Life — January 28, 1897 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TO THE JOYS ABOVE obscurity in America. Henry Irvingand Mrs. Ken- dal—the noble British mother —visit us annually, ata great crifice of time and money, simply to elevate our arti: and dramatic standards; and certainly the leaven of nobil- ity was needed fifty years ago. It is a strange fact, worthy of scientific investigation, that nearly all the noble exiles who landed here have disappeared in Indiana, Ohio and New Jersey. Perhaps this noble strain may account in those com- monwealths for the lack of purcha able voters. , « e« much more HE tradition of these unclaimed estates, which have kept a long line of nervous Lord Chancellors awake nights, has always existed here, and the development of the Family History in our literature has awakened new interest in them. The circulars of toiling gentlemen in London, who yearn and ache to restore these es- tates to their owners, leave it beyond a doubt that a majority of the Brit- is stocracy is hidden away in our rural districts, the attractions of a rustic democracy outweighing the glittering depravity of royal courts. It is well known that, if certain un- pretentious Indiana farmers had their ‘LIFE: ancestral rights, Queen Victoria would not be prancing round with a six-pound crown on her head, giving picnics and church sociables to Eu- ropean tyrants. Documents con- cealed in the Tower of London best explain why so many of the nobility took steerage passage to America, and why they preferred agriculture to society on our soil, The fact that the British aristocracy has a penchant and the for barmaids, soubrettes, daughters of Chicago millionaires, indicates why they mar- ried into the families of husbandmen and led lives of bucolic bliss here, and explains the existence on our soil of so many humble, horny-fisted members of the nobility, WOULD ‘TWERE EVER THUS!" Tt is pleasant to know that there are estates and titles enough unclaimed in England to go round every American family; and certainly no self- respecting American should be without one when he can so easily communicate with London, enclosing a small fee for express charges. Highly respectable London at- torneys, who are vouched for by reliable Washington pen- sion agents, assure us that it is as easy to secure an estate and title over there as to acquire a war pension over here. It is true that the Lord Chancellor does not adver- tise for the heirs of unclaimed estates; but one cannot expect a Lord Chancel- lor to become an advertising agent, demanding space top of column next to reading matter. And morcover, if our people cannot be persuaded to read the divorce notices in Oklahoma and Dakota newspapers, how can the Chancellor hope to excite a pi ate interest in the personals of the London Times? se ee I’ because of this absurd haughti- ness of the Lord Chancellor, and the strange indifference of our people to the glamour of courts and wealth, that these legal philanthropists of Lon- don seek to interest American citizens through the medium of circular liter- ature. Our people are now waking up to the matter, and at an early date, when our honest and confiding rural inhabitants have taken posses- sion of their ancestral acres, the destinies of the British mpire will be controlled by n American House of Lords Joseph Smith. ion- THE PROPER HEAD FOR IT. sf E ERE isa joke about anelectric shock,” said the humorist. “Put itunder the head of ‘Current Fun,'” replied the editor. BUT THIS WAS TOO MUCH, EVEN FOR HIM: