Life — July 22, 1897 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WOULON’T IT? Now wouldn't it be nice Ona plunging ship of ice To sail away where arctic waters roll ? To fare and fare away Where it's freezing every day, And hang our summer straw hats on the pole ? To present our tickets there Where the dancing polar bear Gives the only entertainment—without price ? To shake his frigid paws, And to give him our applause, In a comfortable theatre of ice ? Atlanta Constitution. SHADowBROOK, the home of the Anson Phelps Stokes family, whose hospitality recognizes no limit that numbers can effect, is now open and ready to re- ceive all the sons and daughters of the house, with all their friends and friends’ friends. It is related of Mrs. Stokes that she recently received a telegram from a son at Harvard, which read: ‘Coming to-morrow with a party of '97 men," to which the amiable lady made reply: “Don't make it more than fifty; have friends already here."— Wave. A GENTLEMAN had left his corner seat in an already crowded railway car to go in search of something to eat, leaving a rug to reserve his seat. On returning he found that, in spite of the rug and the protests of his fellow- passengers, the seat had been usurped by one in lady's garments, To his protestations her lofty reply was: “Do you know, sir, that I am one of the director's wives?” ‘* Madame,” he replied, ** were you the direct- or’s only wife, I should still protest."—Argonaut. A Lapy who is acity missionary became very much interested in a very poor but apparently respectable Trish family named Curran, living on the top floor of a great tenement-house in the slum district. Every time she visited the Currans the missionary was annoyed by the staring and the whispering of the other women living in the building. One day she said to Mrs, Curran: “Your neighbors seem very curious to know who and what I am and the nature of my business with you.” “* They do so,” acquiesced Mrs, Curran. “Do they ask you about it?” ‘* Indade they do, ma'am.” “And do you tell them ?” “* Faith, thin, an’ oi do not.” “*What do you tell them ?"” “Oj just tell thm you are me dressmaker, an’ let it go at that."—Harper's Bazar. Ir was past midnight, and M. Ivremort was fumbling about in the hall and mumbling angrily to himself. ““What's the matter?” called out Mme. Ivremort from the floor above. “There's two hat-racks here, an’ I don’t know which one to hang my hat on,” “Oh, hang one on each and come to bed.” —Petit Journat Pour Rire. “Dip you see the account of the new submarine boat ?” “Ye you know. “It certainly indicates extraordinary progress.” “Of course; but in the wrong direction. Enough boats go down now. What I want to see is one that is guaranteed to stay up."—Chicago Evening Post, ut I didn’t read it. It doesn’t interest me, HARPER AND BROTHERS [* Simphinsvitle, By-Ruth McEnery Stuart. (S15, The Story of the Rhinegold, By Anna Alice Chy man. ($1.25.) The People for whom Shakespeare Wrote. ¥ Charles Dudley Warner. ($1.25.) NEW YORK, F, TENNYS ELY : NEW YCRK, The Reveries of a Spinster. By Helen Davies, The Malachite Cross. By Frank H, Norton, Diomed. By John Sargeant Wise. ($2.00.) Bos, London and New York: Lamson, Wolffe and Cor pany. The Professor's Dilemma, By Annette Lucile Note New York and London: G. P. Putnam's Sons. From the Land of the Snow Pearls, By Ella Big ginson. New York: The Macmillan Comp: A LAD in a remote country village swallowed a smi Jeaden bullet. His parents and friends became re much alarmed about the matter, and his father sext fe By a physician some miles away ‘‘in haste,” urging bs speedy coming, The physician, however, took t matter more philosophically, and wrote the folloviy note: “Do not be alarmed. If, after three weeks, bullet is not removed, give the boy a charge of powder, Yours truly, — “*P.S.—Do not shoot the boy at anybody. —Argonast, ‘Miss Hicusee is a beautiful singer, isn't ste!” “Very. That was all that made her singing able.""— Washington Times, For sale by all Newadealers in Great Britain. The Inter- pestgee! Revs Qompecy, Erean’s Building, Chancery Lane, London, £.0., onNTa, Evnorisx sours Meer, Brentano, #1 Avenue de FOpers, Paria Saarbach's News Exchange 1, Clarast Germany, Agenta for Germany, Austria and Bwi IVORY SOAP No other soap is found in so many homes. Tne Procter & Gaware Co., inn, A Patronize American Industries —Wwear KNOX HATS. Wan wpe tine Protect, goar Idea Pg you wealth. N Wevbenbense Vos 1atent | Attor. dington, D. C., for thelr prize offer .| to share in the reflected light of the house A man’s clothes are his Hunter. own estimate of himself—| . Baltimore Rye, better not be too modest. The American Gentleman's ALC. 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