Life — December 5, 1896 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LUS YANKEE WAYS. THe Couriers private"Pekin wire brings an inter- esting account of the audience which the Dowager Em- press gave to Li Hung Chang last ‘week on his arrival in the Celestial City, The Viceroy, approaching the effulgent preserve of the throne on his hands and knees, lightly brushed the dust from her majesty’s diminutive sandals with his lips, and, rising to a kneeling posture, asked: “* How old are— The absent-minded Earl did not check himself in time, and his face grew ashy pale as t Dowager Empress transfixed him, The courtiers held their breath, and a few who hated Li sniggered in their ample sleeves, “*What nonsense is this, Li?" asked the Empress. “* How dare you ask how old Lam? You have my birth- day book, haven't you ? “Pardon, pardon, O Lignt of Asia,” cried Li “For the moment I thought I was addressing Victoria of England. “Well, that was stupid of you, I'm sure,” said the Empress, drumming impatiently on the arms of th throne. “1 hope you don’t think | look like that dowdy old frump.” “Goodness, no,” said Li, “but she was the last thing in the way of a royalty that I saw on my travels, and for an instant I forgot where I was at “Where you were what ?” “At. That's an Americanism, you ought te to America, It ki e eyes of the you know. Say, © eye out of any country I traveled throu; Is that an Americanism, too, that o} al obser- Say, you can talk any See? All you want is th fF mouth make just the lan) way in America hts, and you eit likes to TT SEl9SORS AT NvLLy fit the thoughts. It’s out of sight when you get onto it. But, talking about America, if you go there it'll kill you dead to—"" There was a shriek from the Dowager Empress. “Guards! Guards!" she cried. ‘Oh, what will? What will?" “*What'll what?” asked Li, petulantly. “What'll kill me dead?" And the Dowager Em- press shuddered, Li uttered a blood-curdling American oath under his breath. Then aloud he said: ‘Nothing would, I guess, Isimply meant that you would be amazed to see the tall buildings in America—twenty stories high, ten times as high as your Majesty's imperial palace. ‘There's not a pagoda in all China half as high as the highest of these.” Dowager narrowed her eyelids and smiled iously. “We always held you in high esteem as “but you seem to have added to your accomplishments during your sojourn in foreign parts. What'll you take >" “Oh, any old thing. I meant Butif 1 ‘Pardon again, O daughter of heaven. that I left the matter to your unparalleled self tit bea gin rickey. ** What in the name of all that’s celestial is that 2” “I's hot stuff, O Empress; a new drink lately in- vented by an American statesman. Lo Feng Luh can mix it to your sacred Majesty's exalted taste, to say noth- ing of my humble and wretched one.” “Lo Feng Luh retreated backward out of the pres- ence to mix the gin rickey, and Li continued: “Your Omnivorous-1 mean om) nt—Majesty may doubt me when I speak of the tall buildings of America, but even they are not so amazing as the elevators in them. I had heard tell of these machines, but experience of them surpasses the wildest preconception. They are out of sigh be commanded to choose THE WISE AND SUCCESSFUL PUBLISHER knows that the prosperity of his periodicai largely depends on . . 2... LIFE is printed by the. . RICHARD K. FOX PRESS FRANKLIN SQUARE NEW YORK CITY = S| MMS IMME NL ILENE SESS Se So So Sl So Me Slo Mop CAREFUL PRINTING A COMPLETE PLANT PERFECT RESULTS PROMPT SERVICE here you go dropping into America again, Lee ow is it you say it? Oh, yes: ‘It'll kill you deas if you don’t cure yourself of that habit."" “That isn't just the way they use it in America “You ought to make it more figu Well, I didn’t mean it in a figurative « Li, 1 meant it literally. Please to bear t! Ah, there's Lo with the drinks, What do you call ‘ex rickets keys: gin rickeys. Here's to you. 0 fi Asia, flower of the sun, daughter of the « forth; and to America, and to Mr. Rickey go! May you live long and pro-w. he heads of the Dowager Empress ay tipped back, and were only tipped forward The Dow smacked her lips, and looked critically ix: the glasses were drained. thoughtful the glass. * Well,” said Li, ‘it's great, isn't it?" “TL don't think —" said the Dowager Frpress. wild burst of laughter broke from the lips of Li Chang. He doubled up on the floor and roll fully at the feet of the Dowager E wrathful eyes bent upon him, con re you mad ?"' she cried. “'Ldon’t think,’ shrieked Li, and rolled vulsive merriment. ‘1 don’t think.’ ‘That's 100 good Why, that's an awful Americanism “1 was about to say, when you interrupted ped the Dowager Empress, that I don't think I lit your friend Mr. Rickey’s drink. “Ob,” said Li. “Yes. ‘Oh.’ You've got into too free a wa rupting and doing the talking yourself You banished from our presence for 30 days.” And that is why and how Li Hung C race for disregarding the formalities in palace.—Auffalo Courier. 1 to speak. of io mpress Framed Proofs of Originals from LIFE ROOFS of any of the original dia from LIFE will be furnished, suitabl daintily framed, on application, Large double page drawings, including frame and transportatica within 100 miles from New York City, $40 Smaller drawings, $2.00. Proofs without frames at half the abot prices. 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