Life — November 5, 1896 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BILL OF PARTICULARS. Goon MIntsTER (to @ man wishing to be married)—Do you wish to marry this woman ? Max—I do. MINISTER—Do you wish to marry this man ? Wowasx-I do. MixisteER—Do you “like the city asa place of residence ? Max—No; the suburbs. MINISTER—Do you like the suburbs ? Womax—No, in- deed; I prefer the city MINISTER-Are you a vegetarian in diet ? MAN—No; I hate vegetables. I live on beef. Womax—I I prefer can't. bear meat. 1 am a vegetarian. MixisteR—Do Woma: closed. No; it would kill me. I wantall windows STER—Do you like a light in the room ? No; can't sleep witha light ; want the room MINisTeR—Are you afraid in the dark ? Womax—Indeed Lam. I always have a bright light in the room. MINISTER—Do you like many bed-clothes ? Max—AllI can pile on. MixtsTER—Do you ? Womax—No ; they suffocate me. MinisteR—I hereby pronounce you man and wife, and may the Lord have mercy on your souls. —New York Weekly. AN Englishman at a dinner once told a tale of a tiger he had shot which measured twenty-four feet from snout to tail-tip. Every one was astonished, but no one ventured to insinuate a doubt of the truth of the story. Presently a Scotchman told his tale. He had once caught a fish which be said he was unable to pull in alone, managing only to land it at last with the aid of six friends, ‘ It was a skate, and it covered two acres.” Silence followed this recital, during which the offended HARPER AND BROTHERS, NEW YorK, E SIONS AND EXPERIENCES. Howells Green Fire. By Fiona Macleod. Limitations, By E. F, Benson. A Rebellious Heroine, By John Kendrick Bangs, POM, MEAD AND COMPANY, NEW York. Kate Carnegie, By lan Maclaren, Captain Shannon. By Coulson Kernaban A Book of Scoundrets, ; By Charles Whibley, y, Yor : The Macmillan Company. Sentimental Tommy. By J. M. Charles Scribner's Sons. Not Without Honor, delphia: Arnold and Compan The Epistolary Flirt, Way and Williams, Letters of Victor Hugo. Boston and New York: pany. Barrie. New By William D. Moffat. Py By Esmerie Amory. Chia Sdited by Paul Mes Houghton, Mifflin a said the offender, slowly, with the air of one makity great concession, ‘tell him if he will take ten feed that tiger, I will see what I can do with the fish. Iya dreamy, abstracted manner Pygmalion pick up a robe and threw it over the lovely figure the warm blood had scarcely more than begun 2 sb u like a sleeping-room well venti- Englishman left the table. The host followed. Atter returning, he said to the Scotchman; “Sir, you have insulted my friend. You must apologize.” ‘‘I dinna insoolt him,” said the Scot. ‘* Yes, you did, with your two-acre fish story. You must apologize." ‘ Well,” sate. lated ? was thinkin, Max—Yes: and winter MiNtsTER—Do you like so much fresh air ? I want the window away down, summer from his reverie, * if 1 had offered to set you up in the Boston library “What is it, my master?" asked Galatea. replied the sculptor, rousing hins! what a frost you would have Chicago Tribe The Inter- Bream's Building, Chancery Lane, AGENTA, For sale by all Newadealers in Great Britain, national News Eondon, Cy England, ECROrrA® AQENTs—Mexsra Brentano, 37 Avenue de Opera, Paris; Saarbach's News Exchange, Germany, Agents for Germany, Austria and Switzeriand. 1 Clarastrasse, Mayence, oi aw ¥'SOKP is 4 When office work has tried the nerve "And taxed both hands and brain, er A quick, cool wash with Ivory serve PARK & TILFORD, Agents. To soothe and ease the strain. . . ACADEMY iets A FOUR WEEKS’ SEASON, Commencing Monday, Oct, 26th, at ko'elock ~ | TALIAN GRAND OPERA ty te NEW IMPERIAL OPERA CO. Operatic Director, Cou. J. H. MAPLysox Many Celebrated Artist Increased Orchestra. RAND CONCERT SUNDAY EV Irving I'L Don't wait till you get sick. 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