Life — September 3, 1896 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

*LIFE: Fast NUBIA Black Cotton Dress Linings—For Waist and Skirt, Will Not Crock. It is positively unchangeable and of superior quality. Nothing else so fully satisfies the highest requirements and yet the cost is moderate enough for any dress. . . 3... All Leading DRY GOODS Stores, Look for this on EVERY YARD of the Selvage. Cacian Fase KFlack THE G.uB~ COCKTAILS >= Manhattan, Martinl, Whiskey, Holland Gin, Tom Gin, Vermouth and York Seashore, or the Picnic, All ready for use, require no mixing. Connoisseurs agree that of two cocktails made of the same proportions, the one bottled and aged must be the better. Try our York Cocktall—without any sweetening —i delicious. For sale on the Dining and Buffet Cars of the principal railroads of the U. S., and alf druggists and dealers. AVOID IMITATIONS. G. F. HEUBLEIN & BRO., Sole Props. 39 Broaoway, New York. Hartroro, Conn. 20 Piccaoitty, W. Lonoon, Ena. aviland China It is important to buyers that they should be informed that the only ware that has always been known as Haviland China is marked under each piece: H&Cc° Aran? On White China, On Decorated China. STRANGER : Is there a law in this town against selling liquor on Sunday ? Otp Restpent: Yes; but don't let that worry you, my friend ; there's no law against buying it, Roxbury Gazette Crancy had a dog. It was of that ind combination of breed which had adorned it with the head of a St. Bernard and the tail of a pug: never- theless, Clancy held the canine in high regard for its fighting qualities. “Shure, an’ it’s a foine baste, he is!" said Pat, * He don’t be mooch to look at, but he can :! Yis, sorr! He's adomn foine darg ata scrap. Just then a fussy little black-and-tan, about athird the size of Pat's dog, came pertly along, and, jump. ing at the legs of the mongrel, sent him howling down the street. “1 thought you said your cur was a fighter?” asked a man on the sidewalk. Pat thought for a moment, then ina conf tone: ‘*Dat's roight. He's great at a scrap, he’s a domn bad judge of dargs."—Boston Budget. Ix a Southern city, a few years ago, a yor law. yer undertook the defence of an old darky who had been arrested as a chicken-thief, and who in the days of slavery had been owned by the lawyer's father. It was the young man’s first plea, and was not brilliant in either construction or delivery. The darky received a pretty severe sentence, his guilt being well proved. “Thank you, sah,” said the prisoner, addressing the judge cheerfully, when the sentence had beea pronounced ; “‘dat's mighty hard, but it ain't any- whar near what I expected. I thought, sah, dat between my character and pore Mars’ Frank's speech, dey'd Aang me, sure!” — Youth's Companion. SOME reporters were waiting for news after mid- night recently of the condition of Cornelius Van- derbilt. It is no fun to kick your heels against the pavement until 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning, and the reporters grew restless. ‘This reminds me,” said one, reflectively, “‘of the death watch onthe old commodore. Things were quite differest then from what they are now. When the old com modore was just taken ill he used to send for vs every day and have us up in his room and tell us all | about himself, He used to read the papers and be noticed that a great deal of space was devoted to him, “** Well, boys,’ he said cne morning, ‘1 hope I | live a little longer for your sakes. You seem to be making a lot of space out of me.’ “Finally, thoughe when he became too ill to see us, we had to camp out as we are doing now, and it | soon became tedious.. We used to camp aboat twenty feet from the front of the house in v old gentleman lay, and sometimes you cou! what was said in the sick-room. “ Among us was acertain gentleman who 1s no¥ the respected father of a family, He was rather impatient. It was late at night. He hada voice is ea bull. Oh, why don't he die?’ he suddenly exclaimed, petulantly. “We thought no more of his remark until a fe minutes later, when a trim servant girl came out of the house. She looked us over and watched us {vt a few moments. Then Doc said something and s came overto himand handed hima note. He opene? it, wondering what it could be. On the paper ¥a5 ascore or so of words written in the old commodore’s well-known scrawl. They read: “LT trast you will pardon me, but as this is the first time I have ever died, I am a little inexperienced and don’t exactly know how to go about it. If yo will bear with me a little while, however, I will U7 todo my best.’ ‘The old gentleman had heard the pious remark and it had been too much for his grim sense of humor."—New York Press. “Dip Mrs. Jones give up her bloomers to please her husband ?"” (No; her pug dog wouldn't come near her whe? she had{them on.” —Chicago Record. comicbooks.com