Life — December 4, 1897 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A DEAR. Se has such dainty little hands, The kind that Cupid loves, But, oh! it costs an awful lot To keep those hands in gle She has two little shell-like ears, With blue veins lightly crossed, That means five $100 bills— You know what earrings cost Her costumes always are superb. Quite chic and up-to-dat ‘The other women envy her- And I-I pay the freight And do I love her? Ye AS everyone can see, She always was and always will Be very dear to me. —Somerville Journal. indeed! Ix her “Abandoning an Adopted Farm," Miss Kate Sanborn tells of her annoyance at being besieged by agents, reporters and curiosity seekers, She says: “I was so perpetually harassed that I dreaded to see a stranger approach with an airof business. The other « Iwas just starting out for a drive when I noticed th usual stranger hurrying Putting my head out of the carriage, I said, in a petulant and weary tone: ‘Do you want to see me!’ The young man stopped, smiled, and replied courteously: ‘It gives me pleasure to look at you, madame, but I was going further on Wuex General George Sheridan was camping on the Lower Mississippi, his negro boy, Harry, was one day aaked by a friend whether the general was not terribl annoyed by the mosquitoes, “No, sah!” said Harry “in the eveni mind the skeetes ‘toxicated the: Mars’ George is so ‘toxicated he don't and in the mornin’ the skeeters is so don't mind Mars’ George."—Argonaut. Up at Stromsburg a farmer sold his wheat, paid his mortgage and floating indebtedness, bought his wife a range and sewing machine, took one hundred dollars to go to Buffalo and give himself and his poor tired wife an outing, and had three hundred dollars left, When he had finished all the business, he wiped his brow with his shirt- sleeve and remarked: “I voted for Bryan last fall, but I'm d—d glad he wasn't elected."—N. Y. Times. Sox’ Papa, in buying stocks, what does “margin” mean? Father: It usually means what you have when you get through.—Detroit Free Press. crse.” said the doctor, “give the baby a bath and take the thermometer, so that the water will not be too hot or too cold.”* “All right, sir, but Idon't need the instrument. If the little one gets blue, it’s too cold; if she gets red, it’s too hot.""—Exchange. Tur. latest story from Klondike is that a man was caught out in a windstorm, The ground was dry and dusty, When the man got home he coughed up $73.15 in gold dust.—Salida Mait. Scnemexsxr: Vat? Youtakeabathefery day? Vat for? Brown: Oh, it makes a fellow feel better. “Chust because it maigs you veel petter? You must pe von of dem ebbicures."— Indianapolis Journal. : My friend is opposed to everything English. I noticed that in his conversation. Yonkers Statesman. A Panty of Southern gentlemen came to Washit few days ago to spend a week sightseeing. As the into Pennsylvania Avenue they found themselves next to a saloon, “Let's take a drink," said one of the party. “We have just had one,” said another, “It would be a good idea to settle on how often we take a drink during our week's stay,” said the thi “ Well,” said the first, who just then caught sight of the ever-visible Washingiton Monument, “let's take « drink every time we see the monument.” “T'm agreed,” said No. 2," providing we don't take one any oftener.”” “It suits me,” said No. 3," providing we do take one every time we see it." They were faithful to their plight. But they didn't stay a week. Instead, they took the 4 o'clock train that afternoon for New York, one of them remarking to the conductor as they boarded it: “Mosh shingler town, Everybody gone daft on Geor Washton. Put up monument to him one very shtreet corner. Georgie mush been—hic—bully boy.” —Nashville Bonner, “ T see there is a county in Iowa that is free from debt” “ How did the people out there get rid of their politi. cians "Cleveland Leader. Notice. With this Number of LIFE is issued as a sup. plement a picture by C. D. Gibson, printed on plate paper. Our readers should see that their newsdealers supply them with this supplemen' no copy of Christmas LIFE is complete without it SILVERWARE FOR CHRISTMAS The Gorham Company, Silversmiths, Broadway and 19th Street, New York Announce the completion of the largest, most distinctive and desirable stock of Silverware for the Holidays they have ever exhibited, and they invite especial attention to the unusual number of Christmas Novel- ties, entirely original with this Company. Their stock is now presented in its entirety, and as orders take precedence according to the date they are received, too much stress cannot be laid upon the advisability of early selections. GORHAM MFG. CO. SILVERSMITHS Broadway and 19th St., New York GO A AEE OE Re EO a On CON oe on Com go ot Co. oe