Life — June 17, 1897 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WHEELS. Father makes a century, Every other day; Lam ona racing team, Earning lots of pay; ster’s learning fancy tricks, Going on the stage; Little Dick, he holds the mile Record for his age: Mother rides with Baby Dan Tied in front—he squeals. We're the gayest folks in town, For we all have wheels. Scorching, riding all the time, Even late at night, Then again at early dawn, Por an appetite. we talk about is ** Saddles," "chains" and “tire: “ Records,” *' roads,” the " makes And each one admires Thus we spend the speeding hours, Pity each one feels For our insane neighbors, who Say that we have wheels.—Buffalo Express. ears,” ‘Tite little maiden had a French nurse, of whom she was very fond, One day the nurse departed, and her small charge wandered about the house, upstairs and down, into the garden and back again, and finally hung about her mother, who was busy just then with the baby. Receiving no attention, she turned away, saying dejectedly ; ‘‘ Nobody loves me. I guess I'll go down in the garden and eat bugs. I ate free yes'day — two smoove ones and one woolly one."—Argonaut. A LAWYER brought a suit against a rich corporation for aman of good standing in the community, and of rather exceptional attainments. In the course of his argument, he declared in a loud voice, for the purpose of gaining the sympathy of the jury:— “Gentlemen of the jury, who are the parties to this important litigation ? Why, on tre one side there 1s a powerful corporation, with an overflowing treasury, and on the other side" (pointing to his clieot, who was seated at the bar), “there is my poor, simple, un- educated client.” * Did you win your suit?” inquired a friend of the plaintiff a few days after. was the reply, ‘I won my suit; but I shall never employ that lawyer again. He called mea fool, and the jury believed it."—Green Bag. BREEZER isa little bit of a man with a good head on his shoulders and lots of ginger. His wife isa woman of magnificent proportions, beautiful and full of energy. They impress strangers as an ill-mated pair, but are happy as young lovers and just as devoted to each other. “ How did Lever get her ?”” talking to an old and inquisitive friend, ‘Quite a romance. Little out of the common, too. Kate was quite a belle and I had rivals by the score. I was handicapped by the fact that I only weighed about ninety pounds, while she was large and stately, but I wasin the running and going for alll was worth, I admit that I might have lost but for providential inter- ference. “We attended a grand concert one night. The theatre was crowded and we were pretty well to the front. In the midst of avery delightful musical enter- tainment some of the stage trappings overhead took echoed Breezer, while COPELAND AND DAY: BOSTO: New Poems. By Francis Thompson. ($1.50) Jn Titian's Garden. By Hartiet Prescott Spofford, ($1.25.) Patrins. By Louise Imogen Guiney. ($1.25.) The Land of the Dollar. By G. W. Steevens. New York: Dodd, Mead and Company. The Gadfly. By E. 1. Voynich. Holt and Company. New York : Henry fire, and despite the efforts of a few of the cooler bh to have the audience keep their seats, there was a pani-. Ever go through such an experience? Well, I hope y never may. But I'll attempt no description of Don't believe in harrowing up your feelings when there's nothing to be gained by it. I can only reme: ber in a vague way how we were buffeted and jammec; how men swore and women screamed; how Kate ke) t her head through the terrible ordeal, and how at Ja: bruised, battered and with torn clothes, we found « selves safe in the open air.” “* How in the world did you manage to rescue her?" “Rescue her? Bless your soul, man, she carried me out."—Detrott Free Press. AN old darkey was encountered by the expedit sent by Uncle Sam for the relief of sufferers by tne Mississippi floods. Uncle Eph was in a dilapidat’ looking skiff or dugout, which he was having consi- erable trouble to keep afloat, He was busy paddling with one hand and bailing out his craft with the other when the relief-boat came within hailing distance of him. The captain of the relief-boat called to h “Hello, there, uncle! What do you want?” Nothing but wings, boss,” was the answer. Argonaut Evnoreax Aogwrs—Messra, Brentano, $7 Avenue de l’Opera, For sale by all Newsdealers in Great Pritain. The Inter national News Company, Bream’s Building, London, F. 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