Life, 1896-08-13 · page 11 of 18
Life — August 13, 1896 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Life Magazine Page 121 This page contains satirical advice and commentary rather than a political cartoon. The main article, "Avenues to Greatness: How to Become a Successful Physician," mocks medical practice by suggesting doctors can succeed by practicing on animals first, hiring fashionable dress and acquaintances, and learning to express sympathy without caring. The joke targets physician pretension and profit-seeking. A second section titled "Some Handsome Figures" quotes McKinley-era Republican rhetoric about pension debt to Civil War veterans (970,000 pensioners costing $140 million annually). The satire appears to criticize the party's boasting about soldier pensions while criticizing government spending. The bottom illustration, "The Cook and the Kerosene," references early Egyptian jokes—likely a nonsensical punchline typical of period humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
pips'r I AVENUES TO GREATNESS. BFCOME A SUCCESSFUL PHYSICIAN. Va THs will take some four years | of time, as, although exces- al) sively annoying, it is necessary to ; havea diploma. You can, however, pass the time very pleasantly on rabbits, dogs, men and other animals, and acquire a proper yj thirst for blood. Also hire a dress suit and make the acquaint- ance of a few of the best families. Devote yourself more especially to the ladies, and learn with La Rouche- foucauld the art of expressing sympathy - without feeling it. When you examine a patient, particularly if he be in a critical condition, turn him over as much as possible and find how much he will stand. He will think more of you for doing it. Always operate if possible and always predict death. If the patient lives he will think it is due entirely to your skill, and if he dies his family will think you are the greatest HOW TO a LLUS SAY THERE WAS man on earth. Nothing disturbs a patient so much as to die when you have said he would recover. By pur- suing these methods, in a short time you will be able to charge $1,000 for a consultation, and will have the satisfaction of knowing that, so far as the general mor- tality is concerned, it amounts to the same thing i long run. TM. SOME HANDSOME FIGURES. HIS from a recent speech of Mr. McKinley: The great debt of this Government is now to the surviving soldiers of the Republic. [Applause.] There are 970,000 pensioners on the honored pension roll of this Gov- ernment to-day, and the Government pays out of its public treasury, in pensions, over $140,000,000 every year to the soldiers and sailors, their widows and their orphans. Every dollar of that debt must be paid in the best currency and coin of the world. [Great cheering and cries of ‘* The Republican party will see to that.”] Now, go lightly, Major. There are more than 970,000 thoughtful citizens whose votes you are praying for, but who will be less eager for hard money if it is to be shovelled out, as fast as collected, to those gallant but absorbent veterans, THE COOK AND THE KEROSENE. From Lire’s RECENT DISCOVERIES OF EARLY EGYPTIAN JOKES. comicbooks.com