Life — January 7, 1897 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

R. Sins, the playwright, tells this story about Switzerland: A referendum was approaching its com- pletion. The votes had been given and the chairman was ready to declare the figures. In this moment of anxious expectation, when the fortunes of the country were at stake, a voice from the public gallery was heard crying, ‘Waiter! The result was instantaneous. The whole sovereign assembly of the Swiss people rose to its feet as one man and answered, “ Yes, sir Argonaut, Tue grocer was weighing some sugar for the woman in the dyed blue bonnet, when the man in the black frock-coat and yellowish-white tie, who had been stand- ing in the door for some minutes, came inside and laid a silver quarter on the counter. “picked it up on the floor, just at the edge of the steps," he said. ‘It must belong to you. A quarter or athousand dollars, sir—it isthe principle of t that I look at. I want nothing that is not mine is the mone! The grocer laid a large forefinger on the quarter and shoved it back across the counter. “You put dot money in your pocket, mein friend,” he said, “* But, sir, you or one of your clerks must have dropped it, and it rolled over there. My motto has always been—" “T believe,” said the grocer, ‘dot you yoost moved your family in dot house agross the street dis morgen ; vas it not so?” “Yes, sir, I did, and it being convenient, we expect to do a good deal of tra— For sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The Inter. national News Company, Bream’s Building, Chancery Lane, ‘London, E. C., England,’ Aoxsrs. “ You put dot quarter back in your pocket righd away New Roomer (sarcastically): Is this all the soap: Dot vas not mein quarter. You put him back in your is in the room? pocket, und ven your vife come ofer vor dose groceries Lanptay (decidedly): Yes, sir; all I will allows you vill remember dot my derms vas spod cash efery “Well, I'll take two more rooms; I've got to was time."—Detroit Free Press. face in the morning."—Baltimore News. Bisnor Duptey (Episcopal) of Kentucky, when he was hunting and fishing recently, made the acquaint- Ir is not generally known here where artists »: ance of an old mountaineer, who took a great fancy are more familiar than their faces —that George to him without suspecting that he wasa bishop. When Maurier and Laurence Alma Tadema resembled the bishop was about to go home he invited the old anotherto an amazing degr man to come to Louisville to hear him preach. their intimate friends mistook them. ' ** Preach? Whut, you preach? Kin you preach ez well who prided herself that she had no difficulty in 4 ez you kin shoot an’ fish?” mining which was which, finding herself once se “Better. No joke. Come Sunday with your best next to Du Maurier, remarked: “I cannot imagices clothes, and I'll give you a front seat,” any one can mistake you for Mr. Tadema. To me 4 The old chap there, right up in front, and re- likeness is very slight, By the way, I have a phot mained until the bitter end, after which he hurried for- of you. Do be so good as to put your autograph te: ward to shake the bishop's hand. “Parson,” he cried Du Maurier, assenting graciously, the photograpsq warmly, ‘1 don't know a great de about your creeds produced. ‘He looked at it, sighed, and very ged and dogmatics, but I've riz and sot with you every jiaid iton thetable. ‘* That,” he remarked, ‘* is a9 time !"—The Wave. trait of Mr. Alma Tadema."—Detrott Free Press. Tue boys of Yale in the old days used to bribe the printers’ “devils” to get proofs of the examination A FOREIGNER of German extraction, who had bee papers for them. When the college authorities put a this country only a few months and could speak stop to this practice, a bright idea seized one fellow, little English, entered one of the big State street s and he saved the whole suffering party. He hired one theother day, inquired for the manager, said that hed of the printers (it was summer) to wear a pair of white dead broke and wanted a chance to go on the road trousers to the office, and at noon to sit down onthe —_salseman for the firm, “form” in which were locked the precious questions, “Have you ever had any experience?” The inky seat of that pair of trousers sold for adeal Oxperienc c than the clothes were worth in their original spot- Yes—what have you ever sold?” Irgonaut. “My overcoat."—Chicago Times-Herald. EvRoreax Aorxts—Messra, Brentano, $7 Avenue de l'Opera, Paris; Saarbach’s News Exchange, 1 Clarastrasse, Mayence, Germany, Agents for Germany, Austria and Switseriand, HUNTER BALTIMORE RYE. Recommended by Physicians No other soap is found in so . re many homes. Tne Procten & Gawore Co., Cin'th. CHOICEST WHISKEY For CLUB, FAMILY and MEDICINAL U: The genuine Is always best. Abbott's Original Angostura Bitters ds the only enuine. ‘Alds ADE MARE Sold at all First-class Cafes and by Jobbers. digestion. AM druggists, grocers and wine | WWM. LANAHAN & SON, BALTIMORE, M merchants. WANTED—AN IDEA, YW can think thing to patent? bring you wealth Patent Attorneys, Dept, C. 11, Washington, D.C., for their $1,900 prize offer and list of 20 inven: co. tons want of some simple ptect_ your Write JOHN ¥ Patronize American Industries nt" a8 = “* Because they know he will be spending —wear KNOX HATS. tuoney as long as he ean rae ace —Chicago Record. HAMILTON HOTEL | The Fesusive view—Welt: Did youen-| joy the performance last night? HAMILTON, BERMUDA. Belle: No, it was stupid. Nearly every! Open December until May. | woman in the house took her hat off, and there was nothing to look at but the play. PARK & TILFORD, Agents. MEAD & BROOKS, Managers. | —Philadelphia Record. Best Line to Chicago and the West—THE NEW YORK CENTRA — an