Life — March 25, 1897 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A CABLE-CAR CONVERSAZIONE. Time :—Nine A.M. Scexe:—A Columbus Avenue car, bound south, Mr. GLASs- MEVER, seated. At Seventy -fourth Street, enter Mr, WANSENPULVER. : M* You vas lade morning. Mr. Wan- A. SENPULVER | (taking the seat Mr, \ Glassmeyer, whick a gentle. man has just vacated in favor a lady who is hanging to Yes, Jacob, but I took Rebecca toa theatre letzt night and I overslept me myselluf. Mr. G.: I hope it wasa Kosher theatre, Isaac. Mr. W.: Zertainly. theatres is Kosher now. Mr. G.: Where it 2 Mr. W.: Der Garrick. I tell you dot Charlie Frohman vas a smart fellow. If a Christian wants to buy him a seat der cashier in der box office tells him dere ain't none, but on der sidevalk oud- side dere is von of Charlie's men who has plenty of seats vor two dollars and a helluf abiece, und Charlie makes him helluf a dollar more on each seat he sells to a Christian. Mr. G.: Dot's smart. Mr. W.: You bet it’s smart. And in- side all der ushers is nice little Kosher boys, und der brogramme is Kosher; even der little girls on der stage who don’t have nuthing to say is Kosher; everyt'ing is Kosher eggzept der actors. Mr. G.: Und der actors why not? Mr. W.: Because Charlie und his friendts haf so many theatres dot der actors can't get work unless dey works for him und for whatefer wages he wants to pay dem. Dere ain’t no Kosher actors what amounts to anything, so Charlie has to hire Christians; oddervise der actors would be Kosher too. GLASS- MEYER: dis next to strap) Almost all the “LIFE: Mr. G.: Vas der pusiness good? Mr. W.: Splendit. Dere's a Christian fool born efery minute, und dey gif up deir money to Charlie like it vas vater. All he does is to put some show-pils on der fences and some small adverteize- ments in der bapers and den der Kosher baper and der Kosher fellows what writes vor die udder bapers says Charlie Froh- man has got a good show and der Chris- tians come and gif up deir good dollars to Charlie und let der Christian butchers und bakers und doctors fistle vor deir : Vot vas der blay ? Mk. W.: It vas galled ‘‘Nefer Again.” Mr. G.: Vas it goot? Mr. W.: Der actors vas goot, but der bla vell, it was goot enough vor Christians, Somedimes it vas funny und more dimes it vasn’t. If a fellow hat nefer been to der theatre before, he would think it vas awful funny, but it was yoost like a tousant udder blays where der beople gets all mixed togedder und hide in glosets und gome oud at der wrong time und den get mixed up again. Der first act I laugh some, der segond act I don't laugh any, und der third act I get tired und would go home, only Rebecca vas sittin’ behind a Christian with dia- mond earrings und she liked to look at dem. Mr. G.: Next veek my vife und I go to a blay called ‘* De Geisha.” Mr. W.: Aber, Jacob, dot is not Kosher. Dot fellow Daly is a Christian. Mr. G.: I know, but a Christian vot is in’ to sell me some bonds gafe me der dick Mr. W.: So—dot is all ride. Pretty soon Charlie Frohman he vill haf dot fellow Daly's theatre too, und den the Christians can't go anyvere eggzept to Kosher theatres, und all der Christian actors vill be actin’ vor a dollar a veek, und Charlie Frohman und his friends vill be der only men in der pusiness. Vell, so long, Jacob. I get off here. Mr. G.: So long, Isaac. Goot luck ! . * * R, AUGUSTIN DALY'S produc- tion of ‘Meg Merrilies” turns that fine, dreary, old Scotch play into what is almost a farce comedy. Mr. Chambers, the adapter, has caused the gloomy plot to disappear utterly—which is according to the canons of farce com- edy—and the vaudeville numbers intro- duced by Mr. Daly keep the, audience's spirits up in a manner which would shock the shade of the late Charlotte Cushman. It is still a hoot-mon play, though, as is shown by the presence of a regiment of bagpipers and a liberal sprinkling of dialect, including High- land Scotch, Lowland Scotch, and hot Scotch—the last served in mugs by Mrs. Gilbert. Miss Rehan's Meg Merrilies is far from convincing. It is too much Miss Rehan and too little the hideous and mystic hag. If Mr. Daly would let the farce comedy idea extend to this character as well as to the others, and permit Miss Rehan to be as funny in the part as we all know she could be, he would have a burlesque which might rival the popularity of “‘The Geisha.” Miss Nancy McIntosh’s good singing and attractive personality, the dancing of Mr. Gresham and of Mrs. Gilbert, the antics of the Dandie Dim- mont terrier, carried by the character of that name, and the handsome enseméle in the glen scene were the most pleasing features of a production which does more credit to Mr. Daly's generosity than to his knowledge of the dreariness appro- priate to a hoot-mon play. Metcalfe. PROFESSOR GONER: Indeed, Miss Sweetly, the lower ani- mals have language. I have heard monkeys entertain each other by narrating pleasant stories. Jack Hunter: Yes, and only the other day I saw a snake get off a rat- tling good thing in the shape of a tail. EXTRACT FROM A NOVEL. ‘* YOUNG ALGERNON FITZNOODLE WAS NO MOWER.”