Life — July 1, 1897 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“JeIGGORS AT NLL THAT SWEET GIRL GRADUATE. So stately and so dignified She looks in cap and gown, I hardly dare to speak to her, This grad of great renown. I scarcely can believe my eyes! It surely can’t be she Who always seemed so very shy, So very coy to me! But suddenly the spell departs, And I give thanks to Fate: For anxiously she asks me if Her mortar board’s on straight. Harvard Lampoon, “Wett, Mary,” asked the Modern Husband, ‘what have you been doing to-day ?” The Modern Woman was taking off her bonnet. “Everything,” she answered. “I've had sucha busy day you can’t imagine. At nine this morning we had a reading at Mrs, X.'s—sucha beautiful reading. Mrs, X. read us a paper on the ‘Architecture of the Probable Capital of Mars'—I do wish you could have heard it, dear—and after that Professor W. gave us a little talk on the ‘Microscopic Insects of Central Africa,’ It was so interesting “It must have been.” “Then at eleven there was a meeting of the ‘Seven- teen Great Religions Club,’ and at eleven-thirty a meet- ing of the ways and means committee of the *S: for the Reformation of Murderers.”’ “Ves.” “And at noon I lunched with Mrs. “Yes.” nd in the afternoon we went to the Spring the- atricals of the ‘Women’s Garrick Club.’ And then coming home I saw such a lovely child playing in the street in front of our house. Such a dear little boy! I quite wanted to kiss him. I wonder whose child he is * Did he have yellow hair?" asked the Modern Man. “Yes, “And blue eyes ?” “ Beautiful blue eyes.” “And an old shirt waist 2” “Ob, a horrid shirt waist!” “Then I know whose child he is.” “Well?” “ He's ours.”"— Boston Budget. A FRENCH politician and bully named Choquart, who flourished some years ago, one morning went into Tortoni's restaurant and said to a waiter: ‘* Bring me the Constitutionnel.” ‘Sorry, sir," said the waiter, “*but it’s being read just now." He indicated a stout gentleman across the room, Choquart went over where the stout gentleman sat, and after hemming and hawing in a significant way without attracting the maa's attention, said flatly to him: “Sir, I want to read the Constitutionnel.” The man turned and said: “I am nearly done with it, sir, and in about five minutes I shall have pleasure in delivering it toyou.” ‘But I want it now!" said Choquart. So the quarrel went on, until HARPER AND BROTHERS: NEW YORK, he Real Condition of Cuba To-Day. By Stepi Bonsal. (60c.) “Hell for Sartin,” and Other Stories. Fox. Jr. “Robbo,” and Other Fancies. By Thomas Whang Susan's Escort, and Others. By Edward Eve; Hale. Mr. By Ja Peters. By Riccardo Stephens, M. B.C. M. F. TENNYSON NEELY: NEW YORK. A Bar Sinister. By St. George Rathborne. “Odd Folks.” By Opie Read. The Honor of a Princess. B. F. Kimball Scrit: Montressor, By Loota. Concordance to the Greek Testament, Charles Scribner's Sons. Montaigne's Essays. Company. New You New York: The Macmil there wasa challenge “and a duel, in which Choa received a sword-thrust that kept him in bed thal months. As soon as he was able to go out he vq one morning to Tortoni's for his chocolate. me the Constitutionnel,” he said to the waiter. ‘ Sox sir, but it’s be ng read.” And there was the same s gentleman across the room, tranquilly taking his co and reading the Constitutionne’, Choquart glar him. gular individual, that,” said he to waiter; ‘he reads the Constitutionnel yet, after a lesson I gave him three months ago.""—Argonaut, “*Wos't it be delightful when we all have machines “TI don't know about that; of course our cr will all have them, too."—Chicago Record. Yor ealo by all Newsdealers in Great Britain, The Inter- national News Sela Bream's Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. AGENTR, Paris; Saarbach’ Germany, Agents EUROrEaN AoEXT#—Mesera Brentano, $7 Arenue de 1° ‘a Exchange, 1 isting many, Austria and Switeerland. The housewife who thoughtfully packs f for a stay At seashore or mountains, will part fill a tray With Ivory Soap; for ’tis best, as she ows. For her laundress to use on the light summer clothes. Coprrighs 1898, by The Procter & Ouabis Ca.Cias, Pinney “(GARE SYRACUSE BICYCLES Are composed entirely of Crimson Rit Quality... The highest stage of perfection Patronize American Industries —wear KNOX HATS Richness of bouquet, ripe, mellow flavor, sparkling brilliancy, and the abse: of all dregs and sediment, are distinctive characteristics of |EVANS’ INDIA PALE ALE. i HIGHEST IN PRICE FINESTIN QUALITY 2sc. a Bundle. 10 in Bundle. Trial Package in Pouch by mail for asc. | H, ELLIS & CO., Baltimore, Md. Tue American Toracco Co., Successor. PARFUMERIE et ED. PINAUD, 37 BOULEVARD OE STRASBOURG, PARIS. LIX] PIVQOTENDIRO* R DENTIFRICE. ‘# AN EXQUISITE ANTISEPTIC MOUTH WASH. INSURES HARD GUMS,WHITE TEETH. AND SWEET BREATH. TALL DEALER A’ Yor conrespono wirn ED. PINAUD'S.w.y. importation office 46 CAST 14™Sr, in Bicycle construction . . There is but one Syracuse It is the Crimson Rim MAKERS: SYRACUSE CYCLE CO Syracuse, N.Y. New York Agent, H. H. KIFFE, 523 Broadway. . “Tp like to know who is sending q the anonymous letters,” said the head the firm, “And pfawt's that?” asked the Ir porter. “A letter without any signature. Ty makes the third one I received in ti weeks."” “ Perhaps," said Mike, “ perhaps the po man cannot write his name at all.” —Dublin W Wanted—An Idea F Sdone 5 they, ma: N WEDDERBUIN & COn Pat ington, D C., for thelr 81,800 and hew list of one thousand inventions wanted, Who can t of some ¥i