Life — April 1, 1897 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

: A TIP TO GEORGE. King of Athens, ere you fight Listen to a lowly wight. Get those pictures that the new Journa!.sm labels you; Scatter broadcast every freak Likeness, and within a week Frightened Turks, with manner meek, Will salute you, gracious Greek. King of Athens, ere you scrap Take the tip that’s here on tap. —Baltimore News. ““FRom what you say, madam," said the divorce lawyer, your husband must have been a brute.” In- deed, sir?" responded the fair applicant. ‘1 will con- sult another lawyer. I came here to get a divorce, sir, not to hear my husband abused."—Exchange. Watxer: They say that Napoleon was so self- possessed that not even the sound of a pistol fired close to his ear could make him start. Wueeter: He wouldn't have stood much show in a bicycle race.—/ndianapolis Journal, “Tue legal business in this city is about played out,” declared the capper and steerer of a local attorney afew days ago. ‘It's got so that I can't lay up acent. The other day I steered a fellow that was being sued by a tailor for the price of a pair of pants into the office of the lawyer I’m working for, He got the job of defending share of the fee he went into his private office and came out with a pair of pants. “That's my fee,’ he said. ‘Here's your share,’ and he cut the buttons off and gave them to me." —San Francisco Post, MRs. BaXcrort, the wife of the historian, wnen staying in London, went one day to an afternoon musicale in Mayfair. On the way she was attracted by a display of shawls in a Regent Street window, and, stopping the cab, went into the shop and bought one, throwing it over her shoulders to wear to the social gathering. The astonished guests at the musicale were edified by the sight of the elegant Mrs. Bancroft floating through the drawing rooms with a placard on her back bearing the words ‘Very Chaste.” —Mlustrated American, ‘Tue Apostle Paul was hard at work on that portion ot his Epistle to the Romans now known asthe sixth chapter, when there came a knock at the door, and a fresh-looking youth stepped in, ‘* What do you want?” asked Paul. ‘1 have come, sir,” said the caller, to ask if you don’t want to hire an amanuensis.” “ Young man,” replied the Apostle, "I think I can make this hard enough for the commentators to understand with- out any outside help.” And he turned again to his manuscript.—Chicago Tribune. Wire: Why do you persist in boring us all by talking about the tariff ? Hvssanp: Simply because it is a duty. rthest North, 2 vols. By Fridtjof Nanses, New York: Harper and Brothers. A Transatlantic Chatelaine, By Helen Choate Prince. Boston and New York: Houghton, Mistie and Company. A Society Woman of Two Continents, By Sally Britton Spottiswood Mackin. New York and Londos: Continental Publishing Company. Portraiture, By C. P. Zaner. Zanerian Art College. English Versification. By E, Wadham. London: Longmans, Green and Company. Columbus, 0. “DaRLixo,” he said, falling upon his knees before her and covering her little white hands with kisses. “darling, can't you see—can't you guess that I love you?” She drew herself up to her full height, looked at for a moment and then said: ** Well, I should hate to think that this was just your natural way of behaving in company.""—Cleveland Leader. “Tury say people who live together get to look alike.” “Is that so? Well, just in the interest of scie let's try it."—Chicago Record. Sue: Did you have any trouble in getting papa to listen to you ? He: Nota bit. I began by telling him I knewet a plan whereby he could save money. it, and won it. When I went to him to get my —Detroit Free Press, —Cincinnati Enguirer, For sale oy all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The Inter- - Kvrorgax AGaxts—Messra. Brent 37 Avenue de rovers pational News Company, ream’s Baliding, Chancery Lane, Paris; seartact News Thang Carastraan May ‘AGENTS, Ivory SOAP. HUNTER BALTIMORE RYE. No other soap is found in so (10 YEARS OLD.) many homes. Warranted a PURE TONICAL STIMULANT. Te Procter & Gawoce Co., Cin’t. Recommended by Physicians and known as the CHOICEST WHISKEY For CLUB, FAMILY and MEDICINAL USE. A combination of beverage and tone, Im- | TIRADE MARK Sold at all First-class Cafes and by Jobbers. Ceili | Wee. LANAHAN & SON, BALTIMORE, MD. and Dealers, Wanted—An Idea mess LOUISE & CO. shing so pares ANNOUNCE THEIR Bas bring you wealth. i Easter Display oF Protect your ideas: Write JOHN WEDD: ‘Patent Attor- neys, Washington, D. r thelr $1,800 prize offer: Rod bew lust of one thousand Inventions wanted. 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