Life — January 28, 1897 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ITEMS FROM BILLVILLE. Tiere has been a great fall in cotton and snow in this vicinity. We've been postmaster for three years, but to break the record and resign—as soon as our successor is appointed. Our friends who came to spend Christmas with us last June are still here; but McKinley hasn't reduced the price of groceries yet Home life in Billville is just like being in the legisla- ture. The old lady is speaker of the house, and we have mighty hard work to get her to recognize us, What hope beneath the stars and stripes ? In temperance p And then behold the water pipes, Go on a regular * bust." —Atlanta Constitution, “Hane this fog!" “What's the matter?" “Why, it’s so thick I just walked into one of my Cleveland Plain Dealer. Sunpay Scnoot. TEACHER : Now, boys, speak right up, and answer promptly: Who carried off the gates of Gaza? EVERY Boy (promptly and in chorus): "Twa'n't me. Ididn't touch them.—/ousehold World. creditors.” Ox the occasion of the Lord Mayor's visit to North London recently a captain was heard to remark to his corps: ‘Close up, boys; close up! If the enemy were to fire on you when you are straggling along like that ey wouldn't killa single man of you. Close up!” —London Tit-Rits, reat Britain. The ¢ Building, Chancery national Ne Lane The price of good things oft is high, But wise housekeepers tell That Ivory Soap is cheap to buy And best to use, as well. Copyright 1098, by The Procter & Cambie Ce, Cia"a A LOVELY WEEK. “Such a lovely week as I've had of it!” said the volatile Miss Giddygadd to Miss L. Marguerite Rose- budd, between the acts at the mati “Such a per- fectly charming wee! “Yes, dear? Well, I've had a lovely time, too. Saw you at the De Lange's Monday night.” ** Oh, lovely affair, wasn't it?" “ Lovely.” “Perfectly so. Were you at Miss De Gal's ‘at home ‘Tuesday afternoon?” “Ves, indeed ; and it was a lovely affair. go?” “No; I bad to pour for Helen Shoddy’s tea that after- noon.” “Oh, of course. [saw you there. How stupid of me to forget. But I went to four teas that afternoon. Lovely affairs, all of them ““T went to two Wednesday afternoon, and to Mrs. Upstart’s musicale and dance in the evening. Had a lovely time at the Upstarts.”” Sodid I. Lovely little dance, wasn’t it?” “ Lovel: Didn't you a at Birdie Gabbleton’s luncheon Thursday ternoon. Lovely affair, wasn't it?” “* Perfectly elegant. Birdie does entertain so sweetly. e went with me to Mrs, Brainless's four-to-six after the luncheon,” “ Have good time?” “Lovely. Perfect jam of people. Street packed with carriages. Dining-room all pink and green. Oh, lovely! Elegant refreshments. Orchestra behind palms OMT FOR GREAT @mITAIN BY JA) UNDER TRE ACT OF 10) 8 MENDEWSON in the hall—just lovely! And, ob! what ap exquisy little german that was at Mrs, Clement-Jones’s Th:s| day night!” “Wasn't it, though! And such a ravishing | pretty dresses, and the supper served by De Centi “Heavenly, wasn't it? Then I saw you ac Mad Frothingly’s morning whist party on Friday, ao; Mrs, Lollypad’s great reception in the afternoon, w didn’t I catch a glimpse of you at Mrs. Posincley's the evening?" “Yes, I looked in for a few minutes on my wa the De Huntley's great ball. That ball was jv loveliest of lovely balls.” “Really?” “Oh, it was, Then I'd a lovely time at the readi: by Professor De Checkley at Mrs. Stone-Murray's: morning, and here’s this lovely matinée this afterso and I've an elegant dinner on hand for this ing.” “Dear me, life is worth living; now, isn’t it? “Indeed it is, when one can have such charming times as we've been having all winter had such a lovely week, haven't you?” “Oh, lovel: “Charming!” ** Perfectly so!"—New York Herald, erfex * Don’ you think you are letting Ethel associates much with the servants? You know a child sofess picks up their incorrect ways of speech.” “know that; but I want her to get so familiar ¥i servants that she will not be afraid of them when & has a house of her own."—Cincinnatié Enguirer EvRoreax AGENTS—Mesera Brentano, 37 Avenue de VOpera. aarbach’s News Exchange, 1 Clarastrase, M: jermany, Austria and Switzerland, A JOYOUS BALLAD OF CLUB COCKTAILS. LLL. me where, in what land of shade, Dwells young Bacchus, the god of wine? Let him he: made Tho’ I try my be: Where is the liquor that can compete a With them for aroma and mellow blend ? Cramps, flatalence, Indigestion—three things Clear as to color and dry or sweet; that Abbott's—the orlginal Angostura Bitters |witl prevent or care, Drageists and dealers. Ever ing Mi peare’ Much ical Comedy, 1 a ‘AdatRehan wo “ieatrice” ues, Thurs. and Sat y. THE GEIS Ado About Nothing. Mat. Wed., The ( nings at 8.15, Matinees at & . Every Moo.. Wed., and Fri. ‘Ado About Nothing. WA. Mat. Sat, Mueb, aes? \ ENVO. to patent? Prot Attorneys, D 7 ALL,IMPORTED TOBACCO. HIGHEST IN PRICE, WANTED—AN IDEA, to can think of wealth. Write JOH 91,800 prize offer Patronize sabe gan think of Prince, it is true. lect your ideas: they may bring you X WEDDERBURN & CO.,Paient 4 itst of 20) inventions wanted. American industries. WE 2g5c. a Bundle, ro in Bundle. Trial Package in Pouch by mail for 25¢. H, ELLIS & CO,, Baltimore, Md. Tue American Tonacco Co., Succeseor. HAMILTON HOTEL PAY HAMILTON, BERMUDA. |IPOST- Open December until May. | MEAD & BROOKS, Managers. ACE. In praise of his Club Cocktails divine. Smooth as velvet and superfine, ‘ectar ambrosial, all ready made; Totell of their taste, ab! language fails— in these songs of mine, I can't do justice to Club Cocktails! To the connoisseur's taste complete— A proper bumper to pledge a friend, A health at parting or a toast to greet. .| A drink for all seasons, but what avails ? Though I sung their praises until the end, Mninen the Japenese Me- I can’t do justice to Club Cocktails! But still allow— Tho’ to tell their virtues thy poet fails— C. 11, Washington, D.C., for thelr) Yet, had he a bottle open now He could do justice to Club Cocktails. Francois Villon, Jr. All you have guessed about life insurance may be wrong. 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