Life — September 23, 1897 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

oN SeISSORS AT NVLLYS ALREADY the effects of the law in Massachusetts forbidding the wearing of birds on hats are being felt. Leominster women are considering the question of re- moving hats in chusch. Who cares about wearing a hat in church if it hasn't a high-priced bird poised among its ribbons and flowers ? Lewiston (Me.) Journal, Ir was about 2 o'clock in the afternoon that the sheriff of Bucks county rode up to Bill Hooper's cabin at the foot of the mountain to arrest the man on a war- rant charging him with stealing corn. Bill's wife sat in the open door with a pipe in her mouth, and asthe officer came along up she inquired : ‘Sam Davis, you are just the man I wanted to see. I've heard you talk a heap about the Bible, and I want toax you if you really believe that story about Joner and the whale?" “*Of course I do,” Bill around to-day ?” ** How big a man was Joner ?" persisted the woman, “Bout as bigas Lam, I reckon, Did you say Bill was off huntin’?” “And did the whale swaller him head-fust or feet- fast?" continued the woman, as she crowded some fresh tobacco into her pipe. * Head-fust, I reckon, though I ain't disputin’ ‘bout it and raisin'a row. Elder Dickman says it was feet- fust, but he wasn't thar no more’n me. If Bill is around home I'd like to see him a minit."" was the reply—"of course. Is ignoring all questions about her husband, ‘tis why that whale didn’t hang on to Joner when he had him. What did he cast him up fur?" “*Can‘t say,” replied the sheriff, “* but I reckon the Lord wanted things the way they was, and so they turned out as they did. I was speakin’ to you about Bill—whar is he?” “Bill? Oh, Bill is to home to-day.” “Kin I see him?" “Fursuah, When you rid up he was cleanin’ his gun out back o' the house, but I reckon he's ready fur you by thistime. Jest step around the co‘ner.” The sheriff stepped and ran agaiost the muzzle of ashotgun held in Bill's hand. As he recoiled a step or two Bill asked : “Was you lookin’ fur me, Sam?" “Twas,” replied the officer. ‘* Yes, I jest stopped a minit (0 say howdy and to remark that yout ole woman ain't no fule, and hevin’ said it I'll be going back to town. Nice day, Rill—good evenin’ to you, Mrs. Hooper !"—Philadelphia Press, Berore. the days of chloroform there was a quack in San Francisco who advertised tooth drawing without pain, The patient was placed in a chair anda wrench given, when he roared violently. ‘I thought you said there was no pain.’’ ‘*So there is not by my process, That is Cartwright’s way. That's the way he does it. It's very different from mive.” Another tug, and a still more violent howl. ‘* That's the way Dumerge pulls [he Express Messenger. By Cy Warman, York: Charles Scribner's Sons, Essays of Montaigne, Translated by Jota f, Vol. 11. London: J. M. Dent and Company. Beyond the Pale. By B. M. Croker. New}, R. F. Fenno and Company. Hugh Wynne, 2 vols. By S. Weir Mitchel, New York: ‘The Century Company. triumphantly withdrew the tooth and held ity inspection. ‘You observe that by my truly sin process there is really no pain whatever." N.Y, Tribes A nouveau ricke named Mason skcceeded in the Jockey Club in London, the most exclosive¢ England. Being somewhat noisy and offer card-room one afternoon, Lord Cave “*Look here, Mason, if you will resi I will give you five hundred pounds. room in high indignation, and meetin, Queensberry on the stairway, rela addin, stand pat,” said Queensberry, after a moment's tion, ‘‘and I think he will make it a thc AX old lawyer in Paris had instructed bis ci weep every time he struck the desk with his bud, forgot and struck the desk at the wrong moment promptly fell to sobbing and weeping. “What isthe matter with you?’ asked the } “But how did Joner live down thar in that whale till he was cut out?" “Dunno; but he went right on livin’, can’t say why the airth goes ‘round, but I know that she do. Mebbe Bill is in bed and asleep, Mrs. Hooper ? “What gits me,” continued the woman, calmly teeth,” said the unabashe< like it, no doubt. ever. By this time the tooth wa he said, ‘ Who would?” given, and the patient, as a rule, howled worse than “That,” the dentist says, is Parkinson's mode.” display my own “Well, he told me to cry as often as he stv! table.” entlemen of the jury,” cried the unabaste: yer, ‘let me ask you how you can reconcile the it crime in connection with such candor and sim 'd practitioner. ** You don't Another twist was s nearly out. ‘I will now,” method,” whereupon he For sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The Inter- national News Company, Bream’s Building, Chancery Lane, OPEAN AGENTS—Mesera. Rrentano, 37 Avenue de Opn, Saarbach’s News Exchange, 1 Clarastrase, Mayes, Germany, Agents for Germany, Austria and Switzeriant. London, E. 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