Life, 1897-08-19 · page 14 of 20
Life — August 19, 1897 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical pieces: **"A Facer"** (top): An elderly woman interrogates a nervous man about his moral character—his marriage, church attendance, beliefs, family loyalty—before deciding he's "safe" to sit beside on a train. The joke: her exhaustive vetting of a minister (the ultimate "respectable" profession) reveals anxiety about potential impropriety, mocking Victorian-era concerns about unchaperoned interactions between strangers. **"Apparently Safe"** (middle): Similar theme—a homely, unattractive woman's self-consciousness leads her to scrutinize a man extensively before sitting near him, suggesting she fears being perceived as forward. **Bottom cartoon**: Shows a man with dachshunds so elongated they drag on the ground—absurdist humor about selective breeding taken to ridiculous extremes. The page satirizes Victorian social propriety, particularly gender anxieties and the elaborate courtesies required in public spaces among strangers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Do you love your wife?” she demanded. “Yes, ma'am,” he replied, blush- ing, and convinced that he must humor her. “You'd die before you'd hurt her feelings?” “Yes, ma'am.” meekly. “Do you belong to the Y. M. Cc. AL?” “Yes, ma‘am.” “Do you believe in a hell?” “Yes, ma'am.” “Do you go to church regu- “Yes, ma'am.” ‘* Have you a mother?" “Yes, ma’am.” **Would you disgrace her?” ‘*Ye—I mean, no, ma’am.” “Have you sisters ?” “Yes, ma‘am.” “Would you bring the blush of shame to their cheeks?” “No, ma'am.” “And what is your business? Are you a drummer?” “‘No, ma'am. I'ma minister of the Gospel.” “Would you be torn apart by wild horses before you would do anything to disgrace the cloth?” “Yes, ma’am.”” “Well,” she said, with a sigh of relief, ‘I guess I dare sit beside you to the next station.” A FACER. Benevolent Old Lady : WMAT'S THE MATTER, LITTLE BOY? CAN 1 DO ANYTHING FOR YOU ? Urchin : YES, MISSUS. PLEASE GIVE US A BOOST. Alex, Ricketts, the honor to which he is entitled, but we bow to the well-settled principle of the ethics of the profession.” It is understood that when the medical gentleman read this, he remarked that he would like an opportunity to treat the reporter as the railway wreck had treated his patient. iam Henry Siviter. Apparently Safe. HE was tall, she was thin, she was an- gular, she was homely, she was dressed in execrable taste, and she was as unattrac- tive a female as anyone ever laid eyes upon; but she was timid, She came into the car and examined us furtively with her weak and watery eyes ; then she sidled up to the seat half-occupied by the quiet man. ‘‘Are you married?” she asked him, earnestly. - ib, “Yes, ma'am,” he ‘replied, wondering if HERR PUMPERNICKEL'S DACHSHUNDS GREW SO LONG IN THE BODY THAT THEY she were crazy. SAGGED IN THE MIDDLE AND TOUCHED THB GROUND. HERR PUMPERNICKEL SET