Life — April 29, 1897 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

T SIS§ORS AT NVLLy A SERIOUS LOVE SPLIT. A young lady sings in our choir, Whose hair is the color of phoir, But her charm is unique, She has such a fair chique, It is really a joy to be nhoir. Whenever she looks down the aisle, She gives me a beautiful smaisle, And of all of her beaux lam certain she sheaux She likes me the best all the whaisle. Last Sunday she wore a new sacque, Low cut at the front and the bacqus, Anda lovely bouquet Worn in such a cute wuet As only few girls have the knacque. Some day, ere she grows too antique, In marriage her hand I shall sique : If she’s not a coquette, Which I'd greatly regruette, She shall share my $6.00 a wique. Norwich (N. ¥.) Telegraph. “Mr. HENPECK," said the doctor, after examination, ‘1 fear your wife's mind is gone.” “That doesn’t surprise me,” said the poor man. “She nas been giving me a piece of it every day for ten -Memphis Scimitar. A visitor in Pass Christian, Miss., the other day heard some pistol-shots, and asked a negro boy what they meant. ‘*Oh,” was the reply, “them fellows dun be shootin’ fo’ hats." ‘* Shooting for hats!" imed the visitor, ‘‘what on earth do you mean? Sure; dere is nuffin’ strange "bout dat; they's doin’ it ebry day, ‘most, When de train is comin’ dey jes’ firesdem shots when she gets good on to de bridge, an’ de men dey sticks dere heads out to see what's up, an’ de wind ‘jes takes dere hats off an‘ drops ‘em in de bay, Den dey rows around an’ picks ‘em up. Sometimes dey gets a lot of ‘em. Other day Josh Johnson got seben.” “* What does Josh Johnson do besides shoot for hat was asked, ‘Oh, he fishes an‘ does odd jobs an‘ lives." —New York Tribune. “*Wuat did Noah live on when the flood subsided and his provisions in the ark were exhausted ?" asked a Sunday-school teacher of her class, ‘I know,” squeaked a little girl, after the others had given up. “Well, what?" inquired the teacher, ‘* Dry land." —Chattanooga Times." ENGLISH INSTRUCTOR (1950): For next time you may bring me a yard and a half of description, two feet of narrative verse, a page of Steveasonesque, two pages of Henry James conversations, three sonnets, and six inches of criticism.—Harvard Lampoon, “TL may be over-careful,” she said, as she hid the plated spoons and her curling irons in the bottom of her THE CENTURY COMPANY, NEW YORK, ¢ Man Who Was Content. By Mrs. Schuyler Va Rensselaer. Nature in a City Yard, By Charles M. Skinpe, Prisoners of Conscience, By Amelia Barr. Life's Comedy. First Series. Scribner's Sons. The Bards and the Bicycle. Rochester. The Merry Maid of Arcady, His Lordship, ws Other Stories. By Mrs. Burton Harrison. Bos London and New York: Lamson, Wolffe and Coo pany. Flames, York: New York: Chara! By Edmund Redmec By Robert Hichens. Chicago and Ny Herbert S. Stone and Company. trunk before she went out shopping, “ but I just asi bear to run any risks.” Then she pinned her gold watch tothe outsideofte dress by a blue ribbon and went downtown. —Detrott Free Pres “Tue BIGLow Papers."—The New York Wor and the New York Journal. —Harvard Lampoc A POSSIBLE ASSISTANCE.—“ Willie is a remarkatt boy,” said the lad’s mother to the eminent music “He remembers every tune he hears.” “Indeed !"" “Isn't that a valuable faculty?” ““Well—it may enable him to become a succews composer."— Washington Star. For sale by all Newsdealers in Gi pational News Company, Bream'e Building. London, E. C., Eng! reat Britain. The Inter. 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The advertiser, who has had experieos the fleld of the proposed effort, will Invest bis sh of the capital needed, and the other memberé the party will be expected todo the sme, Se bat higb<class young men, who are th earnest, are desired. To such full particu bo given by letter or personal Interview, and #9 opportunity for investigation will be a Who can think — ‘of some simple] thingtopatent!) Protect your ideas: they may bring you wealth. | Write JOHN WEDDERBUKN & CO., Patent Attor-, for their $1.80 prizo offer nd inventions want Gentle Nellowness, and Great Age. Sold at all first-class Cafés ‘and by Jobbers WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore. Md drew, in confidence, “Exploration,’ Live. neya, Washington, D, C and new list of one tho “How do they know the natives ate him?” “One of the relief party found his name on the bill of fare.” Harper's Weekly. Syracuse Bicycles WOMAN'S fee _- tre Composed entirety of CRIMSON RIM QUALIT! 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