Life — October 1, 1896 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

T SAISORS AT NLL SAFEST WAY. “Mother, may I go out to fly?” “Yes, dear. Climb some mound, Get into your flying machine And stay right on the ground.” —Chicago Tribune. My old friend, Rush Strong, one of the big mer- chants of Tennessee, with money to burn, got his start in life by a neat trick that advertised his business all over the South. The county was about to hold a fair, and each merchant offered a prize for the best of some- thing in his line. A offered $10 for the finest pound of butter, B $ro for the finest dozen of eggs, etc. When it came Strong’s turn he said that he wanted all night to think it over, as he felt very poor. The next day he sent to the committee this proposition: “Rush Strong will give half the entire stock in his store to the man or woman who is contented with his or her lot in life.” It was published in the pamphlet of the Fair Asso- ciation, and caused a laugh all over the State. Oneday the president said to Strong: “ Look here, Strong, we've been fooling about this thing long enough, and now it’s getting serious. You had better stop it right now, and tell everybody that you were only joking, because there's a chap down here in Blount County who's a-goin' to take you up, and he’s got half a dozen neigh- bors ready to swear that he's absolutely contented with his lot in life.” Strong vowed that he meant business, and would leave the decision in the committee's hands; the stock was ready to be divided. Pleading was in vain. The man appeared with his witnesses, declaring that he was He made out a good case, and __half—forty-two oysters. the committee were’ about to decide in his favor, when Strong arose and asked quietly : “Gentlemen, if this man is contented with his lot in life, what on earth does he want with the half of my stock?—Exchange. CHartes H. Hovt once journeyed to San Francisco with one of hisown companies. Most of his companions got out very early one morning to have a look at the Rocky Mountain scenery. Hoyt remained in his state- room, One of the young women in her enthusiasm over the prospect ran excitedly to his door and thumped on it with vigor. “What's the row ?” came from within. “Come out, Mr. Hoyt, come out and see the per- fectly lovely scenery.” “I don't want to see it,” replied Hoyt. ‘I'm pay- ing excess baggage now ona good deal of it, That's enough for me."—Cleveland Plain Dealer. ‘THe manager of a big restaurant near Broad Street station vouches for this story. A day or two ago an individual manifestly from the ‘‘roral deestricks,” drifted up against the counter at which raw oysters are dispensed. ‘Young fellow,” he remarked to the box- man, ‘you kin gimme some o' them raw eyesters,” a request which was promptly complied with. After the first half-dozen had been deftly extracted from their shells and tossed before the bucolic epicure, the artist who was handling the oyster knife glanced up inquir- ingly. Seeing the countryman still holding his fork expectantly poised, he continued his operations, and it was a race between the two until-the oysterman paused to wipe the perspiration from his brow. The country- man had up to this point consumed three dozen and a “Young feller," he drawled, [THE MACMILLAN COMPANY, NEW YORK AND Losal MLUSICSTUDY IN GERMANY. From the correspondence of Amy Fay The Law of Civilisation and Decay. Adams. & Virgin Soil. By & avols. By Ivan Turgenev. G. P. PUTNAM'S SONS, NEW YORK AND Lopes, Beaux and Belles, By Arthur Grissom. The War of the Standards. By Albion W. Tec Abraham Lincoln, (A poem.) By Lyman Wy Allen, F, TENNYSON NEELY, NEW YoRK, Soap Bubbles. By Max Nordau. The Nation's Greatest Problem, Field Flowers, Iustrated. Selections fra poems of Eugene Field, Chicago: Under the ars of Mrs. Eugene Field. “when you pened 10 cents wuth I reckon yor bey quit. I b’lieve I don't want no more than a dimes this time."—PAsladelphia Record, Bishop Wiser, of Alabama, famous as a: teller, says that one of his friends lost a dearly te wife, and in his sorrow, caused these words to ted scribed on her tombstone: ‘The light of mise has gone out.” The bereaved married within a m Shortly afterwards the Bishop was walking throxt graveyard with another gentleman. When they at the tomb, the latter asked the Bishop what ber say of the present state of affairs, in view of the on the tombstone. ‘1 think,” said the Bishop,“ words ‘But I have struck another match’ sheet For salo by all Newadealers in Great Britain, | The Inter- Toadon, EC, Enguand, ac! Bream's Building, Chancery Lane, Evnorssx Aouxre—Messre. Brent Paris; Saartach'e® News Germany, Agents for sta venue de POpe, or Germany, Ai and Bwitzeriand, ew SoaP There are only a few brands of manufactured articles that are kept by a// grocers, Ivory Soap is one of these. ‘Twe Procren & Gawait Co., Conn, A GENT LEMANS SMOKE If the slgnatare of C. W. Abbott & Co. Is not on every bottle It’s not genuine, original An gostara Bitters. All Draggists. Mrs, JImsMirH: George, what does “in hoc signo vinces" mean ? JimssitH: I don’t precisely know, but, | judging from the first two words, I should conclude that the ancients, too, had their troubles."—Buffalo Express. ‘DALY'S, GEISHA Evgs. at 8.15, Mat. at 8.1 Mat. Wed. & Sat. at 2. So you got 0 you got those scars in the war. You have a right to be pr ud of them, sir.” ‘| | ‘‘ Not strictly. You see I was a substitute.” — Detroit Tribune. All you have guessed about lite insurance may be wrong. If WE PAY ester ntow a Why ie POST-: sued by the Paw Muruat Lrg ‘gar-3-5 Chestnut Street, Phila- ACE. éelphia. “HUNTER Baltimore Rye” The American Gentleman's WHISKEY For Club, Family and Medi-/ cinal use. The Best WHISKEY YEARS OLD WNTER Endorsed by leading physi- cians when stimulant is prescril PURE, OLD, MELLOW ° DRINK HUNTER RYE—IT'S PURE Sold at all First-Class Cafes and by Jobbers, WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, md. prrceec FIFTH AVE, AND TENTH ST., NEW YORK CITY. One of the most luxuriously furnished hotels in the country. Engagements may now be made by the month, year or tran- siently. Restaurant open to the public. Write for illustrated booklet. M. J. SHEA. in America) THE GROSYENOR LOUISE & (0 ANNOUNCE THEIR Fall Opening IN IMPORTED Parisian Milline UESDAY, 6th OCTOBE And following days. 294 FIFTH AVENUE. JAMES L. McEWEI TAILOR, LIFE BUILDING, 19 WEST Sis: TELEPHONE CALL, 1760R AGENT FOR SMALPAGE & Sos HAVING just received a 0 line of new {mportations! invite inspection of the same. Respectfally. JANES L, MeE! Six Trains Daily for Chicago-NEW YORK CENTRA