Life — December 3, 1896 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NOTHING LEFT BUT THE TOUCH-HOLE. Ex-Governor Sivox B. BUCKNER, ina signed letter to the Louisville Courier-Journal, gives his reason for opposing the Chicago ticket, and in the same connection tells this story: “In viewing this remarkable relic of the Democratic party one involunta- rily recurs to the story of the Revolutionary musket. ‘Here,’ said an old gentleman to his young friend, ‘is a family relic ot which Lam proud, and the sight of which should inspire in your heart feelings of the loftiest patriotism. It isa musket borne by my father in the Revolution- ary war, and before its deadly aim many a redcoat has bit the dust in that struggle for human liberty. The young man nandled the venerable relic tenderly a long and patriotic contemplation he at length ventured to ask : “But, where is the bayonet ?” “'Oh,’ said the old man, ‘one of the boys was poking fora ‘coon in a hol- low tree and broke it, and the pieces are lost.” “Where is the ramrod?" “Why, that was splintered’so badly that I had a new one made of iron at the blacksmith’s shop.’ “ ‘But,’ said his young friend, ‘these look like fresh marks on the stock.’ +4Oh, yes,’ was the reply, ‘Jim broke the stock last year cracking hickory nuts, and | had a new one made." “Why, this don't look like a very old barrel.” “Well; the barrel bursted last hog-killing time, so I've got a brand new ne. oe eL didn’t know," said the young man, ‘that they used percussion locks in the Revolutionary musket.’ +1 believe,’ responded the old gentleman hesitatingly, ‘that the touch-hole is left.'"—New York Herald. Ste—Dear me! Why don't they teach ‘choruses to sing intelligibly ? It ating to be unable to distinguish the words. He—You don’t know your luck, I have read the libretto.—/ndianapolis Journal. sd ye BENEDICT'S TIME. Beeman s— (Trae Marg) DIAMONDS and WATCHES a SPECIALTY. Importers and Manufacturers Chains, Rich Jewelry and Silverware. “THE BENEDICT”’ TRADE MA‘K.) Only perfect cuffs, aleeve and collar button made. "All in one piece. Goca in like a wedge and flies around across the battonbole. —. | Strong, durable, and can be ‘adjusted’ with perfect ease. No wear “M310 2018 or tear. None genulne but those baving the name ** Benedict and date of Patent stamped upon them BENEDICT BROTHERS, 171 Broadway, con. Comtianor er. New YORK. ESTADLISHED 1022. The label of every bottle of genuine Farina Cologne bears the word. ** Gegeniiber.”’ See that this label is on the bottle you buy. ARTFORD, NEW vorkK, Send for free pamphlets to Schletfetin & Co., Sole Agents, New York, THE ORIGINAL Pepsin Gum CAUTION. —See that the name Beeman ‘wrapper. The Perfection of bod s Delicises Bemedy fer Tadigertica and Cea Gickners Send Se, for sample package. Beeman Chemical Co. “$3 Labo Bt, Cleveland, 0. meat Pepsin Ghewing Gum. L o em G4 COUGHS.COLDS AND 2% ALL BRONCHIAL AND PULMONARY AFFECTIONS. ‘THE proud lips of the maiden curled. “So, Algernon Thinklittle,” she sneered, ‘you say that you love me! Do you love me better than Richard Winebiddel, who signed the temperance pledge forme? Do you care more for me than James Locust, who thrashed two men twice his size for saying that in my new theatre hat I looked like an animated feather duster? Do you—" “Stop, Regina Blueblood,” cried the young man, and the light of high resolve came into hiseyes. ‘I love you more than all these. I swear it. I shall rest my head every night on that pine needle sofa cushion you gave me.” “Algernon,” murmured the young woman, “I have been cruel. Forgive me. I don't think that I can get ready for the wedding in less than six weeks," And Algernon pined no more.—New York Herald, A farmer traveling in a foreign land, becoming anxious about the con- dition of his live stock, telegraphed home: “Ts things all right at the barn ? JouN Bree His stable-boy, whose conversation was proverbially laconic, immediately telegraphed back ‘ “ JouN Bret Things is, Roser.” —Vouth's Companion. ‘A COMPARISON, The gay chrysanthemum is here once more; Like to the mild skye terrier's shagginess Its unkempt petals loosely wave before The youth who peers above them in distress. And ruthlessly into his eyes they get; They also tickle him about the nose, A blooming nuisance ’tis, i’ faith ; and yet Without it none who seeks * the proper” goes. Oh, humble cabbage, why do none rehearse Your merits o'er this efflorescent cheat ? You cost a trifle while it drains the purse ; You're also larger and you're good to eat. —Washington Star. PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD COMPANY. Personally - Conducted Tours. MATCHLESS IN EVERY FEATURE. CALIFORNIA LIFORNIA and the PACIFIC ST will leave New York and Philadelphia }- . February 24, and March 27, 187. Five weeks in California on the first tour, and four weeks on the second. Passengers on the third tour will return on regular trains within nine months. Stop will be made at New Orleans for Mardi-Gras festivities on the second tour. FLORIDA Jacksonville tours, allowing two weeks in Florida, will leave New York and Philadelphia January 26, February 9 and 23,and March 9, 189i. Rate, covering expenses en route in both directions, $0.00 from > York, and $8.00 from Philadelphia, WASHINCTON Tours, each covering « period of three days, will leave New York and Philadelphia December Jean, January 21, February 11, March ll, April Land 22, and a, 1807. Rates, including transportation and two days’ accommodation at the best Washington Hotels, $14.50 from New York, and $11.0 from Philadelphia. Old Point Comfort Tours RETURNING DIRECT, OR VIA RICHMOND and WASHINGTON will leave New York and Philadelphia, December >. 1s January 283, February 20, March 18, and April 15, is on each Chewing Gum For detailed itineraries and other information, apply at ticket agencies or address Geo. W. Boyd, Asst. Gen'l Pass. Agent, Broad Street Station, Philadeiphi LONDON comicbooks.com