Life — September 2, 1897 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PASTORAL. The Surest Way. I’ gamblers and pickpockets wished to be sure Of making as much as they could, They would limit their trade saintly and pure, For then they would ‘*do” the most good ! M R. JOHN RUSSELL YOUNG, Librarian of Congress, will please observe that public pride and public interest in the Congressional Library is very keen, and that the eyes of the people are upon him as its head. The grateful acknowledg- ments that have followed his appoint- ments of Mr. Hutcheson and Mr. Solberg to important places in the library must convince him how anx- ious his fellow-citizens are that he shall do credit to his job. to the * LIFE: The Way He Lost Them. “T HAVE never yet lost a pa- tient,” said young Dr. Doce, proudly. “IT can’t say that much,” replied Dr, Paresis. ‘‘I often have a patient get well.” Not Fitted for the Task. E can't hoe his own row.” “No, He has been a rake all his life. Ahead of the Game. ST T'S too bad!" ejaculated Her- cules, throwing down his paper pettishly, ‘1 was born too soon, I was a man ahead of my age. I ought to have lived to-day, when I'd have a chance to be celebrated and get my picture in the papers.” “Why, aren't you famous enough asked Mars, surprised. No," grunted Hercules. ‘Just think what a grand centre I'd be on a football team.” “There’s Many a Slip,” Etc., BETWEEN THE MAGAZINE EDITOR AND THE WOULD-BE CONTRIEUTOR. [sampce.] Editorial Department, The Senseless Magazine, Dear Si New York. We rejoice that the accompanying manuscript has not been found avail- able for the magazine. So many conglomerations enter into the question of ‘‘infallibility,” such as the previous acceptance of much crazier material, a superabund- ance of water on the brain, or mis- fitness on account of the editor's limited means, etc., that the rejec- tion of a manuscript does not neces- sarily imply that it was thought decent from an illiterate point of view. Insanely yours, Editor, Senseless Magazine, The editor, while always unwilling to examine original manuscript, does not desire translations of articles which have already appeared in the magazine. THE WATER COLD!" “YES, THAT'S A PARTY OF BOSTON GIRLS THAT JUST WENT ouT.”