reading public with handbills, The class of people who read them are too poor to look to to support mercantile affairs, Ideal directly with the pub- lisher, I say to him: ** How long will you let me run a column of matter through your paper for $100 or $500 t "as the case may be. Tlet him do the figuring, and if I think he is not trying to take more than his share I give him the copy. I lay aside the profits on a particular line of goods for advertising purposes, % At first I laid aside $3,000, Last year I laid aside and spent $10,000, Lhave done better this year, and shall in- crease the sum as the profits warrant it. [owe my suc- cess to newspapers, and to them I freely give a certain profit of my yearly business.""—Wool and Cotton Reporter. A LITTLE boy about five years old, too tired for any- thing but sleep, refused one night to say his prayers. His uncle, who was present, said: “Ob, Harry, would you go to sleep without asking God to take care of you during the night ?" The little fellow answer “T didn’t say ‘em last night; Lain't doin’ to say ‘em to-night, and I ain't doin’ to say ‘em to-morrow night, and then, if nothin’ don’t det me I ain't doin’ to say ‘ein no more."--Troy Times. “Tsvprosr said Maud. “I'm sure it ts," replied Mamie; “I don’t care te listen to it myself, but sometimes you have to play it in order to get a man to go home,""— Washington Star. classical music is all right in its place,” i) “I experstaxp, Uncle Jim, throw out your vote.” “ Dey is, suh 1” “That's what they tell me.” The old man looked thoughtfully at the grouni, raising his head, said : “Could you tell me, if you please, sub, des bow x of ‘em dey gwine ter throw out!" * “ How many of “emt” “Yes, suh, $0's I'll know how many of ‘em I'll left."—Atlanta Constitution. that they're going’ Tux late Dean Vaughan, eminent among Eng: clergymen, bad been preparing some colored clerg for mission work, and asked them to dine with him ip Temple. On that day Mrs. Vaughan waited an hour in the ing room for her guests, but none came. At list mentioned to the butler that it was very odd. ” Yes, ma'am,” he replied, ‘and what's odder I've done nothing all the evening but turn Christy = strels away from the door."—IWave. “You are so dreadfully cross-eyed, I don't see b you can shoot straight.” * I fire both barrels at once."—Boston Traveler. ~ Tcongratulate you, my dear sir, on the marriagy your daughter. I see you are gradually getting all girls off your hands. ‘Off my hands—yes! But the worst cf it is Thaw keep their husbands on their feet.” Melbourne Weekly Time Gil Newedenlers tn Great Britain, | The Inter- pany. Bream's Building. Cuancery Lane, There are a hundred imitations, They all lack the remarkable qualities of the gen- uine. WALTHAM WATCHES It is not jewels that make To secure Clean Hands, a Clear Com- plexion and to pre- vent Chaps—use Robert Low’s Turtle Oil Soap. Now is the time to get the skin jin health condition. first-class watch: 2f zs dvazns. It is mechanical skill and precision first, and the jewels and other materials after, that have made Waltham Watches the most accurate time-keepers in the world. .For sale by all retail jewelers.