Life — August 5, 1897 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Harvarn had a splendid coach, Eli had one too; All that old Cornell put up Was just a winning crew! —Cleveland Leader, Mr. MEEKTON had been out several minutes later than usual the night before, and there was a decided chilliness at the breakfast table. The silence was sud- denly broken by his wife’s remark : “ Look at those senators and representatives, how they have lingered and talked over the tariff!" “Now, Henrietta, you surely can’t think of holding me responsible for that.”” “ Not personally, but it shows a trait that is common to your kind. It shows how a man will grasp at any- thing as an excuse for not going home when he ought to."— Washington Star. See You, perhaps, have traveled on so crooked a road that the rear car has been met by the engine, but prob- ably no one else in Maine has had such another expert- ence as a Rangely guide lately enjoyed. The guide, while working on a log drive, fell into the water. He struggled at the bottom for a while, and finally got up, and, grasping a big log, held on for life. The current was so swift that it carried his body under the log, and his feet stuck out of the water on the other side. Just as a comrade was about to grasp him by the shoulders, he gasped, looked at his own feet pityingly, and said to his rescuer: ** Don't mind me; save that fellow that's in head first."—PAillips (Me.) Phonograph, OLD PeTeR BrowniNc bas practically dropped out of baseball, but he will always be remembered as one of the queerest old chaps who ever played the game. He was a wonderful batter in his day, but hada weakness for foaming beakers, which finally brought him down. Upon one occasion, after Pete had won the cham- pionship of the American Association, the cranks of Louisville, in order to show their appreciation of the “Gladiator's work, made up a purse and purchased a fine gold watch. A citizen was delegated to present the timepiece to Browning, and when Pete came tothe bat in the first inning of a certain game, the citizen stepped forward, and, raising his cap, said: “ Mr, Browning, the people of Louisville, in recog- nition of your great batting this year, wish me to pre- sent you with this watch, which will always remind you of their friendship.” Pete took the watch out of its case, turned it over in his wrinkled hand, and then, turning to the donor, he said: “Where is the chain ?"—W. ¥. Sun. Sue: How would you punctuate the following : “ Bank of England notes of various values were blown along the street by the wind" ? He: Ithink I would make adash after the notes. —Household Words. “Poor Roninson! There goes his funeral.” “What, is Robinson dead ? ’ “\Limagine he is. Perhaps he {s just riding around town in that hearse for the fun of the thing, however." Cincinnati Commercial Tribune, ” said the Senator's wife, “the papeng accusing you of letting the stock market influeee roared the statesman, 4 pounded the table with his fist. ‘*AILI have dow that direction was to allow my vote to in‘lueaced dealings in the stock market."—/ndianapolis Jour] “You wish to be relieved from jury duty, bet» haven't a good reason,” said the judge. “It's public spirit," said the unwilling tal ‘on the score of economy. 1 have dyspepsia, jx and I never agree with anybody. If I go on this» there will be a disagreement, and the county wi to go to the expense of a new trial.” “Excused,” said the judge.—Green Bag. Brocar: Can you help a poor man to— PEpesTRIAN: I think you have touched me te “Possibly, sir; possibly. You see 1" photographer, and the old habit of retou sir."—Philadelphia Record, Sne: Why is it, I wonder, that little me often marry large women 2? He: Idon't know, unless it is that the litves| lows are afraid to back out of engagements. —Cleveland Lease. He: When women get to voting, if thee should, they will be found wearing the party yots meekly as the men. Sue: They won't if yokes are not in style, —Cineinnati Tritew For sale by all Newsdealers tn Great Britain. The Inter. ding, Chancery Lane, national News Company, Bream's Bull London, EC, Eagland, Aonsrs, Parts Ey ‘Clarast Germiny, Agents for Germany, dasteia and Switeer’ Brentano $1 Avenue 60 1'Opera, Evnoreax Aoxwre—Mesers, ‘Mayeney, IVORY SOAP Wash bright colored articles, such as silk neckties, in a luke warm suds of Ivory Soap; rinse in warm watez, squeeze gently, and dry without exposing to the sun; press with a warm iron. Twe Procter & Gawnie Co., Cnt, HUNTER BALTIMORE RYE. (10 YEARS OLD.) Warranted a PURE TONICAL STINULAM Recommended by Physicians and known as the CHOICEST WHISKEY For CLUB, FAMILY and MEDICINAL /Patronize American Industries | Sold at all First-class Cafes and by Jobbers. BALTIMORE, MD —wear KNOX HATS, | We. LANAHAN & SON, : Who can think of somesimple thingtopatentt oUF ideas, they may bring realth. HN WEDDERBU C0.. ¥ E D. Pl NAU D' Ss LATEST EXTRACT FOR THE HANDKERCKIE. 66 — PARIS — R EIN oursier Y ETT NE” pees PERFUMES. 10 LI ITE AND REFINED, | most E: SHE TRUE ODOR OF THE LIVING FLOM BEAR and LARGE GAME HUNTING BEWARE OF INFERIOR esd SOLO UNDER SIMILAR NAMES. . + + and RICH in TROUT FISHING. In Hungary, over 37,000 acres of land in one lot, with good routes and railway line, are offered to let for ten consecutive years. For further particulars, address to ANTON MEZEI, at Budapest (Palais Haas.) Good clothing is quiet, nq loud— both figures of speea But it fits your figure as don’t make people scream which is literal. A C Yates & Co Clothes Chestnut and Thirteenth Philadelphia CLOTHING ... Fatablisbed 1844 HENRY KEEN, Tailor, 114 High Holborn, London, W. C. IN FROM. 6 ”