Life — February 4, 1897 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SPAT SeMORS Ai NLL Sayi Do you think that a metaphysician, With a long psychological plan, Could induce microscopical effort In an anthropological man? Could a flat phrenological failure, With a physiological chill, Love a sociological expert With a meteorological thrill? Could al sprinter Of a dark theological hue Gwe a nice philosophical treatise On the eyes of my Nellie so blue? Could assyriological talent Make a sweet chronological chart Of a mineralogical goldbug With a true, anatomical heart? Could a bibliographical genius With bacteriological hair ecclesiastical lecture s zoological air? Could a swift technological howler, Or rabbinical exponent true, Give a lexicographical reason Could a smooth astrological fakir With a teleological brain Give a palographical hoodoo In a long euchological strain? Do you think ethnological records, Astronomical worlds, will embue With correct biographical statements As to why Nellie’s eyes are so blue? —L. 1, McELRoy, # Chicago Record. Tite newly arrived stranger in Atlanta started up On the corner of Alabama street he encountered a tall, yellow- faced individual in a droopy coat and soiled tie. “ My good sir," said the stranger, ‘1am in search of information concerning this great State of Georgia and What Whitehall street in search of information. feel sure that you can assist me very materially. is your population ? * Dunno.” “What kind of school system have you her * Dunno.” ** How about your tax rate >" * Dunno.” * Is your government friendly or unfriendly to manu- G. P, PUTNAM’S SONS, NEW YORK AND LONvox, we the Trade Winds, By Ira Nelson Morris. That Affair Next Door, By Anna Kathe Green. STONE AND KIMBALL, NEW YORK. Mademoiselle Blanche. By John D, Barry. At the Sign of the Sphinx. By Carolyn Wells Urban Dialogues. By Louis Evan Shipma Lady Bramber’s Ghost. By Charles Carriugtua. Boss and Other Dogs. By Maria Louise Pool A Sturdy Beggar. By Charles Carrington LAMSON, WOLFFE AND COMPANY, BOSTON, NEW vor AND LONDON, dn Opal, By Edna Proctor Clarke. Wives in Exile, By William Sharp The Book of the Native, By Charles G. D. Kobers The Embassador of Christ, By James Cardin) Gibbons, New York, London and Baltimore: Jot: Murphy and Company. Historic Bubbles, By Frederic Leake, Albany Riggs Printing and Publishing Company. ‘acing the Flag. F. Tennyson Neely. By Jules Verne. New York Why the eyes of my Nellie are blue? facturing corporations >" Dunno.” Let's see —how does Georgia rank among the other . States of the South in its agricultural products ?" “What do you do?” * Dunno. “Oh, I'm just a member of the legislatur.” “Ah, you ¢ Cathoun Times. Could a methodological blockhead Having craniological feet Paint a dry neurological picture Of a wet gevlogical street? "t live here then 2” For sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The Inter Evnoreax Aogxrs—Measra. Brentano, $7 Avenue de l'Opera, wi rear’s Paris; Saarbach’s Ne Exchange, 1 Clarastrasse, Mayence, Tendon, EC, Ragland; aceera une: Chancery Tans, Germany, Agents for Germany, Austria and Switzeriand. IVORY SOA Wash doilies and other silk embroideries in a strong suds of Hunter. Baltimore Rye, The American Gentlemans) DRINK. FOR CLUB, MEDI Ivory Soap, press with a hot iron on the wrong side while they FAMILY AN) Use no starch. 10 YEARS Tne Procten & Gawace Co.. Cini weal are quite wet. You're Imposing on a long-suffering digestion Let Abbott's Original Angostara Bitters come to your rescue, All druggists and dealers, DALY'S Evenings at sts; Matinees at 2 Mon., Wed, and Fri. Evgs. and Saturday Matinee, MISS REHAN, in Much Ado About Nothing. Tues... Thurs. and Sat. Evgs, and Wednesday Matinee, THE GEISHA.” Monday, Feb. 1, Miss REMAN in The Magistrate, Wanted—An Idea sss23: Protect your ideas: they may bring you wealth. Write JOHN WEDDERBORN & CO., Patent Attor- neys, Washington, D. C., for thelr $1.80 prize offer and new list of o1 housaud inventions wanted. Patronize American industries —wear KNOX HATS. NO NEED FOR HURRY. There was a young lady of Who wanted to catch the Said the porter, ‘Don’t hurry, Or scurry, or flurr It's a minute or 2 2 2: “Mrs. O'Rooney,” said the Reverend Father MeMurphy, “why do I never see Patrick at church now ?"* Mrs, O'Rooney shook her head sadly. “Is it anarchism?" “ Warse than thot, yer riverence.” “Is it atheism?” “ Warse, your riverence.”” “What is it, then? “Rheumatism,” —Pittsburg Chronicle. Telegraph, To ladies obliged to use itis recommended becat ‘Absolute Purity, Gentle Nettowncss, st Great Age. Sold at all first-class Caja and by fobbers, WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, -Tit- Bits. ns Daily for Chicago-NEW YORK CENTRA Comicbooks.com