Life — January 21, 1897 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ATSERGORS A Nally Oxcr when the Pensacola was coming up to San Francisco from the South Seas, somewhere off Hono- lulu she met a gale that almost laid her down, Car- penter McGloin, a privileged character, who invariably became seasick in heavy weather, promptly went to bed. Finally it was reported to the captain that some- thing was wrong with the foretopmast. The captain sent for McGloin, and the carpenter staggered on deck “Get up there,” commanded the captain, ‘*and see what's the matter at the foretop.” ‘* Up that mast?” gasped McGloin, The proposition so dazed him that he lost his breath, ‘Up that mast,” reiterated the captain, “and find out what's the matter at the fore- top." Captain,” said McGloin, in a last despairing protest, ‘do you really mean that you want me to go up that mast in this storm, with this ship going this way, and see what's wrong with that foretop?” ** You heard what I said,” exclaimed the captain, losing pa- tience at last; ‘you get up that mast, and be quick about it, too.” “Captain,” said MeGloin, solemnly, “if th four-inch plank from here to Brooklyn I'd walk home."—Argonaut, re was Dr. Howey, Archbishop of Canterbury, who died in 1848, upheld the dignity of his position in the fashion deemed necessary One day he drove up to the door of the House of Lords in a coach-and-four, with liveried coachman and two footmen. A Quaker, who knew him, addressed him: *Briend Howley, what would the Apostle Paul have The Inter- Bream's Building. Chancery Lane, AGENTA. For sale by all Newadealers in Great Britain. naland, national News London, E. said if he had seen these four horses and the purple liveries and all the rest?” The Archbishop, who was seldom flustered, replied with a benignant smile: ** Doubtless the Apostle would have remarked that things were very much changed for the better since his time."—Exchange, Everyone knew old Dr, Balfour, He was a good man and a pious. Yet could he swear when occasion was ripe. Only a few days before his death he visited a patient who had been bedridden for some time and asked after his health. “Oh, poorly, poorly, Doctor,” the sick man moaned. “Did you take the medicine I sent you?” “Oh, Doctor, it ain't medicine I need. What I 1 is prayer, prayer, prayer!” “*Well, I'll pray for you,” cheerily said the doctor, and down on his knees he went, praying fervently and with zeal. “Now, do you feel better? that medicine?” he said when he had risen. No, Doctor,” whined the patient, ‘I reckon not.” “Then die and be d—d!" exclaimed the good phy- sician, unable longer to stand the strain, and out he walked, raging like a lion.—New Yor Press. Are you going to take A Lapy had issued invitations for a party of twelve, and on the morning of the appointed day, when con- ferring with the footman, she discovered that one of the twelve silver shells in which scalloped oysters were to be served had been misplaced. Rigid search for the udliver's Travels. London: J, M. . Lo-To-Kak. By Verner Z. Reed, New York a! London: Continental Publishing Company. Uncanny Tales. By Mrs, Molesworth. Longmans, Green and Company. New Yo Solomon Crow's Christmas Pockets, and Other Talk By Ruth McEnery Stuart. New York: Harper wil Brothers. Sappho. By Alphonse Daudet Frith, London: J. M. Dent. Translated by Hee First Annual Report of the Commissioners of ertes of the State of New York, missing article having proved unavailing, the ls decided that, sooner than give up that particular ¢ she would simply decline oysters when they were hané«| her, and so the eleven shells would be sufficient, happened that, when the oysters were served at di the hostess was en; avery animated convers, with one or two of her neighbors, and, forgetting § determination, took one of the shells of oysters and x it before herself. If the servant's heart fell in constera tion at this he gave no external sign of it, but ing in tones distinct though low, said, respe “Excuse me, madam, but you said I was to remin that the doctor forbade your eating oysters.” —Argonant “L pox’r know," cried the excited feminine vo the darkness, ‘whether you are my husband ora bu but I'm going to be on the safe side and shoot. —Tid-Bit ows Exe 1 EUROPEAN AOEXT#—Mesars. Brentano, $7 Avenue de l’Opera, change, 1 Clarasti Paris; Saarbach’s Germany, Agents for Germany, rasee, ‘Austria and Switeerland. IVORY SOAP “A cold bath is a good tonic and nerve bracer.” If Ivory Soap is used, it is a beautifier Tne Procter & Gawaie Co., Cmte as well. There are other bitters called Angostara, but there's only one that’s Abbott's. merchants. genuine original Angostura— Druggists, grocers, wine DALY'S THEATRE, Frenings $15; Mat. Inces Friday ing. Evening, To-day and jan. th, “Drink HUNTER RYE. WANTED—AN IDEA. HUNTER BALTIMORE PURE & MELLOW, The American Gentlema: Driet| For Club, Family and Medicinal Use THE BEST WHISKEY IN AMERICA Endorsed by leading Physicians when stimulant is prescribed. SOLD AT ALL FIRST-CLASS CAFES AND BY JOBBERS. WM. LANAHAN & SON, BALTIMORE, MO. 10 YEARS It Is pure. Who can think of implething) to patent? Protect your iden Write JOHN WEDDE. ys, Dept. C. 11. Washington, $1,809 prize of iist of 200 inv Patronize American industries —wear KNOX HATS, HAMILTON HOTEL HAMILTON, BERMUDA. Open December until May. MEAD & BROOKS, nay bring you &CO.,Patent D.C, for thelr tone wanted, |. Managers. NEW YORK CITY. Theodore B. Starr's establishment, at 206 Fifth avenue and 1,126 Broadway, was more seriously crippled by the fire which occurred | ‘on the morning of December joth than was reported at the time, The damages to the building were such that extensive repairs will have to be made, unfitting the place for business during their progress. A tem-| porary removal has been made to 218 Fifth avenue, on the corner of Twenty-sixth | street, where the stock is now displayed as advantageously as the smaller quarters will allow.