Life — October 7, 1897 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A PRIVATE EXHIBITION. Master of Ceremonies ; DE NEX’ SHOT WHICH ME BRUDDER DE INFANT PHENOMENAL WILL PREFORM IS TO CARRUSt WID DE BALL ON DE BOTTLE AN’ DE LAMP, AN' TAKE DE CHIMNEY OFF DE LAMP WIDOUT BREAKIN’ OF IT, OR PUTTIN’ DE LIGHT OUT. DE SHOT IS NOT ON’ Alas! HY do our newspapers exult so openly and unkindly over the dismal home-coming of American citi- zens under the discipline of the new tariff law? Why do they point hostile and scornful fingers at the unfortunate American taxpayer, whose wife and daughters, having led him a mournful captive through strange lands, are now bringing him back to suffer loss and hu- miliation on his native heath?) Why do they jeer at the good clergyman whose pious odds and ends are ruthlessly ex- posed to public mockery upon the New York docks; at the virtuous matron who has purchased gowns befitting the station in which she deems Providence has wisely placed her; at the over-educated millioh- aire who seeks to enrich his reluctant country with works of art not of stand- ard domestic manufacture? Why do they publish vigorous editorials headed “Genteel Smuggling Ended,” and utter noble but acrimonious sentiments of the early Roman order anent wealthy citi- zens who spend their money in Europe, instead of surrendering it, as in duty bound, amid the simple, pastoral pleas- Poor Dives! DIFFERCULT, BUT MARVELYOUS! ures of Newport, or upon the patriotic and pious counters of Mr. Wanamaker? Above all, why do sympathetic friends at home cut out these exultant and cen- sorious columns from their morning papers, and send them, as forerunners of evil, to their apprehensive friends abroad? . * S a matter of fact, it is not always Dives who spends his summers and his modest patrimony on European soil, Americans who from some remote and frugal corner of the Tyrol or the Bavarian Alps have followed in spirit Lire’s personally conducted tours among the distinguished resorts of their father- land, have realized that one advantage of a temporary expatriation is the mar- gin it leaves for food and shelter in the winter months. Like the humble ant, they have been laying up provender for severe weather and the demands of home. It is not kind in the news- papers to class them relentlessly with Dives and his friends, and to wax edi- torially patriotic anent their insignificant meanderings. ‘* Wealthy Americans who can afford to go abroad for the pur- chase of their wardrobes,” writes an esteemed but misguided contemporary of the press, ‘‘who do not deem it respectable to wear anything that is American, and who think it the highest accomplishment to ape foreign customs and styles, however fantastic they may be.” . . . Remarks like this, I may observe, while excellent in their way, and useful in keeping up the Corinthian or leading article style which all good neswpapers practice and all good citizens love, are calculated to throw discredit upon Dives, and to make him unpopular with those who would like to fill his place. In reality, the modern representative of that biblical don-wivant resembles his prototype but sparingly. He does give a feast now and then, even a fancy ball occasionally, thus exciting the virtuous wrath of pulpit and of press; but he also founds libraries, endows colleges, builds institutions for teaching everybody how to do every- thing, burdens his native town with halls and fountains, supports whole societies for badgering the poor, pays taxes that would have made Croesus blink, pre- sents to the public houses in which comicbooks.com