Life — April 8, 1897 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A BALLADE OF EVOLUTION, In the mud of the Cambrian main Did our earliest ancestor dive; From a shapeless albuminous grain We mortals our being derive. He could split himself into five, Or roll himself round like a ball; For the fittest will always survive, While the weakliest go to the wall. As an active ascidian again Fresh forms he began to contrive, Till he grew to a fish with a brain, And brought forth a mammal alive. With his rivals he next had to strive, To woo him a mate and a thrall; So the handsomest managed to wive While the ugliest went to the wall At length as an ape ne was fain The nuts of the forest to rive; Till he took to the low-lying plain, And proceeded his fellow to knife. Thus did cannibal men first arrive, One another to swallow and maul; And the strongest continued to thrive, While the weakliest went to the wall. ENVOY, Prince, in our civilized hive Now money's the measure of all; And the wealthy in coaches can drive While the needier go to tke wall. —Grant Allen. A New Yorker who has spent time and money in developing carrier pigeons, aad may be called Jones for short, was boasting at his club one night of tne great flights that his pigeons had made, when Brown said : “Tl bet you the best dinner the club can furnish for every one present that you haven't got a pigeon that can fly from Philadelphia to New York." ‘It will be simply robbery,” said Jones, ‘but I'll take your bet.” Brown stipulated that he should carry the pigeon to Philadelphia himself, and he did. Before releasing the bird he clipped his wings, and then he returned to New York bya slow train, “Well, I released your pigeon in Philadelphia this morning,” he said to Jones that night at the club; “has he returned yet?" ‘* Not yet,” said Jones. The next day Brown again asked Jones about the bird, and, when Jones admitted that his pigeon had not come back, claimed the bet. The owner of the pigeon said that he wouldn't admit defeat. ‘The pigeon didn't show up on the second day; but on the third day, when Brown asked jeeringly: ‘Isn't it about time for that supper? I don't suppose your pigeon has returned,” Jones replied promptly: "Yes, he has; but—er—well, his feet are very sore.” Brown paid the bet.—V, ¥. Sun. Sue: What is the difference between a trust and aring? HARPER AND BROTHERS, NEW YORK, Te Well-Beloved, By Thomas Hardy. Easter Bells, By Margaret E. Sangster. The Mistress of the Ranch. By Frederick Thicke: Clark. The American Claimant, and Other Stories, By Mark Twain, ., Ziska, By Marie Corelli. New York: Stone a4 Kimball. The Pomp of the Lavitettes, By Gilbert Patie Boston and New York: Lamson, Wolffe and Compas; The Falcon of Langéac. By Isabel Whitely. Bee ton: Copeland and Day. A Young Scholar's Letters. A Memoir of Caldwell Smith, New York and London: G. P. He: Miss—dear Mabel, if you can only trust ce I will get the ring to-morrow morning. —Cincinnati Enguirer, “THE streets of New Jerusalem," said the Res, Mr. Sprocketts, ‘are paved with the smoothest a phalt, and truck delivery wagons are not allowed cs the roads." There were eight hundred converts. —London Figare New Journattst: Candidly, it was due les enterprise than to chance that we had that vivid pict of the murder this morning. OLD JOURNALIST: Happened to have an artistes the spot, I suppose. “Oh, -no, indeed. One of our very wors’ 7 had just got the delirium tremens. It might not core that way again in a hundred years.” Detroit Journal. For sale by all Newadealers in Great Britain. The Inter. pational Xews Company, Bream’s Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, AozxTa, EVROPRAN AGENTS—Mesera, Brentano, $7 Avenue de l'Opera, 1 Saarbach's News Exchange, 1 Clarastrame, Mayence, Germany, Agents for Germany, Austria and Swit a. | CQ fedding . . and other invitations should always be printed on J Reject all compounds which dispense With honest work and common sense 3 Whiting’s oe (3 With Ivory Soap the wash is good And takes no longer than it should. Copyright 2H, by The Procur & Cambie Ca. Cat bottle of HIRES | Rootbeer? The popping of a cork froma bottle of Hires isa signal of good health and plea- sure. paper. Then they are sure to be irreproachably correct. Tell your stationer you desire to give you Whiting's Papers. NEW YORK HOLYOKE PHILADELPHIA, CHICAGO Whiting [Paper Company 18. Mat. at 2 Mon. Wed... t Eves, MISS REHAN, Mate, Wed. and sat Evenings, Tues and Prt, f : Nancy Melatos. ‘Phe GEISHA. Virginia Bart —the children can’t resist it. Patronize American industries ; Ih i timace | — Wet KNOX HATS. 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