Life — November 18, 1897 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN Englishwoman once attended the military funeral of a major of the Victoria Guards. When the mournful pageant was over she stood thinking of the solemn scene—those sad-faced men, the reversed arms, slow tread, sad music, and touching sight of flag-draped coffin and unused helmet. Some one touched her elbow and sai “Was the dead gintleman anythin’ to ye, ma‘am ?”” No,"said the stranger, smiling in spite of herself. Ye looked so sorry, I was full sure he was some- thin’ to ye,” she continued, disappointedly. “He was a human being anda brave soldier; that should be something to all of us,” “Vis, yis, to be sure. Ido be feeling that way me- self this marnin’. But wouldn't it be grand, ma‘am, mournin’ for a man like that, supposin’ he was some- thin’ to ye."—Argonaut, A LAby on Staten Island had a green Irish girl fora waitress. After training the girl for a month, the lady ventured to invite two very dignified people to dinner. For two courses everything went well. Bridget re- frained from speech, spilled not a thing, and looked as pretty asa fresh young Irish girl can. But when she removed the fish to take it down to the kitchen she tripped on the top step, and with a scream and series of bum: s and crashes accomplished the descent. The hostess tried in vain to keep from laughing, but the two dignified guests never moved a muscle until all was still and the voice of the girl was heard calling in richest accents from the bottom of the stairs: "Did you hear me? Fellall the way down shtairs an’ landed on me fut loike a burrd,."—/arper's Bazar. “Cartatx, how much gold does your ship bring from the Klondike diggings this trip?” “ Between $4.75 and $960,000,c00."" —Chicago Tribune. A SwebE came ‘into a lawyer's office one day and asked: ‘Is bare ben a lawyer's place?” “Yes; I'ma lawyer.” “Well, Maister Lawyer, I tank I shall have a paper made.” “What kind of a paper do you want?” “Well, Itank I shall havea mortgage. You see, 1 buy mea piece of land from Nels Petersen, and I want a mortgage on it.” “Oh, no. You don't want a mortgage; what you want is a deed.” “No, Maister; Itank I wanta mortgage. You see I buy me two pieces of land before, and 1 got deed for dem, and ‘nother faller come along with mortgage and take the land; so I tank I better get mortgage this time."—Cincinnat® Enguirer. WARNING. T has come to our knowledge that certain dishonest parties are taking the centre cartoons from issues of Lire, having them framed, and selling them under the pretense that they are the regular band-printed drawings. The deception is so apparent that the most cursory scrutiny will reveal it. Many innocent and unsuspecting persons may, how- HARPER AND BROTHERS: NEW YORK. Lhe French Revolution, By Justin McCantby, M.P, Lorraine. By Robert W. Chambers. Marchesiand Music. By Mathilde Marchesi, Unkist, Unkind! By Violet Hunt. DOUBLEDAY AXD MCCLURE COMPANY: NEW VORK, Bird Neighbors, By Neltje Blanchan. Taken from Life. Verses. Tales from MeClure's. Prince Uno. (Uncle Frank's Visits to Fairy! Little Masterpieces, 3 vols. R. Fy FENNO AND COMPANY: Jasper Fairfax. Peter the Priest, NEW YORK. By Margaret Holmes, By Maurus Jokai. HERBERT 8. STONE AND COMPA York. The Vice of Fools, By N.C. Chatfield-Tay Literary Statesmen and Others. By Norma Hap- good. ¥: CHICAGO Axo The Daughter of a Hundred Millions. By Niles Leeds. London and New York: F. Neely. Elementary Jane Pryce, By Richard Pryce. New York and London: G. P. Putnam's Sons. The King of the Broncos. By Charles F New York: Charles Scribner's Sons. ‘irginia Tennyson umomis, ever, be fooled, and we therefore take this method of impressing upon all the fact that the original hand- printed proofs can be obtained only at the office of Lire and nowhere else. The Jan Maclaren Kalendar. New York Mead and Company. California Chinese Calendar, San Francisco: A.M. Robertson, Dodd, Yor sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The Inter. , Bream’s Building, Chancery Lane, national News Compan: London, E. C., England, Acxsts, Evnorgax Aogxts—Mesars. Brentano, $7 Avenue de l'Opers, Paris; Saarbach's News Exchange, 1 Clarastrame, Mayence, Germany, Agents for Germany, Austris and Switzerland. The quality of the the best hotels and on slee is not usually in keeping soap at even ping cars| with the luxury of modern travel. The man who does not wish to use| for his toilet and bath a soap of poor quality and detestable odor, will carry’ Ivory Soap in his toilet case. Copyright, 18, by The Procter & Cambie Ce, Cac | AN EXHIBITION are you an ale or drinker? Original Drawings Do you like a rich, mellow flavor, creamy head and transparent clearness? then try Evans’ ‘the highest grade brewing in the world. 1786—1897 10, H. EVANS & SONS Brewers, Malsters and Bottlera _ GIBSON Will be held at the Galleries FRED'K KEPPEL & C0. 20 East Sixteenth Street |Commencing Nov. 2oth Important Announcement In accordance with the present value of silver bullion, we have reduced, in price, our full line of STERLING SILVER, including our latest design in SPOONS and FORKS. SRN THE WALLACE COMPANY SILVERSMITHS 226 Fifth Avenue SUPERIOR to VASELINE and CUCUMBERS to 5 VASELINE CrEmME SIMON marvellous for softening, whitening and perfuming the and complexion. Most efficacious for light CUCUMBERS affections of the skin, J. SIMON, 18 rue Grange-Bateliére, PARIS.