Life — June 10, 1897 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Na AN EPODE. Time was that Strephon, when he found A Chloé to his mind, Sought not how Dun reported her, Nor lagged while time distorted her, But rushed right in and courted her, As Nature had designed. It's different now; my Lucy, there, How gladly would I woo ! But shapes of such monstrosity, Confront with such ferocity My impecuniosity, What is a man to do? Strephon and Chloé had a hut, And though, about the door, The wolf might raise his serenade, No latter-day menagerie bayed Its warning grim to man ang maid “Wed not if ye are poor !"* But I, what monsters must I face When I for Lucy sue! What landlords roaring for their rent! What troops of duns by grocers sent ! And shapes of want and discontent Calamitous to view ! Stay, Lucy, stay! I’m bold and stout, T'll rout the grisly crew. Be constant, love ! and hope and wait, And by the time you're thirty-eight I may, perhaps, have conquered Fate, And when I've won the right to mate, If you're not too much out of date, V'll surely mate with you ! —Harper's Magazine, A GENTLEMAN invited a certain lecturer to his house totake tea, Immediately on being seated at the table a little daughter of the house said to the guest abruptly Where 1s your wife?" The lecturer, who had re cently separated from his better half, was surprised and annoyed at the question, and stammered forth the truth: I don’t know.” ‘Don't know ?” repeated the child. you know ? Finding that the child persisted in her interroga- tions, despite the mild reproot of the parents, he decided to make a clean breast of the matter, and have it over at once, so he said with calmness: ‘Well, we don’t live together. We think, as we can’t agree, we'd better not.” He stifled a groan as the child began again, and darted an exasperated look at her parents. But the little torment would not be quieted until she exclaimed: “Can'tagree! Then why dont you fight it out, the same as father and mother do ?"—Weekly Telegraph. “Do tell me something about the play," said she to the young man, ‘ They say that climax at the close of the third act was superb.” Yes, I am inclined to think it was very good.” Can't you describe it to me?” “Why, the heroine came stealthily on the stage, and knelt, dagger in hand, behind a clump of pink ribbons. The hero emerged from a large bunch of purple flowers, and as soon as she perceived him she fell upon him, stabbed him twice, and sank half-con- scious into a very handsome aigrette. This may sound queer, but the lady in front of me didn't remove her hat, and that's how it looked."— Washington Star. The other day a man was witeess to a collision between a man and woman, both cyclists, ahead of him, The latter got the worst of it, and, indeed, was knocked over, while the other wheeled away as though nothing had happened. The witness came up£and “Why don’t HARPER AND BROTHERS: NEW YORK. weet Revenge. By F. A. Mitchell. An Epistle to Posterity, By M. E. W. Sherwood. The Pursuit of the Houseboat, By John Kendrick Bangs. CHARLES ScRIO My Lord Duke. By Soldiers of Fortune. {$1.50.) R'S SONS: NEW YORK, .W. Hornung. ($1.25. By Richard Harding Davis R. FP. FENNO AND COMPANY: NE A Bit of a Foot, By Sit Robert Peel, Batt. The Massarenes. By Ovida. EASTMAN LEWIS: NEW YORK. OM, MAMMON, A Spirit Song. By Louis M. Elshemus. Lady” Elshemus, Vere, and Other Narratives, ($1.25.) By Louis M. HENRY HOLT AND comp, SEW YORK, Extracts from the Diary of Morits Svengali, lated and edited by Alfred Walch, Sketches in Lavender, Blue and Green, K. Jerome. Trans By Jerome Al Meddling Hussy. By Clinton Ross. New VY Stone and Kimball. assisted the lady to rise and remount, after that fellow,” he said, “to address." ‘* It's not a bit of good," “he's my husband !"—Argonaut, “Now Lam of get his name and she quietly replied, ““L can't help it,” said the man in the back “Ican’t believe in anything. J am a born doubter “Oh, no, brother,” began the evangelist. “But Lam. There are times when I even doubts as to the superiority of my bicycl have —Cincinnaté Enquirer, For sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The Inter pational News Company, Bream’s Bullding, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, Aorsrs, Evnorean Aoawrs—Mesare, Brentano, $7 Avenue de "Opera, Paris; Saarbach’s News Exchange, 1 Clarasti Mayence, Germany, Agente for Germany, Aurtria and Gwitserland IvoRY SOAP “A cold bath is a good tonic and nerve bracer.” If Ivory Soap is used, it is a beautifier as well. Tne Paocten & Gawore Co., Cin'th, DRINK. 10 YEARS Patronize American Industries Wear KNOX HATS. 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