Life — October 28, 1897 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tue late Senator George, of Mississippi, was an agnostic, while his wife was deeply religious. She placed a neighboring Baptist minister on his trail, and he got no peace. Once, riding slowly home from Carrollton and reading his mail, the preacher burst out of the woods on his right hand and began. They came toa creek and crossed it. It was, in the Senator's language, ‘saddle- pocket deep.” On the further bank he dismounted. ‘Git down,” he said, fiercely. The minister looked at him doubtfully. He feared a personal en- counter. Gitdown!” Hegotdown, ‘ Now,” said George, ‘I'm tired 0° bein’ harried around th’ kentry like I was a cotton-tail rabbit an’ you was a pack o' nigger dogs. Baptize me right here.” It was winter time, but the venerable statesman would not be denied. The two men waded into the icy water up to their armpits, and the ceremony was performed. Senator George climbed into his saddle and looked down on the shivering evangelist. ‘* Now,” he said, "you go home and stay home. I'm through with this—foolishness Argonaut. Tir man with the florid face and the bald head grew more and more un- easy as he sat at the restaurant table. He tried to read a newspaper, but every now and then would drop it, adjust his glasses and glare up and down the room to find the waiter to whom he had given his order. At last he managed to detain him, at the risk of being scalded by the soup he carried, and in- quired : “* How about that dinner I ordered ?” “Tt will be here immediately, sir,” was the answer. ‘The guest tried to read his newspaper once more, but as time passed bis uneasiness increased until he was glaring up and down the room as fiercely as ever. He found his waiter again and the same conversation was repeated, After two or three more similar attempts he arose and went over to another waiter who was gracefully leaning against a pillar. “*Look here,” said the guest, ‘1 want to know something.” “Yes,” responded the waiter, “* What I want to know is this: Am I ever going to get any dinner, and if | do get it, when will it be?” The languid young man looked at him and replied: “Excuse me. I'm afraid you have made a mistake, not a prophet."—Detrort Free Press, A CARELESS mason dropped a brick from the second story of a building oa which he was at work. Leaning over the wall and glancing downward, be discovered a respectable citizen with his silk hat jammed over his eyes and ears, rising from a recumbent posture. The mason, in tones of apprehensioz, inquired, ‘* Did that brick hit anyone down there ?”” The citizen, with great difficulty extricating himself from the extinguisher into which his hat had been converted, replied, with considerable wrath, ‘Yes, sir, it did. It bit me.” ‘* That's right," exclaimed the mason, in tones of undisguised admira- tion; ‘noble man, 1 would rather have wasted a thousand bricks than have you tell mea lie about it."—Argonaut, I am only a waiter, a Foe to Fatigue. —Nourishi : of prime beef appetizingly prepared. Fer athlet one, Prepared in a minute, with cold or hot water. Sold by all druggists and grocers. Armour & Company, Chicago. “Various Views on Vigoral” mailed free. —refreshing—a perfect health drink—the most nutritive portion cyclists, invalids, for every- FANCY TAILORING, DRESSMAKER and ART FURRIER Our preparations are now so far advanced that we are able to give im There's nothing so good 3 | for the Baby’s Skin as ft | Carbolated Taicum Powder ‘See that your drug- gist gives you Fehr’s It’s not only the original (it has been commended by phy- sicians for near forty years), but ft is put up in paste board boxes. BEWARE! of Talcum Powders ERLE {tiutar pOwOER eliotn F° pyain® Two kinds.plainand perfumed. All drng- gists keep it. Sam- ples free by mail. JULIUS FEAR, Pharmaceutist @ Hoboken, N. J. Central Si BEAUTIFUL ETCHINGS ILLUSTRATING AMERICAN SCENERY ano AMERICAN ACHIEVEMENT* mweRmeeRoONR axe | "AMERICAS GREATEST RAILROAD'* n Illustrated «<< Catalogue Containing miniature reproductions will be sent free post paid on Teceipt of one &ct. stamp, by George H.Danicels, Genl.Passr. Agt. Grand. t mediate attention to orders made © essary by the coming HORSE SHOW and shall also be pleased to give vate views of exclusive and ori, designs in EVENING WRAPS BALL GOWNS FUR GARMENTS, etc. —$——Sj MISS KYLE (Late of Paris) Manager 210 Fifth Ave, NEW YORK A STATE STREET restaurant carries beside the doorway a board which says that three eggs will be served ‘‘in any style" for ten cents. It is said that a man bringing with him a trace of Irish brogue came into the place the other day and called the waiter over to him. Three eggs for ten cents ?” he asked. That right.” “Any style?” Any style.” “Well, I'll have on Cc